Is it possible to be successful in nursing with poor social skills?

Gummibear_stare · Jul 12, 2015

RNperdiem, there are two Cnas that tell me what others are saying about me. I never ask them. They just approach me and tell me. Honestly, I wish they wouldn't because ignorance is bliss. I'm guessing they do this to get a reaction out of me? I think being too quiet can attract people that want to push you around. I've only been working on this unit for a few months now.

Libby1987 · Jul 13, 2015

Good grief why do they do that??

Have they told you anything concrete that you can address or just divisive nonsense?

NightOwl0624 · Jul 13, 2015

Heather, a psychologist told me that I have some aspergers traits but not enough to fit the diagnosis. Since I don't have enough traits to fit Aspergers I was given the diagnosis of social anxiety disorder. I've been told that traits of extreme introversion and social anxiety can mimic Aspergers.

You sound a lot like my son (and a little bit like me, too!) I thought for a long time my son had Aspergers, but no one would put that diagnosis on him, he just didn't have enough of the traits. They came up with Pervasive Developmental Delay and Anxiety. I can buy that. He's doing ok, but he struggles a lot with the "little things" most people don't even think twice about. He is going into his second year at college and got his first job. I worry about him a lot, though!

I'm sorry you are having problems at work. It sounds like you think you are doing ok as a nurse, but don't feel like you fit in with your co-workers (based on the CNAs reporting back to you?)

If this is the case, I would continue on with what you are doing. Being polite, hard working and good with patients should certainly be in your favor!

If this is truly bothering you, though, I wonder if there is ANYONE at work that you feel comfortable with? I know for me, I don't do well with groups, but one-on-one I'm usually ok. Maybe there is one nurse that can help you out a little with the social navigation, and if others see that you are interacting a little bit more, they will leave you alone. There is a big difference between being shy and being unfriendly, adults should be able to recognize that difference.

The other suggestion is to find a therapist who may be able to work this out with you. My son saw a therapist for a while in high school, and it did wonders for him. It helped with his confidence, and also that he really is not that different from other people. (Sometimes highly anxious people are very focused on their differences).

I think you will be just fine, though. Good luck!

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jul 13, 2015

RNperdiem, there are two Cnas that tell me what others are saying about me. I never ask them. They just approach me and tell me.

Anyone who approaches you to inform you that coworkers are talking badly about you is up to no good. Seriously, no good comes out of informing a person that people are talking crap.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 13, 2015

Looks like you have enough experience to find a position that enables you to work on your own.

Stop putting yourself in pain, trying to be something you're not.

LaneyB · Jul 13, 2015

Also, gummi, don't feel too bad about not being in that close social circle at work. Being the quiet observer that I am, I overhear things. People who act like friends to each others faces, back stab and bad mouth them the minute they are not around and they have plenty of ammo in which to do it, because during their downtime people divulge all details of their personal lives. It can and does come back to haunt them at times. It only reinforces my opinion that the less said at work that isn't about work, the better. Food for thought.
Not that you can't make friends at work and have to become a total recluse. I have friends/acquaintances that I have made at work and whom I love working with, (and there are plenty of people on this site who are extremely close with their coworkers). But it took time for me to open up with them. Even still, most of them are strictly work friends and I leave the personal stuff for my outside friends.

I completely agree with this post. We have a newer nurse where I work and she keeps her personal life personal. I don't know if she is in a relationship, has friends, sexual orientation, etc. She keeps it all to herself. And I can say after watching her for the past few years that I will do the same at my next job. It works great for her. She comes in, does her job, and leaves. People do talk about her behind her back, but they do about everyone else too. The difference is there is FAR less to say about her because it's all just speculation.

Gummi - I would tell the CNA's that you don't want to know. Where I work alot is said about everybody, and I finally told the people who tell me what is said about me that I really don't want to hear it. And I've been happier since then.

musingmom · Jul 13, 2015

At the risk of generalizing a people group and some specialties:

I have several friends with asbergers. Their attention to detail and ability to make critical thinking connections without bias would make them excellent nurses in critical care and/or OR. I'd want them to be my nurse over the warm fuzzies with excellent people skills. But they are all engineers.