I'm scared ~ please help !!

P_RN, ADN, RN · May 12, 2003

Now that he is feeling its effects, do you think he would listen to you and see the doctor again?

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · May 13, 2003

I am very, very sorry about your father. I can only imagine how you are feeling seeing him go through this. What occurs with severe aortic stenosis is something called compensation. The body tries to compensate for the decreased blood flow through the aorta by enlarging the left ventricle. An enlarged left ventricle is very dangerous--the heart is not able to beat as efficiently and the electrical pathways may be off. Once the heart enlarges, to a certain extent, it will stay enlarged. This is called cardiomegaly and is very dangerous. Sounds like he already is in an extreme emergency. Is there anyway you can get him to go to a cardiologist?? Perhaps you can get your minister or another family member to go talk to him.

CVnurse08 · May 13, 2003

Thanks for replying but all of our family has tried extremely hard with my father. He sees a cardiologist yearly and goes to our PCP every 6 months just so he can keep getting his blood pressure meds. And every time he goes both of them tell him straight out that he is going to die. That really does not help me any to hear that. He is just really strongly against such major surgery. He thinks the surgeon is, in his own words, going to "plop his heart out on a table, fix it, put it back in, and then shock him back to life." I know that it is major surgery but I really think something bad is going to happen to him. What eventually will happen ~ a stroke, a heart attack, or what ?? And like I asked before do you think it will be too late then to do the surgery ?? Just a general, honest opinion would be very helpful. Thanks again.

renerian, BSN, RN · May 13, 2003

My dad was stubborn to get help too. He did not survive. I am sorry your having to watch that.

Hugs,

renerian

Katnip, RN · May 13, 2003

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I don't know if you and your family have tried a different approach? Instead of telling him how badly this is affecting him, do you talk to him about how hard it is on all of you? Sometimes a person will get a procedure to put the family members at ease. Or just to shut them up.

Other times there's just no talking to them. In that case you will have to try to learn to face this somehow. Not easy, I know. But you've got a lot of caring support here.

{{{Hugs}}}

CVnurse08 · May 13, 2003

Thanx again for your replies but I am still curious when my dad does eventually "take a turn for the worst" what will happen ~ a heart attack, stroke, or just cardiac arrest ?? And will it then be too late to do emergency surgery ?? I know that every person is different but like I said a HONEST general opinion would be very helpful. Thanx a lot again for your support ~ I really need it ~ keep it coming please !!

plumrn, BSN, RN · May 13, 2003

It sounds as though your father could suffer heart failure, or have a heart attack at any time. If he does, he will likely have pain or discomfort unrelieved by rest, increased shortness of breath, or sudden death. If he does survive, he will most likely be very weak, very short of breath, and unable to tolerate activity.

My heart goes out to you.

My father is suffering from kidney failure, and is also very stubborn. He does not see the Dr except when he has to, and doesn't tell him everything when he does. I know he is only making matters worse. We have all pleaded with him, but ultimately it is his choice. He doesn't like going to Dr's offices, and he absolutely dreads all the neverending tests.

It is very hard. I'm so sorry you are also suffering.

Pete495 · May 13, 2003

Hi there,

I have taken care of several patients who have had aortic valve replacements, and many of them do very well. I tell everybody that Heart surgery by any means is not a routine procedure, but it is more common than it used to be, even for much of our older generation. If you're father is young, I would tell him to go ahead and have it done, but I don't know about how old he is. I also do not know his history, because his history can mean a lot. I can say for sure though that if he doesn't have the surgery done, something will happen, and he could make it worse for himself in the future.

By your description, it sounds as if his heart is already failing. If you wait too long, his heart will be become weaker, and it will eventually hinder his quality of life, esp. if he has the surgery done. Also, I think it is better to have it done when one's heart is stronger. We just did an aortic valve replacement on a lady who wanted to give birth to a child of her own, but couldn't until she had her aortic valve replaced.

If it does come down to an emergency situation, emergency personnel can be very persuasive, and my bet is that he will end up having it done in an emergency situation. Aortic Valve replacement does require the use of the heart and lung machine, and this sometimes has complications, such as renal failure, stroke, heart attack, and infection among others. If you're wondering will he ever have a quality life after heart surgery, by all means I think he could depending on his history. We have done a lot of aortic valves, and had a lot of good outcomes. Yes, sometimes this surgery requires one to be on blood thinners for the remainder of one's life, but if the patient is old enough, they may use a tissue valve, and that would not neccesitate the long term use of blood thinners.

I hope you make the right decision for your father and your family

Pete495

Pete495 · May 13, 2003

I just wanted to add that your father could suffer from any of the situations that you mentioned. It is impossible to know what he really could suffer from though. He could have a stroke, heart attack, or he could end up being treated in a hospital multiple times for heart failure. If I were to bet on one, it would be the latter, only because aortic regurgitation due to aortic stenosis in his case is probably a progressive disease, meaning if it is not fixed, he will only get sicker. The downside of this is that it can often be a long, hard, & burdensome process. Sometimes getting sicker slowly is more painful for a person, but then sometimes it give you more time to prepare for the inevitable. You and him need to be the judge of that. That is why I think to have the surgery done sooner is better because he may start to feel better after the surgery is done, and his quality of life would hopefully improve. Hopefully this helped a little more.

Pete495

ratchit · May 13, 2003

It is so frustrating to watch people make decisions we disagree with. Especially such a big decision with such severe consequences.

Would your dad consider even meeting with a CV surgeon to get more information, with no pressure to schedule surgery? Or how about attending a cardiac patient support group (run by many hospitals) to help teach him how to live with and manage his symptoms?

CVnurse08 · May 13, 2003

Thanx again ~ once again ya'll have given me the support I need !! Today, my dad is feeling much better and it is days like this that make him refuse the surgery. I really do think that it will have to come down to an big time emergency ( his heart fails him ) and him laying in a hospital bed with no other option, or him being unconscious, one of the two, before he has the surgery.

For those of you who were wondering how old he is, he is 60.

Like I said he was diagonsed with this condition about 5 years ago and I can definitely see it has gotten worse since then.

I really posted this thread for support because the more I learn about nursing the more I think about my family's health and it is scaring me. Pleease keep the much needed support coming !!