Is this what its like for everyone?

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2014

I dont have a second to take the time to get to know my patients and even then I feel like I just show up to make them take their meds and leave.

For reasons related to self-preservation and boundaries, I really do not want to get to know about the personal lives of my patients. I'm pleasant and ask a few questions about their day while I perform a quick focused assessment. I administer their medications, do wound care if needed, and try to leave the room within 15 to 20 minutes.

I honestly thought that working with an underserved population would bring me a sense of pride that I was able to make a difference, the only problem is no one wants me to make a difference

The cold, hard reality is that you cannot help certain patients who do not want to be helped. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink anything. The same concept applies to patient care. Good luck to you.

amygarside · Apr 22, 2014

You'll just get used to it. Their are big differences with what you learn from school and what the reality really looks like. Just do what you think is right without compromising yourself. Good luck!

NoviceRN10 · Apr 22, 2014

Definitely felt that way too when I began my first nursing job. Thankless, stressful, often gross, tiring, etc. I work on a surgical floor. I have seen things nobody should ever have to see. Not exactly what kind of nursing I had in mind. I feel like a narcotic pusher more than a caregiver. Everyone is in pain. Everyone is a 10/10, even smiling and chatting on their cellphones. I rarely get an honest pt that will tell me they would like a Norco for their pain level of 3 or 4. I want to hug those pts! I know this is not the kind of nursing for me, but I have been too lazy to move on yet (4 yrs). Are you stuck there for the length of your contract or can you work on a different unit?

aquarius04 · Apr 23, 2014

I have had days where I feel like I am not thanked, and then I have some moments where patients are genuinely thanking me, but I'm so busy with work that I cannot take it in. It sounds like your job is very difficult. Seeing as your locked into a 2 year contract, I would try to see the silver lining. You have a job, (not saying you do not appreciate that) and though this job is difficult you will come out stronger than when you went in. I agree with The Commuter that you need to keep a professional relationship with the patient. However, I see what you are saying that you want to have somewhat of a connection with your patient beyond, "I will be brining your medication in a one hour". I think this is one of those skills we as new grads will develop with time as we perfect our craft. Good luck, and try to hang in there!

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Apr 23, 2014

Crusty old bat here.

Anyone who chooses to become a nurse because they will be 'thanked' and 'acknowledged' for all their good works..... is living in a fairy tale. Although there may be pockets of 'happy' like dealing with L&D families with a healthy newborn, the reality is that most people are pretty grumpy when they're sick. Their family members are stressed out - maybe feeling guilty because of what they did/didn't do for the patient.... and we're on the receiving end. "Civilians" don't know how everything works, who's in charge and how the meds/food/cable TV services are organized... and they really don't care. We are the faces they see, so we get the blame when things don't live up to their expectations.

Some of us are OK with simply knowing that our work is meaningful & contributes to the health/well-being of others. But others, particularly new nurses, who are not yet confident enough to evaluate their own work, need external validation. This is why we need to acknowledge one another. Take the time to provide some 'atta girl/boy' to a colleague who is having a rough day. Offer some positive feedback even though you may not think it's important. Simply saying "Mr ___ is a really difficult patient to work with; I think you are doing a fabulous job of dealing with him" can make someone's day.

It's a rough world out there. We need to take care of one another.

calivianya, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2014

Can you switch to a different unit in your hospital, or is the contract for that specific unit? Not all units are equally thankless, and if you can get your foot into an ICU where a lot of the patients are mechanically ventilated, well... people with a tube down their throat can't exactly pester you about getting more soda, and even if your patients are awake and oriented enough to use a call light, you will likely only have two of them so no more than two of your patients can be hitting the call light at the same time. You might feel more fulfilled somewhere that the patients can't talk to you, and where you see direct results of your actions immediately, like seeing an improvement in BP right after you hang a vasopressor, getting that PRN morphine in and watching your patient stop fighting the ventilator, etc. I like being able to visualize the effects of what I just did, not knowing in some vague sense that I helped them. I get no satisfaction out of passing pills to people who can swallow them, but that's just me.

One of my coworkers just transferred up to our floor from a cardiac stepdown and she said that she thought she wanted to be able to talk to her patients, too, but she was a pretty quick convert to patients who don't talk at all once she had her first patients on a ventilator. Just saying. :)

Libby1987 · Apr 26, 2014

My first year was tough and I felt pretty beat up. But I persisted in finding my niche and have had a great career that honestly is also my passion.

Forget about being appreciated, focus on being excellent under these conditions, get the experience you need and complete your contract and then find your passion.

iPink, BSN, RN · Apr 27, 2014

When I was a new nurse, I started on a progressive care unit. Many of my patients where drug abusers who would fake cardiac issues by their own admission to get on my unit because they ran out of money for their "street pharmaceuticals," but I would occasionally receive a thank you for the care I've provided. You know why? Because they were viewing me as their Dilaudid/Morphine dealer. Sad, but true.

Some patients were homeless and instead of fighting to get into a shelter, they would come through the ER and complain of CP and would be admitted on my floor. They would get a warm bed, 3 meals per day, with a side of Percocet. But I have a responsibility as a nurse to do the best I can for these patients. I get a SW consult, I speak to the doctor regarding adjusting the frequency of the pain meds, and upon discharge I make sure to pack them a small bag of crackers, juice, and socks.

I've worked with MDs who would refuse to order Dilaudid and if the patient happened to be allergic to Morphine and complained Dilaudid wasn't ordered, they were free to leave AMA and I wasn't going to rationalize with them.

With my DM patients who were non-compliant with their diet or medications were provided education from me and I would consult a nutritionist. A few would roll their eyes because they know what they're suppose to do but they choose not to do it. However, in my care I make sure they are on a Diabetic/ADA diet and I would tell the techs not to bring them any snacks or drinks with any concentrated sweets. I didn't care if the patients wanted to complain, we had the data (high A1C level, 300+ BS, etc) that proved they needed a wake-up call including the enablers within the family.

We can't save everyone (even though we want to), but we can only put forth our best no matter the type of patient.