In the 44 days since end of contract for me, I have.....

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

1: considering buying stock in Einstein’s Bagels. I’ve had an everything bagel and cream cheese most mornings (or actually what passes for my morning, as I am currently working the night shift.)

2: rekindled my heavy water drinking habit as I am no longer paranoid of dilute drug tests. I feel better already. I have certain health issues where the easiest remedy is staying well hydrated. Since we know IPN cares nothing about those things, I have spent years dragging from fatigue, eating Zofran like candy and putting my kidneys through the wringer to suit the whims and senseless edicts from that program. Merely 6 weeks on, my skin looks better, my chronic nausea has all but disappeared and I will be very interested to see what my lab work says next month. My doc should be happy. I never told her about this crap because I was frankly tired of explaining that which defies any rational explanation to people who don’t reside in monitoring-istan.

3: as mentioned in a previous post, I partook of a glass of wine. I did so only because I could and no faceless program was pulling my strings anymore. What did I think? Ehh..so-so. I could take it or leave it. Never had an issue before and suffice it to say don’t now. Iced tea, anyway for me.

4: I’ve started a workout program since I can now sweat all I want since I can drink all the water I want. This was a must do due to point #1 above.

Overall, I feel better physically. Now I have to evict the memories of monitoring from my head. Yes that crap is still renting space. Every bagel I toast...wow..poppy seeds, couldn’t have that before. Another bottle of water...wow...don’t have to worry about dilute piss tests anymore. 4am alarm goes off (the Fitbit buzzes...I just haven’t bothered to change it)...wow...no more check ins.

How do y’all who are out of this handle these things...or does it just take time...

[Big Blondie, ASN, BSN, MSN, APRN]

Oh I’m one year out October 13ish. Can’t even remember the date. And I’m over it. Monitoring that is. I got what I needed from it at the time. Now the best thing I got was off the opiate train. Yes I have drank alcohol but it’s not my vice. Just living the good life I should’ve had all along!

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Cats it’s always good to hear from you. You seem to be doing very well and that makes me very happy. I’m sure that everyday your life will get more “normal” after getting out of monitoring. You survived a long time in an Alice in Wonderland existence where the other side counts scalps which means you are resilient and tough indeed. Now live a happy life and show the naysayers exactly what you are made of. Like Sinatra said “success is the best revenge”. Good luck!!!!

[Rosa09]

Great to hear from you Cats, you have always been such a inspiration. I count the days, weeks and months to the end of my sentence.... 22 months to go.

[Wizard 1]

Great to hear from you, Cats. I have been out for a few years. It took me some time to get used to being able to eat and drink anything I want, to not worry about checkins, not worry about how much water I do or do not drink, not have to worry about hidden things in food that might potentially cause problems. I still count my blessings to be free of that.

[TexNurse777]

OMG I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Happy for you, Catsmeow. Do you feel you are in a better place now?

What encouragements and words of cheer can you share?

[KyBeagle, ASN]

@catsmeow1972 How are you handling not having to check in online every morning? I know you said that you’re able to go back to sleep... but has it ever caused a PTSD type reaction? Do you find yourself panicking later on because you think that you “ forgot” to check in? Or are you simply “over it”?

I have scheduled my entire life over the past 5 years around my 5am check in. It’s affected everything in my morning routine, including what time I arrive to work on test days. Luckily, I’ve had a very accommodating supervisor. Going on a weekend trip or vacation...MAYBE we leave at 5am & get an “early start” on the road OR, nah, we’ll just leave at 9am... depending if I need to be standing outside the lab’s door at 8am when it opens!

I’ve got 11 more days left, if my discharge is on schedule. I can’t wait to turn off that early morning alarm! I am one that the program HAS benefited; however, I am ready to delete the Affinity/Spectrum app on my phone!

Just curious how easy it was to acclimate to NOT checking in to Affinity. We’ve spent the past 5 years programming our brain that it’s basically a “do or die” requirement! How easy/difficult was it to be “deprogrammed”?

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

I’ve been on the night shift lately so I am awake at 4 am anyway. Even so, I look up at the clock and see it approaching 4 and a tiny part of me thinks “oh don’t forget to....” then I’m like nevermind. It’s like having to break a habit.
Next week I will be transitioning back to days (the night shift was an experiment...but it’s not good for my sleep schedule.) We'll see if I can sleep til 5.

I never downloaded the spectrum app purely out of spite. There is no way I was going to look at even an icon of that crap when I scrolled through my phone. I decided I was not going to let that utilize any space on my phone. I just went out to the affinity site instead. Convenience my tuchas. More like yet another means to remind us night and day of being under contract.

I have a real honest to god vacation scheduled next month. No worrying about finding a LabCorp or what have you. De programming is a pretty accurate description of the process. It does get easier every day though. I’ve had no life for the last 5+ years due to the stranglehold this has had on me. Now, at the age of well, past my prime LOL, I am having to figure out how to be sociable without feeling like I have IPN branded on my forehead. I’m getting there though, slowly but surely.