Inappropriate nurses?

Nurses Relations

Published

So, I'm a Float pool nurse, and last night, I was pulling meds when a Staff nurse comes up to me. Without so much of a "hello", he snaps, "How many patients do you have?"

My eyebrows raise. "Are you Charge or Resource nurse?" I ask.

"No," he answers

"Then it's none of your business," I respond.

"I have five patients tonight. How many do you have? Are you taking any admits?" he continues to press.

"Again, it's NONE.OF.YOUR.BUSINESS. Take it up with Charge if you have a problem," I retort.

"Oh, I'm just making conversation," he sneers.

"No, you're being nosy. And I don't have to deal with it!" I reply.

I told the Charge nurse about her Staff nurse's wildly inappropriate questioning. Charge said that "she would deal with it. At the end of the shift, Staff nurse had not apologized for his behavior, so I emailed his manager about the incident. The manager did not email me back.

Would there be anything else you would have done?

What else would i have done? Certainly none of that. But i know what i would have done if i was the manager you emailed.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU / PCU / Telemetry / Oncology.

None of your business? Sounds to me like YOU are the inappropriate one. I guess me walking by your patient's room when you are in the med room and seeing he is about to fall should not be any of my business either? 😒 You are the type of nurse that makes it hard to work in a hospital 😒

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Operating Room.

I think emailing the manager was a bit much, but the male nurse sounds like one of those lazy nurses who is always concerned with what other people are doing, what their workload is or what their work hours are. It wasn't his business.

OP, I think you handled him just fine, nosy types like that hate it when you don't play along. Again, I think emailing the manager was a bit much, I'm quite sure she knows just how poor his manners are and how lazy he is. Unfortunately, people like that usually know how to game the system and they are often protected by management.

Just be happy you don't have to work with him all the time.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I think emailing the manager was a bit much, but the male nurse sounds like one of those lazy nurses who is always concerned with what other people are doing, what their workload is or what their work hours are. It wasn't his business.

OP, I think you handled him just fine, nosy types like that hate it when you don't play along. Again, I think emailing the manager was a bit much, I'm quite sure she knows just how poor his manners are and how lazy he is. Unfortunately, people like that usually know how to game the system and they are often protected by management.

Just be happy you don't have to work with him all the time.

What the what??? It's none of the OP's business????? It actually *is* the coworker's business. The coworker needs to know how many patients the OP has & if she or anyone else is getting admissions. Nothing the coworker asked was out of line or inappropriate.

I'm completely flabbergasted that there are nurses out there that think how the OP treated her coworker is ok or that the questions or the way her coworker asked the question was rude & put no fault on the OP. Just because the coworker didn't start with stupid pleasantries doesn't make that person rude. The OP was extremely rude by snapping back at her coworker when s/he was asking a work related question. The OP further made herself look worse by contacting her charge nurse & NM about the fact that *she* can't play well with others. Which is why she never heard back from the NM.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

OP......you asked for advice, and when pretty much every person gave the same basic response, you became defensive. But my take is pretty much the same. I apologize for being long winded here, but it seems to me that you mostly take offense at his approach, esp that he didn't even bother to introduce himself. As others have pointed out, your patient load isn't exactly meant to be secret. I can see where you might get defensive, since he just approached you without an introduction. However, to me, a touch of humor goes a long way. I'd have laughed, said "my name is ***, what did you say your name was"? If the humor/gentle sarcasm goes over his head, I'd respond with the number of patients and be done with it. In doing so, you're "chastising" him in his lack of niceties without coming off rude. By responding with raised eyebrows and "none of your business" you put HIM on the defensive, which has helped neither of you. If, when you tell him your assignment, he fussed over it you could have then reminded him that you don't make up the assignment and perhaps he should speak with charge. End of story.

Now, since that didn't happen, I wouldn't go right to charge. I've always been taught that in problems with coworkers, unless a threat of some sort is made, the professional thing to do is to reapproach that person later and try to work it out. Simply find a time when neither of you are crazy busy (even if it's after shift) and say something to the effect of "I apologize for jumping down your throat earlier. As a float sometimes you're given lousy assignments and I just assumed you were going to give me a hard time", or simply "I apologize for my earlier comments, I am just one of those people who likes to at least know the name of who I am speaking to". Then unless he acts in a threatening manner (note I didn't say rude) let it drop. Be the better person.

I know it's not easy to swallow your pride and admit you may have acted in a less than professional way. But immediately escalating it to reporting this nurse, you are only showing management that you cannot handle minor conflict with a coworker, which doesn't look good on you.

OR you could have avoided everything by stating"sorry I am

pulling meds and don't want to get distracted and possibly make an error" and be done with it. Even if everybody knows it's supposed to be a "quiet zone", he may have been preoccupied (or just obtuse lol) and needed a gentle reminder. If he pressed, simply say "please speak to charge, I really cannot be distracted now, but will help later on if needed".

I hope I've worded this in a way that does not provoke a defensive response in your mind. Because believe me, even after being a nurse for over 20 years I have made my share of poor reactions to coworkers,

and I still work every day at remaining the "professional one"! Not always easy since let's face it, we are all human.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

If I was the manager that received the email, you would be called into the office and we would have had the talk about team playing...WOW.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

What else could you have done?? Maybe grow a thicker skin. That's about the only thing I can think of...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I think emailing the manager was a bit much, but the male nurse sounds like one of those lazy nurses who is always concerned with what other people are doing, what their workload is or what their work hours are. It wasn't his business.

I highly doubt we are getting an unbiased representation of the other nurse involved in this scenario. You know how it is: there are three stories- his, hers, and the truth.

OP, I think you handled him just fine, nosy types like that hate it when you don't play along. Again, I think emailing the manager was a bit much, I'm quite sure she knows just how poor his manners are and how lazy he is. Unfortunately, people like that usually know how to game the system and they are often protected by management.

More assumptions about the situation, based on OP's retelling.

Just be happy you don't have to work with him all the time.

After this interaction, I'll bet he feels that way as well.

OP doesn't paint herself in a positive light in her retelling. Considering that her perception has colored how the story was told here, I'd be willing to bet that it was even worse than portrayed. I'm on team OP was inappropriate here.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Take a chill pill. Whats the big deal about asking how many patients you have.....

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Honestly I'm not sure what harm there is with the question. Maybe if he was being rude ore something but I've never seen a unit where assignments are a secret. I've been a nurse 20 years and there are WAY bigger problems than this in most hospitals.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I worked pool for a number of years. I would not have had such a chip on my shoulder. I would have answered. There is usually an assignment sheet that has that information anyway. The only inappropriate thing was distracting you while you were preparing meds.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Unless this nurse was a asking specific questions about your patients I don't see where any confidentiality was being potentially violated.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment