Ever hear that expression, "lowering the boom"? It's pretty descriptive of the way I felt tonight when my dear, sweet DON told me, ever so gently, that I might want to be prepared for lean times ahead: Our census has been dropping for weeks, and the numbers aren't going up any time in the foreseeable future; ergo, nursing hours are about to be cut. Big time. Like instead of being scheduled for four shifts per week, I might be lucky to work two.
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I know it's just a bit of rotten luck that can't be helped; the other nurse who works in that section has got YEARS of seniority over me, and she wants to work as much as she possibly can. But it also means that I'm going to have to look for another job---again---because I can't live on two shifts per week. There's no stinkin' way...especially not with a husband who is woefully underemployed, working at best 30 hours per weeks for minimum wage, and whose prospects for anything better lie somewhere between slim and none.
I don't want to leave. I love my job, love my co-workers, the residents, the schedule...it's all as close to ideal as it gets in this cynical age. But I don't know what else to do. Rumor has it that our prospects will be vastly better once the other nursing home in town closes down in September, but that seems awfully far away when you're looking at the possibility of being unable to pay your bills for three long months. I've done without cable, phone, even electricit...but I certainly don't recommend it.
So, what to do? I'm not laid off...at least, not yet, but that might come at some point if the census keeps heading into the dumper. I may be popular and well-thought-of at work, but I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if the Grim Reaper were standing at my elbow drooling in anticipation of the moment when someone says "Sorry, but I've got to ask you to leave your locker key at the front office." I haven't been there long enough even to HAVE a locker yet. That's what makes this so frustrating: I have no seniority---most of the nurses have been there for years (hence the reason why there are no lockers available). There are only three nurses with less time in than I have, and they're first in line once layoffs begin...and they WILL begin. What we don't know is where---or with whom---they will end.
I don't want to jump ship, but when management as good as ours is running around doing the modern equivalent of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic and we're STILL sinking...well, the chances of keeping my job just don't look all that great from where I sit, and I've never been much for playing things by ear.
Ah, well, looks like I'd best dust off the old resume and put out some feelers. Just not today---my son graduates from high school, and I will not spoil his big day by giving him something to worry about besides the possibility of tripping on stage in front of 40 gazillion people when he steps up to receive his diploma.
But I'm worried, yes I am, and at fifty I am not looking forward to starting over yet again.
