Is asking to switch my preceptor in this scenario rude/wrong?

[brandnewicu]

Hello everyone, 

I have been on this website to look through posts and now I am a new graduate nurse and it’s finally time to make a post of my own. 
 

This is my first nursing job, and I am part of a nurse residency program. I have finished the didactic portion and I am now on the second week of my preceptorship on a MICU with a nurse on the floor. 
 

The first week I was paired with my preceptor. We don’t really get along much personality wise, and it felt like by the second day I was supposed to know all the skills but at the same time I felt micromanaged and like not really welcome to ask questions or just someone mildly annoyed. It made me feel nervous and stupid  I guess.
I think the bottom line is they are a serious personality and are a bit burnt out. I am basically sweet and sensitive and like to be friendly so it kind of makes the shift drag. 

By the second week I was switched because my preceptor took off. This person I got along with. They knew how many days I had looked over a patient and then gave me a very very simple patient and showed me how to chart everything and told me to ask if I have any questions. They brought me in for procedures and made me feel like I can do this and encouraged me. I really felt like I learnt a lot. The second day I got a more difficult patient and did a lot of procedures. 
 

I am just feeling like I am getting a better learning experience with the other preceptor. Maybe it is because her personality makes me less nervous and uncomfortable, and because she gives me more autonomy. I feel like my other preceptor we go hours without talking and it is just painfully awkward. But mainly, this isn’t just a comfort thing. It’s a learning thing too. Both have their quirks, but there is one clearly a better fit for me. 
 

so, the first preceptor is my “assigned” one and she is coming back from break next week. I wanted to ask my director if I can have more time with preceptor #2 but I don’t want to be rude, or make anything be catty between nurses. I just want a better learning experience for myself. I don’t want them to think “this girl is problematic” and I don’t want to hurt the other preceptors feelings ( although, I feel like they would think it’s a relief off their shoulders. They even told me they said it wasn’t a good idea to pair with me bc “they are leaving again and don’t want me to be switched around too much”)

by the way, I already asked preceptor #2 if it was okay with her if I stayed and she said ofcourse. What do you guys think? Should I speak up or just keep my mouth shut?  

[bitter_betsy, BSN]

So I did not read anyone elses response and I was/am in this position. I woke up every day - work day or not - and threw up at least once before leaving the house and usually again before pulling in the parking lot.  I hated my experience.  In one of my residency classes, I was asked how things were going. I felt the same as you.  After I opened my mouth, every other choice was made for me.  Do not ask if you can change. State that you have had the opportunity to experience both preceptors and you are getting a better experience from one than the other.  State what is working for you and why and ask if you can continue with a preceptor with that kind of style. don't think about trying to make it work.  don't hope it will get better.  Email NOW and state you need to set up a meeting to discuss your learning experience.  Do NOT make it about them. Make it about you and your experience and ways of learning with the new preceptor that are conducive to how you learn.  I waited until half way through.  I was counting the days I had left with her.  I was terrified of becoming a nurse but more terrified of another day with her.  Multiple nurses from the department told me the way she spoke to me was inappropriate.  It was -but I thought I had to deal with it.  I didn't and neither do you.

[Queen Tiye, RN]

Hello, congratulations on winning a residency spot.  As for your dilemma, I am  experiencing something similar.  With my first preceptor, half of the focus was on trying not to offend her and masking my aggravation.  I was not realizing my potential under her tutelage and I was behind on what I should be able to do independently.  The residents/ fellows in our program are temporarily paired with a second nurse for exposure to an alternate  way of nursing.  I am learning a lot from this second nurse and I’m moving forward  in a more meaningful way.  I requested to stay with this second nurse.  

It’s our responsibility to make sure we are competent and confident when the time comes to work independently.  It’s scary to speak up for yourself when you’re new and not wanting to make any waves.  However, placating feelings is not our responsibility.  It’s okay to respectfully voice that your second preceptor is a better match for your learning style — without placing blame on the first preceptor.  Good luck?.

[Katie82, RN]

It has always been the case that the powers-that-be feel that every Super-star nurse would make an equally super preceptor. Not the case at all. In fact, the very qualities that build super-nurses prevent them from being good teachers. The problem here is that you don't want to make too much noise. Someone in authority should periodically ask you for a little self-assessment. If it should be someone with whom you have a rapport, I would be honest and tell them that preceptor #2 is has given you a much more positive learning experience. Just be diplomatic. 

 

[SilverBells, BSN]

I had a similar experience in my first job, in which the first preceptor I was paired with and I just didn't connect.   Like you, I felt like this preceptor was very serious and had many of the traits of your first preceptor.   I understand the need that some things in nursing are serious, indeed, but working with this preceptor was a bit too much.   Meanwhile, on the days that I did work with her, I was paired with a preceptor that I did much better with.   I actually did ask if I could be paired with my second preceptor more often because I felt as if I was progressing more with her.  Of course, by then, it was too late.  The first preceptor had already said enough negative things about me to the point where it just wasn't going to be possible to influence my managers' opinions about me.  I would recommend that should you choose the approach in asking to work with a different preceptor  do it sooner rather than later.  Do it while you still have the chance to significantly progress during orientation.