I am posting this because I feel we need to get real!
I just realized today why I am suffering from nursing burnout. It's because the patient population has change so much in the past ten years. Ten years ago, I didn't have to deal with meth addicts EVERY DAY! Ten years ago, the meth patient was the rarity. Ten years ago, I didn't have to deal with morbidly obese patients EVERY DAY! It's not news... the data is out there: Americans are getting fatter and fatter every year! Why? What do these two types of patients have in common that frustrates me? BAD CHOICES! Morbidly obese patients are very difficult to take care of..... they can't move themselves in bed. (my back is killin' me!) They have infected wounds caused by their obesity. They suffer from diabetes which adds a whole 'nother list of complications (and time providing care). Meth addicts are just plain impossible to take care of! They want (and get) more morphine... because the LAW says if they say they're "in pain" we have to treat their pain..... even if they have no wounds or other obvious cause.... yet 10 minutes after they get their IV morphine, they want to go outside, dragging their IV pole on wheels, so they can have a cigarette. And I have to let them, because they have "rights"!! Yet their safety is my responsibility!! ?? I just don't get it. What about my rights as a professional and a responsible nurse?!
The guy down the hall with the brain tumor or colon cancer? He didn't CHOOSE to be sick! And yet I don't have adequate time to take care of him as I'd like or as he deserves because I'm too busy taking care of the whiney meth addict or the morbidly obese patient! I apologize for my brutal honesty.... but these patients belong on a psych unit because their diseases are psychologically base. I am not a psych nurse. I don't want to be a psych nurse. The patient with the brain tumor or cancer or Alzheimers? He/she is most always very appreciative, humble, pleasant even! Depressed, yes of course! But cooperative! But the addicts? Always demanding, whining, and often downright insatiable! No wonder there's a national nursing shortage!
Will I feel bad after posting this and re-reading what I've posted? NO I WILL NOT, because I have re-read it three times before clicking "post".... my back hurts and I am stressed out from another 12 hour shift of worrying if my patients are safe, comfortable, and well taken care of. That's the most important part of my job.... making sure my patients are safe and comfortable. Yet lately, I leave work feeling inadequate. I feel my SICK patients are being shorted by the overwhelming needs of my addicted patients... whether they are addicted to food or drugs. But how can I help them if they refuse to help themselves?? We need new parameters for caring for diseases that originate in the mind (choices) versus diseases that originate in the body (no choice).... even if those choices have deep roots such as background, lifestyle, lack of knowledge or awareness.... they must be addressed and repaired. And soon! (sigh! Just typing as fast as I'm thinking here, folks!) At least I still possess the compassion to care about finding a solution!! I haven't walked away from my chosen profession yet. I'd like to find a solution!!
"I am disgusted by the OP. I hope like heck she never has to battle the demons of addiction. If she does, I hope her nurse is not as judgemental as she is."
Lighten up Babarnurse. There is nothing wrong with venting, and I totally understand where she is coming from. I had a patient that weighed over 600 pounds and was furious that she was placed on a cardiac diet. Did it alter the way I took care of her? Of course not, but I am not going to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude about it either. Additionally, if I ever feel that I am becoming complacent towards certain patients (addicts or obesity or both), I will find a different field of nursing.
Im sorry, but I do feel that in MOST circumstances, obesity IS a choice. I think that so called "food" addictions are on a totally different level from chemical addictions.
You know, it seems like no matter where we go, there always has to be one or more people that will try to make you feel ashamed for being human.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Originally Posted by Babarnurse
"I am disgusted by the OP. I hope like heck she never has to battle the demons of addiction. If she does, I hope her nurse is not as judgemental as she is."
Lighten up Babarnurse. There is nothing wrong with venting, and I totally understand where she is coming from. I had a patient that weighed over 600 pounds and was furious that she was placed on a cardiac diet. Did it alter the way I took care of her? Of course not, but I am not going to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude about it either. Additionally, if I ever feel that I am becoming complacent towards certain patients (addicts or obesity or both), I will find a different field of nursing.
Im sorry, but I do feel that in MOST circumstances, obesity IS a choice. I think that so called "food" addictions are on a totally different level from chemical addictions.
You know, it seems like no matter where we go, there always has to be one or more people that will try to make you feel ashamed for being human.
The day that it is unsafe to vent is the day that nursing will really become unsafe. If we cannot vent SOMEWHERE; it gets pent up inside, because we don't wish to be judged by our thoughts. This leads to further frustrations, and, it may ultimately lead to us being so wired up with anger that a patient does actually suffer behind the frustrations and anxiety of the nurse. THEN...there is a problem.
Since when it is wrong to express an opinion? What is this...I can only play if I agree with what everyone else is saying. That is a bunch of crap. I stand by what I said. yes, I have had those days and yes, I have felt that way to a certain extent. However, I don't single out one or two specific groups and voice my frustration. The OP doesn't know jack about them, what happened in their lives, etc. No one here does either. Don't judge someone else until you have walked in their shoes. No one knows why people make the choices they do.
I believe that addiction is addiction is addiction. It doesn't matter if it is to food, sex, alcohol or drugs. The person is still self medicating, just with different things.
I am not a nurse (yet) but I can relate to some of what the OP said. I have watched my father go from a healthy, fit man to one who is obese and slowly killing himself with food. He has diabetes now and high blood pressure, thyroid, heartburn, and other things related to the food addiction. He has eczema which is severe if he eats certain foods-- I watch him eat them anyway knowing he will get a bad outbreak and his skin will bleed and crack a day or two later. It's very very frustrating and on one hand I love him and worry. On the other hand I'm angry that he put me in this position to be worrying about him, and the doctors he has seen for years that tell him he has to lose weight and he has to follow his diabetic diet. I can see where you are coming from as someone who is trying to help heal people and watching them self-destruct. It is beyond the scope of your practice (and my role as a daughter) to make these people do what they need to do.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Since when it is wrong to express an opinion? What is this...I can only play if I agree with what everyone else is saying. That is a bunch of crap. I stand by what I said. yes, I have had those days and yes, I have felt that way to a certain extent. However, I don't single out one or two specific groups and voice my frustration. The OP doesn't know jack about them, what happened in their lives, etc. No one here does either. Don't judge someone else until you have walked in their shoes. No one knows why people make the choices they do.
No, I do not see it as you are not allowed to express an alternative opinion than most others are feeling. This is an open forum where people will disagree with each other. The OP has an opinion based on her experiences and interpetations of them, and so did you. I do view the OP's comments as she was venting, and it happened to be about a certain group of people. It is safer to vent and admit to self what our feelings are than to take it out on someone else. The OP stated she was burnt out and was expressing why. You said you were disgusted with the OP, and for myself, I was saying that was safer to say it here in safety than to take it out on them. I think that by saying disgusted was a bit harsh. It is true what you said, we don't know anything about the OP, the patients, or each other. However, it should not be a bad thing to express frustrations.
I *never* said it was a bad thing to express one's opinion. In fact, this is the perfect place to do it. I simply disagreed and politely got my butt handed to me by nurses who "don't eat their young".
I am *still* disgusted by the OP and hope she never finds herself in the grips of addiction.
Our job is tough. And it's part of the job that we do, to think the way that we do. Health maintenance and prevention. It's hard to watch when people make choices that they know aren't good for them, and don't want help. We can end up talking with a person about their weight issues, but many times they are going to come back with the same issues (cellulitis, heart problems), seemingly indifferent to the fact that without help they are contributing to making themselves sick each time. The manipulative behaviors that a lot of drug addicts have are also hard to deal with. My buddy used to work with them in group therapy, and he would always tell me how a person has to hit their own "rock bottom" before they feel the need to change. His thinking was: "Unfortunately people don't usually see the light, they feel the fire." But to be able to be there for that person when they finally were ready to get help, not just to get better... that was what kept him going.
We are supposed to be able to treat people nonjudgementally, but this isn't a perfect world, and none of us are perfect people. We are supposed to love the world, and enjoy the company of each and every patient. Is it possible. Yes. Is it easy. No.
But it's not flowery words that make a difference to a person, it's generally the actions that others take. I would suggest looking at the reason why you are choosing to care for people.
My reasons started with my interest in medicine, and in a definate wage increase, and have since changed.
Realizing that every action that I take, in every day, makes an impact on someone's life (regardless of whether I am working in the nurse game or not). The reason why I now give is because others gave to me. I am not worthy of the kindness that I have received, nor can a whole life of service to others ever repay it. And I am truthful in saying that I would like to see what good things happen as a result of my care for others, but also honest with myself in realizing that I might never see people's lives changed.
It takes time to accept the fact that the cardinal rule about people is
"people will always be people". People will be imperfect, whiny, obnoxious, manipulative, selfish, and many other things. But people are also capable of acts of kindness, selflessness, and beauty.
It's always going to be hard, and there are always going to be folks that grind on your last nerve, so it's good to vent! I am glad that you did missrose!
Babarnurse....in my opinion, you did more that simply disagree. You got personal.
I am sure you have your reasons for being so vigilant in the stance you take, and I hope you use it to your advantage in your nursing career...but I would be careful not to let it make you feel "disgusted" with people who are simply venting. You came off as harsh and offensive.
We weren't "eating our young"....obviously we felt the need to defend someone who had a bad day. As nurses, its a bad thing when we feel that we have to defend eachother against a fellow nurse.
And regarding your personal views of addiction....we will have to agree to disagree.
I think I understand how you feel because I have felt the resentment and bitterness you describe only it was directed at a different (and I know, undeserving) aggregate: old people.
Right or wrong I'll tell how I got to feel about old people, and it didn't start out this way. My heart was gold when I started working in the nursing home but after ten years and a lot of frustration and thankless working conditions my gold heart turned into steel and while I realized when it was time to move on, right or wrong I still struggle to some expent with certain issues pertaining to my experiences.
I got to the point where I was fed up with the neediness, the complaining and moaning, the feelings of entitlement to have access to healthcare that could help younger people with a future but who couldn't afford healthcare. I would see tube fed vegetables in bed using up untold amounts of money to be basically a living corpse (but NO, it never even crossed my mind to "pull the plug", I was disgusted, NOT psycho!) and it would disgust me because I knew a 40 yr. old woman with breast cancer who was uninsured and turned down by Medicaid. I vowed I would not be a drain on society and in my mind this was what most old people turn out to be. I'd see news reports about studies done on the elderly and I'd sneer and wonder why society is wasting so much money on old people when there are so many diseases young people suffer from that should be studied. The way I saw it old people need to shut up and get out of the way and make way for young people because it was a losing battle. I'd see old people out in public shuffling around and say to whomever was with me, if I start to get like that shoot me. And what might seem bad is this prejudice was even carried over to myself. I'd forego getting my teeth fixed seeing it as a waste of money and now I look like somebody out of Deliverance. It briefly crossed my mind to get a hair coloring when I noticed some grey in my hair but then I thought, why would I waste money on something like that on an old used up nobody like me? I saw this woman belly dancing and thought if I was slim that would be a neat thing to do, then I thought who wants to look at some ol' 30-something year old hag lumbering around when there are scores of young beauties for people to feast their eyes on?
So here I go hitting the submit button.
Now, I believe I can put things in perspective better and I know I"m not right but once prejudices develop it takes a lot of work to let go.
Still, I'm ashamed of myself now.
I think it is time for you to do what I did and get out of that situation that is causing you the stress. It is understandable that you may feel the way you do but it is not okay to stay in a situation where you resent the very people you are there to help.
I am disgusted by the OP. I hope like heck she never has to battle the demons of addiction. If she does, I hope her nurse is not as judgemental as she is.
It was a venting post, as she said in the beginning. She has since had a vacation and posted back saying she's feeling much better.
God save me from the mutual admiration society that arrives after every single allnurses' venting post. We get a lecture about how they would never do or feel such a thing, and anyone who lets a judgemental thought cross their mind must be burnt out. Sometime people just need to blow off steam.
IMO an honest nurse who vents is better than a judgemental nurse who never has a negative thought. I know who I'd rather trust MY life to.:angryfire
it was a venting post, as she said in the beginning. she has since had a vacation and posted back saying she's feeling much better.
god save me from the mutual admiration society that arrives after every single allnurses' venting post. we get a lecture about how they would never do or feel such a thing, and anyone who lets a judgemental thought cross their mind must be burnt out. sometime people just need to blow off steam.
imo an honest nurse who vents is better than a judgemental nurse who never has a negative thought. i know who i'd rather trust my life to.:angryfire
i completely agree with you canoehead.
people post a vent because sometimes they want to hear, 'you know, you're not the only one who feels like that.'
2shihtzus
120 Posts
Originally Posted by Babarnurse
"I am disgusted by the OP. I hope like heck she never has to battle the demons of addiction. If she does, I hope her nurse is not as judgemental as she is."
Lighten up Babarnurse. There is nothing wrong with venting, and I totally understand where she is coming from. I had a patient that weighed over 600 pounds and was furious that she was placed on a cardiac diet. Did it alter the way I took care of her? Of course not, but I am not going to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude about it either. Additionally, if I ever feel that I am becoming complacent towards certain patients (addicts or obesity or both), I will find a different field of nursing.
Im sorry, but I do feel that in MOST circumstances, obesity IS a choice. I think that so called "food" addictions are on a totally different level from chemical addictions.
You know, it seems like no matter where we go, there always has to be one or more people that will try to make you feel ashamed for being human.