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I'm never primarying again, y'all

NICU   (10,020 Views | 61 Replies)

elizabells is a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

18,630 Profile Views; 2,094 Posts

You are reading page 3 of I'm never primarying again, y'all. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

RainDreamer has 13 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

3,570 Posts; 12,713 Profile Views

(((((HUGS)))))

I really have no words of wisdom or any advice that can fix this. Just know you and this whole situation continues to be in my thoughts and prayers.

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prmenrs has 42 years experience as a RN and specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

2 Followers; 4,565 Posts; 32,582 Profile Views

Liz--can you think of a way we can help you not burn out? You're too valuable to waste, girl.

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Sweeper933 specializes in NICU.

409 Posts; 6,203 Profile Views

Liz--can you think of a way we can help you not burn out? You're too valuable to waste, girl.

I have been going through a similar thing w/ the primary that I have been taking care of lately. He has some chromosomal abnormalities that have in turn caused multiple abnormalities. It seemed like every other day we were finding out new things that are wrong with him. Not to mention that his parents just moved to this country not too long ago so they don't really have a support group outside of the hospital. They have been leaning on the nursing staff a lot, which has made things difficult. We have gotten social work involved... etc....

A few weeks ago I started feeling rather burnt out from taking care of him 4 nights a week and she stated that taking a break one night a week (or whatever else was neccessary) was perfectly fine. It felt good to just take care of a few "feeder growers" for a night.

Anyway - my real reason for posting was to say that on nights where I feel like I'm having just a horrible night and don't know how I'm going to make it through, I go back and re-read the Funny/happy NICU moments needed post and I always make myself laugh a few times. While our job definately has it's more serious moments, there are lots of lighter ones as well. I always feel at least a little better after reading those again!

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RainDreamer has 13 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

3,570 Posts; 12,713 Profile Views

A few weeks ago I started feeling rather burnt out from taking care of him 4 nights a week and she stated that taking a break one night a week (or whatever else was neccessary) was perfectly fine. It felt good to just take care of a few "feeder growers" for a night.

That's actually a really great idea! If there's any way you can just take a break for even just one night ..... that might help keep you from burning out so quickly.

((((hang in there))))

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elizabells is a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

2,094 Posts; 18,630 Profile Views

I did it! Last night I went in, he was my assignment, but his other night shift primary was there too. So I let her have him. I survived, he wasn't magically fixed (thus proving he's not sick because I'm a bad nurse, not that it's good he's still sick, obvy) and we all got through the night. Now, I'm not strong enough to let the orientee have him tonight (partly because his parents know I'm back and they would FLIP), but it's a step, right?

Thank you guys so, so much for all your support. And prmenrs, just you all being here and listening has helped me so much.

I forget who made the suggestion, but I decided to go to a movie this weekend. I'll probably go by myself, but again, it's something.

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259 Posts; 4,562 Profile Views

I find this so sad. Where is someone to stand up for this baby's rights? Obviously the parents are unable to make it because of their religion but as you stated, this baby is suffering. It's such a sad situation. I hope someone steps in and allows this baby some peace (even if that means death). :o

I am so greatful that when we had to make that decision that I was strong enough to do what was best for our son. I would have kept him alive in any fashion for myself but I had to do what was best for him. :o I wish your parents could see that. :o

Any questions to be answered from someone who has been the parent please feel free to PM me.

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6,620 Posts; 14,414 Profile Views

I'm glad you asked for a bit of a breather:) The sad truth is, if you couldn't find the strength to do that, then changing specialties won't help you. You'll wind up quitting nursing altogether because you'll get burned out anywhere you go unless you learn to take care of yourself. I really hope you continue to do this. It would be a real shame for tomorrow's babies if such a dedicated NICU nurse were lost.

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MA Nurse specializes in NICU, Telephone Triage.

676 Posts; 9,933 Profile Views

I did it! Last night I went in, he was my assignment, but his other night shift primary was there too. So I let her have him. I survived, he wasn't magically fixed (thus proving he's not sick because I'm a bad nurse, not that it's good he's still sick, obvy) and we all got through the night. Now, I'm not strong enough to let the orientee have him tonight (partly because his parents know I'm back and they would FLIP), but it's a step, right?

Thank you guys so, so much for all your support. And prmenrs, just you all being here and listening has helped me so much.

I forget who made the suggestion, but I decided to go to a movie this weekend. I'll probably go by myself, but again, it's something.

Good for you. Sounds like you needed a break, it's ok to take one!:balloons:

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elizabells is a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

2,094 Posts; 18,630 Profile Views

Once again, you guys rock my socks.

And it's amazing - I had one great night with him last night, and I feel completely rejuvenated. I walked in, he'd been on 100% FiO2 since noon. My 2000 cap gas had a CO2 of 144. So we went from 47 to 50 on the amplitude (he was put on the oscillator on Tuesday). From then until 0200, his saturations just kept drifting. From the low 90s when I arrived to the high 60s at that point. I had the most useless resident possible to deal with, and the fellow was with a parent who was withdrawing support on another child. So I was pretty much on my own. I gave him a PRN dose of morphine (on top of the Fentanyl drip they finally put him on - which on my unit is well nigh to a miracle - we ONLY use drips in the first 24 hours following cardiac surgery), did his trach care, and thought his trach ties were a little loose. So I tightened them up, did some wicked chest PT and suctioning, and within 5 minutes his sats were back in the 90s. On my 0400 gas, his CO2 was down to (drumroll...) 79!!! Which is the lowest it's been in weeks! By change of shift I had his FiO2 down to 50% and he was still satting 95. I'm not a terrible nurse, y'all! I know he's still not going to get better, and I know, obviously, that it's not all about me, but that helped my spirit so much.

In terms of mom, I think I made a little progress. She asked me what the effects of prolonged high CO2 were, as it's been over 100 for a number of days at this point. I was very frank with her that the longer he stays like this, the more neurological and end-organ damage he'll suffer. She's a Special Ed teacher; she knows what that means. At this point (although I'm not sure she knows this) his pupils are fixed and constricted most of the time. When he does open his eyes, he doesn't track at all. She said the reason they keep going is that she doesn't want to meet him in heaven and have him ask her why she didn't do everything she could to save him. What on earth do I say to that? :o

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prmenrs has 42 years experience as a RN and specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

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"...What on earth do I say to that?"

I don't think I'd say it, but I'm thinking, "what if I meet him in heaven, and he asks me why did you let me suffer so long." I know I wouldn't say it.

Seriously, I think he would say, "I love you, Mom (and Dad). You did the very BEST you could for me. Thank you!"

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259 Posts; 4,562 Profile Views

"...What on earth do I say to that?"

I don't think I'd say it, but I'm thinking, "what if I meet him in heaven, and he asks me why did you let me suffer so long." I know I wouldn't say it.

Seriously, I think he would say, "I love you, Mom (and Dad). You did the very BEST you could for me. Thank you!"

Exactly. Sometimes it's not about doing everything you can to save them. It's about doing what is best for them. :o Two completely different things. :o

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elizabells is a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

2,094 Posts; 18,630 Profile Views

I don't think I'd say it, but I'm thinking, "what if I meet him in heaven, and he asks me why did you let me suffer so long." I know I wouldn't say it.

That is, of course, exactly what I was thinking. My charge nurse actually told me I SHOULD have said that, which makes me really worried about my charge nurse.

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