I'm sick of taking care of people who don't care

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I'm really feeling burnt out on taking care of people who are self destructive and have no interest in doing anything to make their lives and health better. I'm sick of a system that is like a big, enabling wet nurse to people who are going to go right back out and continue with all the bad habits again, only be back in the hospital to suck on more of the healthcare titty that puts them back together again so they can go out and continue to screw up their health some more. I'm sick of the total lack of responsibility I see every day I work.

I was talking to my stepbrother who is a chiropractor. His clients are a different group. They are interested in health maintenance and are motivated to improve their health through their own efforts. He's really doing something for people. I'm not. Sure, I have a good bedside manner and manage to connect with my patients and gain their trust. But basically I hate the American healthcare system totally and completely. At this point I'm a nurse only for the money.

Firestarter,

You have said what was exactly on my mind in the past month. I know I probably haven't been a nurse as long as you (only been 9 months), but I feel the exact same. I feel already burnt out. I have a compassion for working with others. I just don't know if this is for me..I work in a great unit (telemetry), great staffing, and "okay" co-workers..I just feel like I could be elsewhere..but I have always been told to try a different route..but is nursing for me?

I've just turned 21 so I have time to change..but Firestarter, thank you for this post. I randomly went to my email and saw this post. It has been an issue heavy on my heart.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.
Firestarter,

You have said what was exactly on my mind in the past month. I know I probably haven't been a nurse as long as you (only been 9 months), but I feel the exact same. I feel already burnt out. I have a compassion for working with others. I just don't know if this is for me..I work in a great unit (telemetry), great staffing, and "okay" co-workers..I just feel like I could be elsewhere..but I have always been told to try a different route..but is nursing for me?

I've just turned 21 so I have time to change..but Firestarter, thank you for this post. I randomly went to my email and saw this post. It has been an issue heavy on my heart.

I've been a little edgy lately. Time is shorter for me.

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Specializes in Operating Room.

Do I think all poor people are welfare abusers, living the high life off tax payer money? Certainly not, but there are plenty of them who do. And once again, I don't believe the OPs complaint was referring to the truly down and out patients who are truly helpless.

You might think I'm cynical, and uncompassionate but fine. I can live with that. I think more people need to call out the lazy, the moochers, the welfare cheats, and the just plain ignorant. There are many of us who didn't grow up rich, or who have health problems, or didn't have all the advantages growing up. We managed to make smart choices anyway. You can't expect people to continually foot the bill and feel the consequences of the stupid behavior of others, and then be surprised that they're getting sick of it.

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I live on a low income.

-It doesnt cost me any money to walk/run outside for 30mins a day and lift some weights at home.

-Eating healthy doesnt seem more expensive to me: fruits and vegetables that are one sale, brown rice, pototoes with the skin on, whole wheat bread on sale. I add wheat germ and bran to any white grains like pasta or pizza. The body can only absorb so much protien, I think 6-8oz a day-about the size of a deck of cards on your lunch or dinner plate-chicken on sale is inexpensive. Canned beans etc.

I can understand the frustration-treating and educating the same patients for the same problems over and over again and seeing no progress and even meeting with rudeness from them for trying. There is a lack of responsiblity in these patients and it needs to be solved. And the cost on all of us as tax payers for this waste of resources must be astronomical!! I understand that nurses are not to be judgemental and the idea of always trying to understand why someone acts destructively is important in solving the problem and treating the pt with due respect.

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One of my good friends, who works full time but whose husband is unemployed, has 2 kids and recently went on food stamps and medicaid (for the kids). The first month, she carefully planned her menus and was able to make nutritious meals for her family for the month on the pittance that they give her. The second month, her husband insisted on going to the store instead and bought more junk food, so they ran out of food in about 2 weeks.

Staple items such as beans, rice, and pasta are cheap and nutritious. Canned or frozen vegetables and fruits, which may or may not be as healthy as their fresh counterparts, depending on which studies you read, are not expensive. Most grocery stores put different cuts of meat on sale each week, if you shop the sales you can get good deals. Most people do not live in places where they cannot make it to a store that has sales, at least not in my area. You can trim the fat from the meat yourself. You can cut up the chicken yourself. The less processed food is, the cheaper it is generally. I can pay $7 for a bag of breaded chicken tenders and my family will finish it in one meal. Or I can spend $7 on raw chicken parts and have leftovers. I can pay $2 for a box of Eggos, or I can make twice as many waffles from Bisquick for about $2 or from scratch for about $1 and have some left for breakfast for a couple more days.

If I feed my family fast food, even off the dollar menu at McD's, I will drop at least $15 and usually more like $20-25. I know I can cook more nutritious food at home for much less and usually have some left over to either take to work or feed the kids for lunch the next day. Yes it takes more time but it is worth it.

As far as exercise goes, calisthenics and walking are free! And I've wheeled plenty of "low income" people out to cars MUCH newer and nicer than mine while they talked on cell phones nicer than mine and told me how the hospital cable sucks, they have so many more channels at home with their $200 satellite package (they don't share how much it costs but they don't need to, I know how much Dish and Direct charge). Some people have enough money, they just don't believe spending it on their health is a priority, they'd rather spend it on cigarettes, junk food, electronics, entertainment and car payments. I suppose that's their business, but I'm in total agreement with the OP who gets frustrated. I do too!

Thank you for that!!

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Thank you. I've learned from this post. I'm a CNA in homehealth, nursing student for only one semester.

I've dealt with non-compliance wiht meds and diet and exercise. Seemily necessary and costly doctor and hosptial visits and testing. Not nearly to the extent of most of you with your years of nursing experience.

A client who doesnt take thier meds as prescribed but complains that the doctor is dong nothing to help cus thier symptoms persist. Over medicating as well. Resistant to helping the spouse change thier diet. Not enough follow though or follow up with doctor instructions, poor communication between doctors. I have elderly clients with memory issues.

Ive seen alot of progresss in these areas which is great. But I feel like a nagger instead of an encourager. And I feel frustration and even ...hate to admit it, judgemntal thoughts. But its not my place to judge, right? What if I wasnt there to remind and "nag" how would they do on their own wiht healthy choices. Am I instilling good habits from within? All I can do is advise what the doctors and PT and nutritionists advice. Give positive reinforcement-w/o sounding condescending. It is their choice. Maybe they want to die earlier and enjoy thier lives now instead of live to be 90 and completely demented and/or in pain. They are often in denial-the meds and thinking about what they need to do to get healtier is a drag on the day which is already tough when you are old and reminds them that they have health issues.

Bottom line: I've seen alto of progress in willingness to get healtier and be med compliant and I think a lot of it is intrinic in them right now. I dont like the negative feellings I have towards the client when I see self destrcutive/non compliant behavior. I guess I have to look at the postive and push negative thoughts out-everyone has their reasons for thier behavior, habits develeped over decades are hard to break, I have to stay postive and friendly and encouraging.

Thanks again for your posts that helped me and for being able to vent and not be judged! Its great how nurses are supported here for thier right to express their frustrations w/o being judged. Really impressed with the intelligence. compassion and professionalism of the nurses here.

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I do not feel educating someone about the consequences of their actions is judgmental at all. It is a caring action to make the time to educate any patient.

Judgmental would be how you feel when they choose to continue the same lifestyle with no changes and then you become mad at them. I do not mean to sound preachy about it. I get frustrated also. I have to internally tell myself not to personalize it.

It is ultimately their choice in what they do with the information they are given. We do not have to like it, we do not have to agree with. We plod along continuing to do the best for our patients as we can. Ultimately we have no control of it. The only control we have is over ourselves and our own attitudes.

That was well put. I have to remember that.

How will things change in our American sociey? We have higher incidences of obesity, heart disease, diabetes, sedentary lifestyle that other nations. How will it stop? I'm sure healthcare workers are making a difference bit by bit getting the word out about healthy living. And eduducating the young must be the most effective way to do this. What are those other conutries doing that we are not? This self destrutive behavior must be so taxing on our economy. If we had universal healthcare would it make people take more preventative measures for their health?Then again in many states the poor are provided wiht medicaid and have free access to medical resouces-does that make them more responsible healthwise, take more preventatvie measures?

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I have read a lot of posts where nurses stated they have repeatedly taught their patients and motivated them. How have you motivated them? I have found it very hard to motivate people. why don't you assess their understanding of their disease upon readmission and then help them set the goals. The goals have to be theirs. Maybe you don't understand their home life or they can't do all that you are telling them so they do nothing. Maybe we need to reevaluate how we are teaching these patients and take the time to find out their goals.

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I am so happy to find your thread. I have been a nurse for a year now and I am already feeling this way! It's so frustrating that patient's don't get it. I feel so useless. I try to stay positive and remind myself that no matter what I truly care of my patients. Even the ones that don't seem to get that they are the reason they are sick to begin with. Some days are easier than others. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. Eventually I think I will look into wellness!

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Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.
I have read a lot of posts where nurses stated they have repeatedly taught their patients and motivated them. How have you motivated them? I have found it very hard to motivate people. why don't you assess their understanding of their disease upon readmission and then help them set the goals. The goals have to be theirs. Maybe you don't understand their home life or they can't do all that you are telling them so they do nothing. Maybe we need to reevaluate how we are teaching these patients and take the time to find out their goals.

One of my favorite sayings is, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears". Even though patients hear over and over again what their illness requires of them, the time will come when they really hear someone, and a note is struck that motivates their compliance. The reason for that, isn't that the other voices weren't heard, but that the chorus came together as one voice, at the point that they got it. Sometimes what they get, is that they want to live healthily and longer!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Hey, I'm living proof of that---actually, it wasn't a voice so much as a set of numbers that finally got through to me on the issues of food and weight. The number was 516. As in my triglycerides. After 30 years of battling compulsive eating, I saw those digits in black and white, and suddenly I knew with complete certainty that something TERRIBLE is going to happen to me, and within this next five or ten years, if I don't change what and how much I eat.

That was two weeks ago, and I swear everytime I even think about eating something fatty or sweet, that number pops into my head, and that's the end of it. Ironically enough, since I changed what I was eating I've dropped eight pounds already and feel like I've detoxified my body. Who knows...........maybe a few more pounds down the road I'll feel like doing some exercise or something. Lord only knows where THAT could lead. But the lights are on, and at long last, somebody's home!

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Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

I used to really work myself up trying to get people to do the right thing, but I don't even bother any longer. I have worked through my co-dependent stage. I try to educate them and give them as much information that I can but in the end they have to make their own decisions. They are adults and they have the right to **** up their lives if that is what they want to do. I don't work in rehab and I am not a counselor so it is not my job to rehab them. And as far as money being spent on them, I had rather have my money be spend on health care rather than on a war, even if the people who receive my health care dollars are not serious about taking care of themselves.

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