Is it inappropriate to talk to a patient outside of work and give them money?

HiddenAngels · Jul 7

Homeless or not, he is kind of a stranger. I don't think you should have told a stranger where you live.

To your point, I don't think you can get fired for that.

offlabel · Jul 7

Sorry for the blunt response and don't take it personally but you've put yourself in a very dangerous position. His interest in you is likely material and probably physical. You should have a very low threshold for involving the police.

AnnieOaklyRN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Jul 8

Yikes, this is not good. YES, you def crossed professional boundaries, both by giving him money out of your pocket, and giving him your address!! Invite him in and he will refuse to leave, now you are stuck going to court for an eviction, or at the bare minimum calling the police on a PATIENT! Positive he will share your "secret" if you have to do any of those things! I know patients can come off as innocent and wanting to be your friend, but as the other poster eluded to he doesn't want to be your friend because he likes your personality, he wants you for money and possibly other things. Please watch your back and DO NOT LET HIM IN YOUR HOUSE, and def don't do wound care out of the hospital setting, as you won't have coverage for liability or physician orders. Homeless people can be VERY manipulative and charming, and by asking you for money he was probably trying to gage how nieve you are....

Annie

Emergent, RN · Jul 8

This was a huge mistake. It crossed professional boundaries big time. It's also unsafe. I agree with the above, homeless people are manipulative. They also don't have their acts together in a big way. Often this is because they have substance abuse problems, mental illness, or have been arrested so many times they can't get a job or housing. Often they have all three of these factors working together. And they live in a highly enabling society and culture.

HiddenAngels · Jul 8

AnnieOaklyRN said:

Positive he will share your "secret" if you have to do any of those things! I know patients can come off as innocent and wanting to be your friend, but as the other poster eluded to he doesn't want to be your friend because he likes your personality, he wants you for money and possibly other things. Please watch your back and DO NOT LET HIM IN YOUR HOUSE, and def don't do wound care out of the hospital setting, as you won't have coverage for liability or physician orders.

Annie

Yes all of this!

You don't really know this person.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Jul 8

I think you did a no-no. But I don't think you're about to get killed. Everyone who isn't violent is manipulative, that's the way people get their needs met. Homeless people just have more needs. They aren't inherently dangerous, they're inherently needy.

It's not too late to draw a boundary with the dude. I don't think it was that bad that you gave him 17$. I think you should not have told him where you live, but I disagree that telling him where you live is tantamount to him moving into your house.

So you need to set a boundary now. You don't need to seek him out to do it. If you never run into him again, good. If you pass him on your way to work every day, then you can do it at your next interaction.

First figure out what you are willing to do/give? I'm not going to make the decision for you and no one should do that. It has to be your choice. If you want to buy him a coffee on thursdays, that's fine with me. If you want to give him nothing that's also fine.

If it were me, I would set him up with resources, but I live in an area that has good resources. I would set him up with an agency that does wound care for the homeless, and make sure he has access to all the community programs. Then I might give him a pack of crackers daily when I walk by, or something else that I consider small and harmless.

I am guessing that he won't just show up at your house. But if you feel that he will, you need to dial that back. Just say that you were warned by other nurses that you could jeopardize your job (or whatever, that's what's happening here so you're not lying). And tell him you can't actually let him in. Homeless people are used to people telling them no, and it probably will not be an issue.

Of course, if you've warned him, and he shows up anyway, then yeah, you have to call the police. But I'm guessing that's not going to be an issue. There was something you liked about this person.

Good luck. Having poor boundaries with patients is not the worse thing you could do and it's not something we should snatch your license for, but it is something you probably need to work on.

Merasyph1 · Jul 9

Aside from the safety issues and professional boundaries already mentioned, you do not have a provider's order to dress this person's wounds outside of a facility. You would not be covered liability wise. You would have to work for a home health agency and he would need to be a patient of said hha.

You need to be careful and think through scenarios which could put your license, liability, and safety at risk.

DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN · Jul 9

I think the fact that you've posted shows that you have regrets and you realise this was not OK. Try to disentangle and distance yourself as much as you can. This man is not your friend.

In future my advice is give money and clothes to homeless charities, give food to food banks, volunteer at their centres if you wish, but never get involved on a personal one to one basis. It can turn horribly sour. Yes, some homeless people are extremely nice and would not take advantage, but you just don't know. Play safe, and don't jeoprdise your professional life.

Gratefulbutnotstupid, ASN, LPN, RN · Jul 13

If he rings your box, do not answer. After a while he will give up. Do not put yourself in this position again. I can see giving him the money. I probably would have done the same as I as a soft touch, but not when it comes to my home and sanctuary. If necessary tell him you have changed your mind about the contact as it does not fit in with a patient/ nurse relationship and you had a moment of weakness, but now know this should and shall not happen.