Is buying a present for a pt. appropriate?

fergus51 · Oct 31, 2005

I can speak from the other side of the fence on this issue. When my son was in the hospital, we were there a long long time. Anyway, my daughter's fourth birthday came around. One of my son's nurses came in for her night shift. A little later her husband showed up with their kids. Her kids gave my daughter a birthday present and cupcakes. It was the sweetest thing that someone has ever done for us and I will never forget her kindness. She had even made a birthday banner and hung it up in my son's room.
I guess you learn that things like that are not appropriate but I it is hard for me to find fault in it.

I think that's sweet. I would never find anything like that inappropriate. I think those of us who work in areas where we are with the same family for a long time make a different kind of connection. I never gave any gifts when I worked L&D or PP, but in NICU it's different.

NotremomRN · Nov 4, 2005

You need to always maintain a therapeutic relationship with all of your patients; as a nurse you have made a social contract with society. What is your therapeutic rationale for giving this man a bible? Follow the nursing process and review the Nursing Code of Ethics. You'll find your answer and then make the correct nursing decision. I trust you.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Nov 4, 2005

Go for it. I think it is a very kind thing to do, and I think it is appropriate. While some situations like working with a psych patient, or someone who could put you in their will might be problematic, I don't think this is one of those situations. I know many will not agree with me, but I really feel you could do a lot for the gentleman with this simple gift.

Gompers, BSN, RN · Nov 4, 2005

I agree that the book on tape sounds like a better idea for this particular patient. Also agree that maybe a bible might be inappropriate - even though you are both religious, it can be seen in other's eyes as pushing your beliefs onto someone. Maybe a book on tape of inspirational stories, something like that?

I'm in the NICU, and it does seem to be different here. For one thing, they're babies, and babies get presents all the time. We also have primary nursing, so we'll take care of the same baby every single shift we work for as long as the baby is admitted - which can be up to a year! So for the holidays or discharge, it's very common to exchange small gifts. Usually the nurse buys an outfit or something off the baby's shower registry - most of the time the gifts are less than 20 bucks. The parents often give gifts for the holidays or discharge as well - either they bring food treats for the staff (we've had pizzas ordered for every shift, etc.) or individual gifts for their baby's nurses who have been there for all those months. Usually it's stuff like a framed picture of the baby, a Christmas ornament, a nursing tote bag, etc.

Our nurse manager is aware that these exchanges go on, but as long as nothing is inappropriate or expensive, it doesn't seem to be a problem.

eclecticrn · Nov 4, 2005

This is tough.

Part of what lead me to become a nurse: Long, long ago, far away in another galaxy...I was a teen mom, entered hospital well into labor, was subject to hostile nurses yelling at me (yes, YELLING) and saying really awful and disparaging things relative to my age until MD arrived. Postpartum I was placed in a 4 bed room where none of the other pts would speak to me once learning my age. Luckily I spiked a temp & required a private room. Hostility from younger nurses continued, even the asinine hospital administrator came to my room to demand how I intended to pay my bill (!?!?!? I had blue cross/blue sheild. Was this harassment or what?!) One older nurse requested me as a patient for the last 2 days of my stay. She was kind, treated me with dignity, and presented me with an inexpensive necklace from the gift shop which she hoped would bring me luck. I've received many material gifts in my life, few as meaningful as that necklace. I still have and treasure that gift to this day. It was also then I knew I wanted to be a nurse, and help people the way I'd been helped.

Was that gift inappropriate? Any more inappropriate than the behavior of the other nurses? More inappropriate than the hospital administator's behavior?

Nonetheless, in today's litigious atmosphere, you gotta be careful about those zany acts of kindness- there's no limit to how a simple act can be misconstrued.

weezledawg · Nov 4, 2005

My nursing intructor claims it is absolutely inappropriate to give gifts as well as receive them from pts because we deal with vulnerable people and that oversteps the professional boundary of nurse/pt. HOWEVER, we are also taught that arranging for appropriate interdisciplinary contact is within our scope. If he is religious, why not arrange for an appointment from a chaplain, who could give the pt a bible? Since he is a quad and receives no visitors, he would likely appreciate this guesture. :kiss

Brotherbob, BSN, RN · Nov 4, 2005

It would be to cross a line, but we sometimes do. I would give it anonymously.

Chaya, ASN, RN · Nov 4, 2005

Mandykal has the right idea. Especially as this gentleman seems to have no-one except the staff there, it would be totally appropriate for him to receive a gift from "the staff", plural. You could see if anyone else does wish to contribute and maybe get him that Bible plus a (secular) book on tape. This would mean so much to him!

CrashRN5 · Nov 4, 2005

I believe that your gesture is very sweet and thoughtful. I am a RN and I am a patient as well. I was involved in an accident last September and am still recovering and they do not anticipate me going back until at least summer of 06. I was in the hospital last year for 2 months and became very close to the nurses on the floor. I have sent them gifts to the floor for all that they have done for me and have given things to one nurse in particular. Therefore, i dont believe it to be inappropriate however there is a fine line. you said that he is in a facility so i am assuming he has been there for a while and i am sure you have gotten to know him on a more personal level. I would go with what your heart tells you and not worry about what other people think. I think you are very sweet and i am sure the patient would enjoy your gesture....whether he knows its you or not. hope this helps a little.

GrnHonu99, RN · Nov 4, 2005

I have this one pt. who I really like very much. He is an about 80 y.o. quad on a vent and has been in the facility for years. His mind is so sharp and he so hungry for company, conversation and any kind of information, yet he has no one to visit him. He likes to read and he is very religious. Would it be inappropriate for me to buy him, say a really nice bible? I remember something being said in nursing school about receiving or giving gifts to/from pt's is inappropriate.... What do you think?

I dont think its a bad idea

worldtraveler · Nov 4, 2005

I have this one pt. who I really like very much. He is an about 80 y.o. quad on a vent and has been in the facility for years. His mind is so sharp and he so hungry for company, conversation and any kind of information, yet he has no one to visit him. He likes to read and he is very religious. Would it be inappropriate for me to buy him, say a really nice bible? I remember something being said in nursing school about receiving or giving gifts to/from pt's is inappropriate.... What do you think?

We all know in the "Perfect Work World" this is inappropiate. Anyone been to that Perfect World yet?? Go ahead and buy it and slip it to him in Privacy! Reminds me way back when, an elderly black patient in NC stated to me "I am dying for Chwin' Tobacco" she was like 95 yr. old and in pretty good health! She had been chewing for like 65 yr and going strong! Was it appropiate for me to buy it for her, of course not! Do you know what she woke to and found on her OB Table that afternoon?? Two Plugs of Bull Durham Tobacco! Next day she had a twinkle in her Eye that was was Priceless! The Real World!

truern · Nov 4, 2005

I am a person before I am a nurse.

My thoughts exactly.