Is there a balance?

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Hello everyone,

is there ever a balance. Are we expected to work until we have nothing left. Are we to be treated unfairly. I am mentally and physically discouraged. I work so hard and it never seems enough. As I cross one bridge it's like a mountain is a head. I remember going through school and thinking just hold on a little while longer things will get better. Well it's been several years later and I am still saying just a little while longer things will get better.:confused:

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Emergency.

I believe there is a balance, but it doesn't necessarily come easily. If a job is draining you to the point that you aren't happy, it's probably time to consider other options, but the beauty of nursing is that you have an abundance of different opportunities. If you're stressed out by the hospital setting, maybe you could consider clinic, public health, home health, long term care, or school nursing. If you don't like your particular unit, consider a switch to another specialty or to a new hospital. If you need a break in providing direct clinical care, look into research, telephone triage, etc.

There are nursing jobs out there that allow you to walk away at the end of the day and to have peace in your down time.

Best wishes!

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There is a balance (which is different for each individual), but you have to be the one to set and defend it. V. few employers will do it for you -- as you note, many will keep making demands and running you into the ground until you collapse -- if you let them. IMO, part of becoming a competent, experienced nurse, just as much as actual clinical expertise and knowledge, is learning to look out for your own best interests, set limits, and protect yourself. That isn't something people necessarily come into nursing knowing how to do, but it's v. important to learn for your survival. Best wishes!

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There is a balance (which is different for each individual), but you have to be the one to set and defend it. V. few employers will do it for you -- as you note, many will keep making demands and running you into the ground until you collapse -- if you let them. IMO, part of becoming a competent, experienced nurse, just as much as actual clinical expertise and knowledge, is learning to look out for your own best interests, set limits, and protect yourself. That isn't something people necessarily come into nursing knowing how to do, but it's v. important to learn for your survival. Best wishes!

An important part of being a functional adult.....something that many woman have a hard time learning. One most take care of oneself first, for no other is responsible.

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

It took me several years to add and combine two letters to my professional vocabulary, "no".

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Specializes in hospice, ortho,clinical review.
There is a balance (which is different for each individual), but you have to be the one to set and defend it. V. few employers will do it for you -- as you note, many will keep making demands and running you into the ground until you collapse -- if you let them. IMO, part of becoming a competent, experienced nurse, just as much as actual clinical expertise and knowledge, is learning to look out for your own best interests, set limits, and protect yourself. That isn't something people necessarily come into nursing knowing how to do, but it's v. important to learn for your survival. Best wishes!

I totally agree with this and I learned it fast. I used to have a bad guilt complex from way back, I've always had a strong work ethic, but what the hospitals demand?! Ludicrous.

I will do anything while I'm there, including working through my lunch. I had a meeting scheduled with an hour to spare, I asked the aides if I could do anything to help instead of just waiting to answer lights. However I will not come in on my days off nor will I stay to cover other shifts. I do feel bad if that filters down to other nurses to fill in the gaps, but that's their choice as well to say yes, or no. I'm barely handling the shifts/workload as it is. I'm sick of them asking, you'd think they'd get the hint. I suppose I'm going to have to be more blunt as the last few times I've had legitimate obligations.

Or come to think of it, I should just say no I can't, I'm sorry and be done with it. My problem is always feeling like I have to have a reason, I need to get over that part of it.

I agree that you have to make your personal life just as much a priority as it should be. Working in excess is not healthy, especially mentally. You have to be able to play and you have to make that time.

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"something that many woman have a hard time learning. One most take care of oneself first, for no other is responsible"

Truer words have not been spoken! I recall my mother being called selfish because she took time for herself.

Women have to take care of themselves, men have to take care of themselves, or else you cannot take care of others.

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Specializes in labor & delivery.

I keep wondering the same thing? Did I really go to school for this? Very disappointed to say the least.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

It's hard today finding a balance.

I myself have been an actual RN for two years now (but worked in hospitals in other jobs for 25 years now), and I still have not got a permanent position. It is hard relying on casual jobs, casual money (the worse part), juggling bills, and not really having a life. I'm trying to pay off debts, am behind with rent, and wonder what the future holds. Yes it is very depressing too. And I am what you would probably consider 'poor' in our society maybe.

But I think the whole depressed world economy situation has got people down.

I often find people don't have a life balance - I've never found my life balance. I envy those who have got that little bit of extra money to go get their hair done and can spend a bit of extra money without thinking about it; I can't do that.

For me it hasn't got much better but I have other skills to fall back on, so am not too worried (though I still lie awake worrying b4 I go to sleep). It's more young people I feel sorry for who haven't worked at all, and who can't find jobs.

I would say hold your head up, but I don't really believe things will get better very soon to be honest. You might want to think about training for another career or look for a different job just to get out of nursing for a while, & to give urself time to think. Cos in a year or so, I won't be in this position anymore either unless things change drastically for me.

Nursing isn't the stable career it used to be. And for the jobs I want, you need 2-3 degrees JUST to get a permanent job, like I haven't spent enough money doing study already.

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Specializes in Rehabilitaion.
It took me several years to add and combine two letters to my professional vocabulary, "no".

It took me a few years as well, but I finally learned. I don't know how many times I went to work on my days off because I didn't have any other plans. I now realize that is just the beauty of a day off, no plans, and that we need that downtime or we will burn out. This year I was on vacation to care for my boyfriend who had just had catheter ablation and work called me everyday to ask me to come in!! That sent me over the edge and really makes me want to say no automatically whenever they call to ask me to work! I love my job...I love my job...I love my job

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