In a quandry, doctor difficulty

Published

I am a new nurse and have had a doctor complain about me being rude to management. In the first situation I made a mistake and was uninformed about some protocal and this doctor turned me in and said I hung up on her, which I had no idea that I did. I understand her being upset because of my mistake but now it seems like she has it out for me. She turned me in again for being rude on the phone and I have no idea what I did. I have pretty much decided to apologize to her if I see her but don't want to make matters worse or accentuate it. I don't even know what I did the last time. Help I am in a quandry !

Up Vote Up Vote ×

What do your coworkers say about this doctor? Is she a troublesome one who reports everyone? If that's the case just talk to her with your best pleasant personality from now on and don't worry!

If not, I'd try and speak to her and see what happened, see if you can't work out where you had the misunderstanding.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in FNP, ONP.

Is she lying? I can understand there being a degree of opinion on what constitutes "rudeness" on the telephone, but how do you hang up on someone and not be aware of it? That one seems straight forward; you either did or you didn't, and only the two of you know what really happened. You don't have to tell us, but you two are going to have to work it out. I'll tell you this, unless you are totally blameless and have witness that her behavior is simply unreasonable, you will probably lose this battle, so I'd be very careful about waging it. If you are in the wrong, make your mea maxima culpa. Otherwise, your days are numbered. She has power, you don't. Fix it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych/(L&D/NICU/LDRP)/OR/Med-Surg/CDU.

Simply guessing here, but I'm thinking that when the OP stated she didn't even know she did it, (hung up on the provider), what she may have intended to say was that she perhaps had either answered the phone, MD was on the line, and perhaps the RN couldn't hear her/poor connection/or else maybe, she spoke to this person and when finished, hung up, and the MD wasn't quite done talking...who knows?

I've worked with a tech who has poor phone transferring skills...on occasion he has hung up on somebody accidentally. Once, it was a case manager calling for me in the middle of the night; on another occasion, he tried to transfer an MD's call to me and wound up simply hanging up on the MD...in the middle of the night, no less!

In those situations, each person (1st time, the CM, 2nd time, the MD) thought they had been purposely hung up on, despite that tech having been polite as could be just prior to the botched "call-transfer-attempt". Regardless, they were each so mad (that a MERE "pee-on-tech" had the HALL TO HANG UP ON THEM, accident or no!) that they each emailed our supervisor, demanding to know why they had been hung up on!

Just FINDING our manager's email had to be FAR more complicated and onerous than simply calling back and ASKING the tech in question, "Excuse me, sir, did you intend to hang up on me, or was it a technical problem?" This is what I would do, and what "most" people without complexes would/should (IMO only!) do.

At that point, the BHT would no doubt have apologized and explained that our phones can be tricky, and he certainly meant them NO disrespect...

Your post smacks of an MD with a G-d complex and a NASTY ONE at that! I often wonder why it is these days that the self-esteem of persons who "should" be on top of the world, emotionally, is often so low that something as simple as a telephone error sets them off nine ways from Tuesday! This "doctor" REALLY NEEDS to get over him/her self and perhaps invest some personal time in a yoga or mediation class-for-the-suspicious-and-insecure! :0)

I'm not in the least trying to make fun of your predicament. I'm trying to point out that based upon your response to what you believe to be a doc with an axe to grind (on your head, no doubt!) Is normal, & they are the one with the TRUE "problem"...yours is only temporary...in other words, you only have a problem for as long as it takes for you to (very unfortunately) kiss their "tushy", do it as soon and as fast AND AS "genuinely"-sounding as you can possibly muster...then ensure you make them feel they are up on their pedestal WHENEVER you are interacting with them, so they never have to get their "wittle fewwings huwted", & I would imagine that given a bit of time, you will be fine in the future where they are concerned.

They, however, will no-doubt suffer from terrible bouts of paranoia and insecurity until they obtain some self-esteem (not too likely to occur, sadly) and realize that the world is NOT out to get THEM, personally, and that they, too, are susceptible to telephone errors by others. They may also hope to understand one day (again-not likely!) that there will also be persons who speak to them (as I'm guessing you likely did) from time to time in a manner that does not make them feel as if the universe is here to meet their needs, and their needs ONLY! (shame on you...what EVER COULD you have been THINKING, speaking to them as an EQUAL!?) :0)

Wishing you the best of luck. Remember, always be polite, courtious, (even, actually, ESPECIALLY, WHEN you are only talking to the janitor!). ALWAYS be honest, show your excellent morality and treatment of everybody, and have the utmost self-respect...if another person such as this "VERY-IMPORTANT-PHYSICIAN" ever questions your behavior, ALL of your co-workers and supervisors will KNOW who you are, how you consistently treat people, and will tell whomever is causing you problems just that, (& that they were CLEARLY MISTAKEN ABOUT HOW THEY "thought" you treated them!) and you'll be FINE! :0)

G-d bless you, and again, sorry this cruddy situation found it's way to your plate!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'd also suggest considering your behavior as objectively as possible. Apparently, I roll my eyes and make faces all the time when I'm feeling exasperated. I have no awareness that this is happening and think that I'm being totally bland and expressionless on the outside.... until I'm called out on it. It's something I try to work on, and I'm wondering if it's possible that some measure of this is happening to you with the doctor? Perhaps a combination of the doc being overly sensitive or easily offended and your nonverbal cues or tone of voice revealing some annoyance or frustration with the doc? Just something to consider.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.

Best route is to kill the doc with kindness. Next time you see her just say "I'm so sorry for any miscommunication and it won't happen again" and then make extra sure you are extra nice to her. I tend to have "b i t .." face at times and it's just my face, can't help it, so I really have to watch the nonverbal stuff. Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Kill her with kindness

Up Vote Up Vote ×

On my floor we have one doc that we always speak to on. Speakerphone with a witness because he has been known to give orders then deny giving them. Maybe you could try having the charge nurse call this doc for you if needed in the future or put her on speaker with a witness.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Room.

Agree- kill her with kindness, but DO NOT let her place blame on you for something you did not do. If you did not do anything wrong in the situation, you should most definitely stand up for yourself. In this job where we deal with so many co workers of so many disciplines it is really important to make sure you are known as someone who is not a pushover. This can be done in a very nice but firm way, but it is very easy to be taken advantage of, (especially by pushy MDs) and you need to make sure that doesn't happen from the outset.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion