Is it my Fault???

bethem · Jun 5, 2006

Heres my dilemma. I will be starting nursing school this fall, so i deceided to take a job as a nurses aide at a local hospital. I have been employed for there for about 3 weeks. For 2 weeks I was oriented and the last week I worked alone. Tonight a lady died and I feel it is my fault. I wasn't her aide but I had gone into her room to bring another patient an ice bag. As I was leaving I noticed the womens color-she looked as white as a ghost-I noticed she was receiving blood-so I figured she was very sick-20 mins later someone else called a code for a non responsive patient. It was her, well to make a long story short, they worked on her for quite a while but she was gone. I knew she was gone she looked just like she did 20 minutes earlier. I should have said something to the nurse. I feel as though it was my fault. If would have said something earlier maybe they could have saved her. I can't forget this!! I think I should quit nursing school and my job as an aide. Obviously I made a fatal error. Does anyone else think it was my fault--please help-- I cant even eat or sleep.

How long had she been receiving the blood? I don't think she should have been left alone by her RN. I don't think it's your fault. Maybe if the RN knew earlier they could have started the code earlier, but don't blame yourself. DO NOT quit nursing school - how will you learn what the 'right' thing to do is if you don't go to nursing school? Obviously you care about your patients. I don't think that is a bad thing at all. Please don't beat yourself up.

Kymmi · Jun 5, 2006

No....I do not feel this was your fault. No one can say if the woman was dead when you was in the room the first time. You might have known had you spoke to the woman and she didnt respond however you said yourself that she was receiving blood and you thought she was very sick, maybe you thought she was sleeping. I feel that you are not trained to recognize the s/s of someone who is in a dire situation...yet....that will come with training and time. I think you are experiencing what alot of nurse experience when they lose a patient...there are many times I've questioned myself or have heard my coworkers question theirselves and think or say "could I have done more...or did I miss something?. I would not suggest you give up on your dream of becoming a nurse...you sound like a very caring and concerned person and that is what makes a good nurse.

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Jun 5, 2006

Of course it's not your fault!

You have not yet attended nursing school and you've been a CNA for a very short time.

You were not responsible for observing the patient--the nurse was.

In CNA school, they didn't teach us much in the way of reconizing s/s in patients, so I probably would have just assumed the woman was sick.

Please do continue onto nursing school--you will be an asset to the profession.

Good Luck.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2006

This patient was going to die even if you said something to someone about her being pale. She more than likely was pale and very sick before. You didn't kill her, it wasn't your fault. Be gentle with yourself.

LydiaNN · Jun 5, 2006

Put your guilt to rest! It is not your job to assess patients, and in all likelihood, the people whose job it IS to do, did so. Sometimes patients die, despite all our best efforts.

chrispicritah · Jun 5, 2006

Heres my dilemma. I will be starting nursing school this fall, so i deceided to take a job as a nurses aide at a local hospital. I have been employed for there for about 3 weeks. For 2 weeks I was oriented and the last week I worked alone. Tonight a lady died and I feel it is my fault. I wasn't her aide but I had gone into her room to bring another patient an ice bag. As I was leaving I noticed the womens color-she looked as white as a ghost-I noticed she was receiving blood-so I figured she was very sick-20 mins later someone else called a code for a non responsive patient. It was her, well to make a long story short, they worked on her for quite a while but she was gone. I knew she was gone she looked just like she did 20 minutes earlier. I should have said something to the nurse. I feel as though it was my fault. If would have said something earlier maybe they could have saved her. I can't forget this!! I think I should quit nursing school and my job as an aide. Obviously I made a fatal error. Does anyone else think it was my fault--please help-- I cant even eat or sleep.

well, you don't know if she was already like that, although i could understand you feel bad. it isn't anybody's fault. don't blame yourself for what you can't control. you are brand new and can't be expected to "know" these things. after 22 years i can look at someone and feel that something is wrong, even before going any further, because i developed a 6th sense about things. that takes years. it sounds like you have it also. but i would say in the future if something does not look right to you, then say something.

keep caring about others.

cc

soon to be retired on june 30 2006:balloons:

TexasPediRN · Jun 5, 2006

Everyone here is right. It was not your fault. You are new and you are not trained in CNA courses what to look for. This will all come in time during your nursing career. Please dont quit school- I can tell just by your post that you would become an excellent nurse- you have compassion, you care about what happens to your patients. We need people like you as nurses. Dont give up.

I'm sure everyone here could tell you a story of when they were an aide or nurse of something that went wrong. Its the health care profession, and unfortunantly, death occurs in this profession.

Dont give up!! Just remember from now on, if something gives you a funny feeling, speak up and let someone know. Even if it turns out to be nothing, it will set your mind at ease.

-Meghan :nurse:

NoWaNrN, ASN, RN · Jun 5, 2006

SO not your fault, the RN is responsible for close monitoring of a pt recieving blood.

WindyhillBSN · Jun 5, 2006

Put your guilt to rest! It is not your job to assess patients, and in all likelihood, the people whose job it IS to do, did so. Sometimes patients die, despite all our best efforts.

Exactly, you're only human. :icon_hug:

Chaya, ASN, RN · Jun 5, 2006

Sometimes the most painful lessons are the ones that will stay with us forever.

You have learned to trust your initial instinct-soo important in nursing.

Now just think about all the future lives you might SAVE as a result of this experience.:icon_hug:

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2006

You didn't do anything wrong. The woman was as white as a ghost because she needed blood. That's why she was getting a transfusion. I can't tell you how many patients I've had to give blood transfusions to who were at death's door. It's like this was one of the last measures to try to save them when it was pretty obvious that it wasn't going to work. Many of these were cancer patients.

Here is an example of a fatal error. . .going into a patient's room, getting ready to draw their blood, noting they are not breathing and dead as a doornail, walking out of the room and going to the next person on your list to draw blood without saying anything about the dead patient you just saw. Really happened. We saw the phlebotomist go in and out of the room. The doctor followed only moments later and came to us at the nurses station and calmly asked if we knew that the patient in that room was dead. Talk about getting up off your rear end real quick! The phlebotomist was fired for not reporting his finding. In this case, we had seen the patient alive and talking 15 minutes before all this took place. It was the patient's time to die. It happens and no one is at fault.