About 4 years ago, I started as a part time nurse in a LTC/Rehab facility. Since then, I’ve moved on to full time nurse, interim nurse manager and now, full time manager. Over the past 4 years, I’ve had the pleasure of working with one lady that I’ve always had a connection with. I used to spend 2 hours getting her to bed, including giving her a nightly foot soak. On Sundays, we used to pray together with Eucharistic Minister that would visit our facility.
Because of the COVID pandemic, they have rearranged patients. Thus, she is no longer assigned to my case load as she is now on another unit. The other staff members and manager do not give her the same amount of attention. She will only eat and drink for me, and is now on hospice. She has no family in her life. Now that she’s dying, I want to spend as much time with her as possible regardless of whose patient she is. I try and always plan my day to start and end with a visit to her, along with four other visits. Because of my dedication to her care, I find myself getting irritated when patients on my unit take up time I’d rather be with her. These patients have family, are not dying and are overall annoying. I even got involved with repositioning the resident and taking her vital signs when a care conference for a different patient was occurring. However, if I do not make regular visits to this lady, she won’t get the attention she needs.
I am just wondering if 6 visits a day is too many? Also, anyone else experience increased dedication when they find out a favorite one is dying?
I am sorry for you loss. You spent a lot of years caring for this patient, and I am sure you made her final years and days much more comfortable and meaningful.
You seem to be very self aware of your short comings and the areas that you need to work on. So you are able to make changes where changes are needed. I don't think "a paper trail to your termination" is always the answer. Sorry.
I know a lot of people are chewing you out here, but you seem to be receptive to the criticism and willing to change. Most people would be on the defensive. I just want to say that you sound like a caring nurse. Some nurses I have worked with didn't care. They were just there for the paycheck. If you don't care for people then you're in the wrong profession. I think it is probably easier to tone down someone who cares too much, than to try to get someone to care more.
I am sorry for you loss. You spent a lot of years caring for this patient, and I am sure you made her final years and days much more comfortable and meaningful.
You seem to be very self aware of your short comings and the areas that you need to work on. So you are able to make changes where changes are needed. I don't think "a paper trail to your termination" is always the answer. Sorry.
I know a lot of people are chewing you out here, but you seem to be receptive to the criticism and willing to change. Most people would be on the defensive. I just want to say that you sound like a caring nurse. Some nurses I have worked with didn't care. They were just there for the paycheck. If you don't care for people then you're in the wrong profession. I think it is probably easier to tone down someone who cares too much, than to try to get someone to care more.
When you are using 2 hours of care time on one patient, and are annoyed by patients on your own caseload, there's a major problem. It means that someone on your caseload isn't getting as good of a level of care that has a right to it as well. I think the poster who noted that perhaps management thought that there may be a reason for the OP to not have direct care of this patient anymore was on to something. The OP in a few comments also noted that this had happened with a couple of other patients as well. This is a major boundary issue, as well as possible neglect or dereliction of duty-though I doubt it went that far-OP also mentioned that other staff was wondering where she is during these visits. This sends up the alarm that she wasn't there to care for her patients. It's okay to have favorites, as long as you don't neglect the needs of others, or just put those needs on someone else's caseload. This patient has passed, so it's a moot point now, but in the future, OP needs to keep contact like this on her own time, not on work time, and better yet separate herself from work to keep it from happening.
We all have patients we connect with and grow close to. It is a natural part of the human experience. I have had some patients that I hated to say goodbye to, but I was glad that they no longer needed me at the same time.
It is OK to feel closeness, but not OK to give more to them then your other patients. It is not OK to take from others to give to one. That is where the line is drawn, when it affects other patients. Even if you went after work, after you punched out and spent extra time with a dying woman I would say it was acceptable. I have helped out home health patients on my own time with things a couple of times- sent my husband to get rid of a wasp nest for a blind man, that kind of thing.
You are a sensitive person. I am sure this woman benefited from having you in her life. Sometimes people are very lonely and they cling. We by nature are fixers and helpers, we need to be needed. You just have to set limits on yourself. It is harder when you see the same patient every day for years. They do become like family. I understand. But you have to keep professional boundaries even if it is hard. Many others need you too!
Specializes in Surgical Specialty Clinic - Ambulatory Care.
I think you fell hard for this patient, but you should not visit this patient while you are at work any longer. I say clock out every day and spend 5-10minutes visiting with her before you go home. You are more than professionally attached to this patient. And that is okay as long as you realize it, take good care of your current patients, and only see this one on your own time...as a friend....which means you don’t get report from other nurses to make sure that her care is being done or look at her chart.
About 4 years ago, I started as a part time nurse in a LTC/Rehab facility. Since then, I’ve moved on to full time nurse, interim nurse manager and now, full time manager. Over the past 4 years, I’ve had the pleasure of working with one lady that I’ve always had a connection with. I used to spend 2 hours getting her to bed, including giving her a nightly foot soak. On Sundays, we used to pray together with Eucharistic Minister that would visit our facility.
Because of the COVID pandemic, they have rearranged patients. Thus, she is no longer assigned to my case load as she is now on another unit. The other staff members and manager do not give her the same amount of attention. She will only eat and drink for me, and is now on hospice. She has no family in her life. Now that she’s dying, I want to spend as much time with her as possible regardless of whose patient she is. I try and always plan my day to start and end with a visit to her, along with four other visits. Because of my dedication to her care, I find myself getting irritated when patients on my unit take up time I’d rather be with her. These patients have family, are not dying and are overall annoying. I even got involved with repositioning the resident and taking her vital signs when a care conference for a different patient was occurring. However, if I do not make regular visits to this lady, she won’t get the attention she needs.
I am just wondering if 6 visits a day is too many? Also, anyone else experience increased dedication when they find out a favorite one is dying?
One unassigned visit sounds concerning, especially since it sounds like it is interfering with your duty to your current patient assignment. You should also be limiting your contacts during a pandemic.
NRKB, MSN, RN
75 Posts
I am sorry for you loss. You spent a lot of years caring for this patient, and I am sure you made her final years and days much more comfortable and meaningful.
You seem to be very self aware of your short comings and the areas that you need to work on. So you are able to make changes where changes are needed. I don't think "a paper trail to your termination" is always the answer. Sorry.
I know a lot of people are chewing you out here, but you seem to be receptive to the criticism and willing to change. Most people would be on the defensive. I just want to say that you sound like a caring nurse. Some nurses I have worked with didn't care. They were just there for the paycheck. If you don't care for people then you're in the wrong profession. I think it is probably easier to tone down someone who cares too much, than to try to get someone to care more.