Psych nurse action figure ?
I needed a therapeutic intervention from our heroic action figure this week. I had an internal struggle regarding a patient situation. Thankfully, it helped me communicate with him in a way that led him to feel comfortable and trusting of our care. The trouble was..... Because this guy lacked adequate medical care, he's become disabled. He's not terminal in his disability, but he has zero quality of life, and no family to help him. And as of this week, he's homeless. He attempted suicide. I can understand why he would choose that route, and didn't for a second think to myself, "why would he choose this?!" like I usually find myself doing when we admit suicide attempts. It was obvious why. He doesn't suffer from mental illness. Alert, oriented, sweet person who has tried very hard in this life. He suffers from physical illness and can't bare to deal with it anymore while homeless. When I did his admission history, we reached the advanced directives/code status questions and all I could think was..... His whole life is suffering. If he wants DNR, let it be.
Sometimes I wish we nurses could be robots. Then we'd avoid this stuff getting into our brains so deeply.
We have met the "heroic action figure", and it is you, ixchel.
Some of your heroic actions included communicating with this Patient "that led him to feel safe and comfortable". You cared about his plight, empathized with him, and provided a service. You did everything that was your responsibility. Now is the time to let go and let God, the Fates, Forces That be, or Whatever and take care of yourself so you can continue providing exemplary service.
Great nurses, such as yourself, ixchel, cannot be Robots- entirely. You can be objective , but, at the same time, caring in the provision of the task you've undertaken.
And, I don't believe "this stuff" has gotten into your brain, but your heart. Again another reason you're such a great Nurse.
There are some great reads out there on the dynamics of suicide which might help you gain a more perspectives and assist you in dealing with your feelings. Night Falls Fast is one such book which comes to mind.
There are also some great discussions on suicide in this Forum, if you'd do a Search.
Here's a recent one:
https://allnurses.com/psychiatric-nursing/chronic-pain-depression-1002556.html
The very best to you, ixchel. I doff my proverbial hat to you!
ixchel
4,547 Posts
Recreational therapist? Is that someone who makes sure you're functioning at the highest level of recreational activities possible? I think I'd like one of those.