I'm starting to hate my patients...

jamonit · Jul 21, 2007

hi!

to me it sounds like looking into other departments is a good start. from what i understand, a lot of people suffer from burn-out, regardless of nursing specialty. taking the time to regroup and rechannel some of your feelings into some other area of your life may be useful. if i were in your shoes (and i feel like i have been) i would use some of my days off to work on a project that i've been putting off--maybe painting the house, planning a vacation, or even something easy like reading a book. nursing diagnosis: deficient diversional activities realted to i.c.u. burn out, as evidenced by nurse wanting to extend 'pillow therapy' to patients.

i know what i said sounds totally cheesy (the find a hobby stuff) but that, combined with looking into other departments would really help, in my opinion. maybe you can talk about this to your nurse manager/educator and ask for advice. just make sure you don't come off sounding like you want to smother your patients.

good luck in your ventures! :idea:

Icare4u2 · Jul 21, 2007

i totally relate to this because i've been in the same situation. some days you wonder what the heck you were thinking. it's also hard when you can't get people to understand you just care about what happens to them and aren't trying to be the bad guy. my husband, who is also a nurse, are fortunate as we can vent to each other when this stuff happens and we both know we aren't jaded-we are frustrated!! it's ok and i think changing the scenery by floating out to different units is a great idea. that's one of the great things about nursing-you can change from one area to another. oh, by the way, you are totally normal!! just remember the only behavior you can control is your own. good luck and if you need to vent more, i'll listen

Guitar_Heroine · Jul 21, 2007

I totally understand your frustrations. Maybe donating some of your expertise to organizations for the needy will help? I find it refreshing to work with people genuinely thankful for my care. I know gratitude is just the "icing on the cake" and we shouldn't expect it, but it's hard to take care of people who will be back in for something else because they refuse to change their ways. I deal with a lot of vascular surgery patients and after seeing them return again and again and still smoking or neglecting their diabetes, I feel that they should be required to go through the counseling and commit to lifestyle changes like the gastric bypass patients have to!

txdude35 · Jul 22, 2007

Thanks all for the replies. I guess one of the insidious things about diabetes is that they really don't feel sick until things start falling off, and those that have been noncompliant for years are angry and lash out at the easiest target besides their family. My wife is a PA whose approach to noncompliant diabetics is to kick them out of her practice. If only I could do the same...

I've actually been trying to join the Army Reserve Nurse Corps to go where I can truly make a difference in some kid's life, but they don't want me at this point- too many broken bones and orthopedic surgeries. I'm looking at my options (civilian contracts in Iraq, etc.) so we'll see what happens. In the meantime I make the best of it and spend as much time as possible on my motorcycle.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2007

You know, nursing is a "nurturing" profession. Patients often expect nurses to be kind, sweet and motherly when they are sick. And, in the ICU where you do more one-to-one kind of patient care you are expected to be able to put on a professional face and at least fake that you are interested in what they are saying and act like you are concerned. My mother was an ICU/CCU nurse for years and I used to get sick to death hearing patients and the other staff talk about how sweet she was. I knew the truth about what she was really like at home! But, this is what sick patients want. It's part of their sick roll.

You know, no one in this life is perfect. And, I daresay, that there are some things that you do that wouldn't pass muster either. It may be that you're just in the wrong nursing specialty. Maybe you need to explore other units. I recently had surgery and was surprised when I was taken to the OR and every single one of the nurses was male! Not one female in the room. It's a critical area too. Times have changed.

Hoozdo, ADN · Jul 23, 2007

The diabetic population in my area is about 3x the national average so there's a preponderance of these patients in my unit following complications- PAD, neuropathies, CABGs, heart caths, etc. and I'm sick to death of them whining and moaning about how uncomfortable they are lying still for hours post sheath removal, or how they can't have double portions on their meals, or how I won't let their family bring them snickers bars.

Yeah, I know how you feel. I like to use a bit of subtle humor with these patients. I would rather laugh than hate them. Sometimes my humor can be sarcastic also.......but that is better than hating the patients.

For the whining post sheath removal, I will offer them all the drugs I can give, assess them for any bleeding, hematoma, etc. In other words, I will do everything I can do before I would say "Would you be more uncomfortable pushing up daisies" or "How comfortable would you be with a femoral artery bleed watching your blood hit the ceiling".

For the Snicker bar or double portions person I would say "You are in the hospital in INTENSIVE CARE. Do you really NEED a snickers bar?" or "you are laying in bed 24/7, do you really think you need those excess carbs, calories, etc"

It's not therapeutic communication, but you will meet patients that are WAY beyond using therapeutic communication on.

Personally, I tire of DKA patients. I don't want to see them unless they are so acidotic that they are on the verge of intubation.

deeDawntee, RN · Jul 23, 2007

It is refreshing to me to hear nurses say these things that we all sometimes think. Do you think you are just over that "honeymoon" stage? Yes, I do think it is important that you learn to "fake" it, in whatever nursing situation you are in. But I do think what you are experiencing is common for almost all of us, and part of the process of being a nurse... you will come to really appreciate the few gems that come your way!! Hang in there.

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · Jul 23, 2007

I went through a patch like this recently. It seemed that I kept getting all the crazy patients, or at least patients with crazy family members. My coworkers even noticed it..lol. This weekend, I just asked if I could please have a break and get a group that seemed halfway normal. My coworkers are awesome, and I got what I asked for. One of my patients was s/w unstable, but I still felt more refreshed after this weekend.

Ask for what you need in a patient group. Your coworkers may be more understanding than you think.

NurseCherlove · Jul 23, 2007

I went through a patch like this recently. It seemed that I kept getting all the crazy patients, or at least patients with crazy family members. My coworkers even noticed it..lol. This weekend, I just asked if I could please have a break and get a group that seemed halfway normal. My coworkers are awesome, and I got what I asked for. One of my patients was s/w unstable, but I still felt more refreshed after this weekend.
Ask for what you need in a patient group. Your coworkers may be more understanding than you think.

That is so funny that you say that because I was thinking about doing just that the last time I worked. Like you, I recently had a bunch of crazies/drug seekers...add them to the hyper-needy (for whatever reason) folks and you have crappy day ahead (I work m/s). Conversely, I get a little peeved when I work 2 or 3 12s in a row and lose my "good" patients on the subsequent days.

txdude35 · Jul 23, 2007

You know, no one in this life is perfect. And, I daresay, that there are some things that you do that wouldn't pass muster either. It may be that you're just in the wrong nursing specialty. Maybe you need to explore other units. I recently had surgery and was surprised when I was taken to the OR and every single one of the nurses was male! Not one female in the room. It's a critical area too. Times have changed.

Thanks for your input, but don't misunderstand me- I love what I do, and could think of no other specialty that interests me enough to move. I've just had a rash of whiny patients lately and wanted to vent. I'm not perfect by any means, but I think you're right- times have changed and I'm not going to coddle my patients. I treat them with respect, provide the best care I can, and care deeply what happens to them, but I'm not going to coddle them.

Creamsoda, ASN, RN · Jul 24, 2007

I completely understand. I find the patients easier to deal with in ICU, well because they are mostly too sick to communicate. Its the families that piss me off. For example, the other day, I was helping code a patient---CPR was extremely tiring due to the sheer size of the person, came back to my area to grab my coffee to go get something to eat, when the family comes out and says...."oh he wants his teeth in". I say " he just asked me to take them out, and he doesnt really need them in right now"--keep in mind hes on bibap and cant eat anyway and the teeth were falling out into the mask....gross. They kept saying well he wants them in and were clearly upset that I was not attending to his "wants". I was so close to saying "well guess what...that patient in the next room was essentially dead and we just saved him, I think your husbands teeth can wait."

So hard to bite my tongue. My favourite patients are tubed and purposefully paralyzed. No matter how much we try to deal with family and the patients...they just dont seem to get it. I really should have become a vet. I can understand animals.