I'm not asking anyone to lie or contribute to a fight but...

missmina · Jan 18, 2012

Sorry about the paragraphing...for some reason it won't stay in paragraphs! Help? Maybe it's my phone's doing...

mazy · Jan 18, 2012

I don't know about the trauma you are referring to but I do know a thing or two about intransigent parents, having had a pair myself.

I'm not sure you will ever bring your parents around to your way of thinking. I don't know much about your living situation so I'm assuming that you are living with them? Are you financially dependent on them?

My experience with my parents is that they wanted me to do things a certain way for no other reason than that they were heavily invested in me doing things THEIR way. So in my case there was absolutely nothing I could bring to the table that would have convinced them otherwise.

Because ultimately the dialogue wasn't about the job or the studies at all, it was about who had the control and the power, and they wanted to make sure it was them.

So if I could have found a way to convince them 100% that a CNA job would be a straight ticket to being President of the United States, or a billionaire humanitarian/philanthropist/CEO/Nobel Prize winner, or maybe married to one, they would have opposed it, just because it wasn't what they wanted me to do.

My impression from this post is that you have a plan and you are aware of your limitations and strengths. Is there any way you can do this and limit your parents' input? Or, better said, your parents' meddling?

By the way, I ended up doing things my way. It was harder than I could have anticipated but I'm a lot happier for it.

rocketberger · Jan 18, 2012

well first off i know the feeling of having you told your parents what to do and what not to do with your life, i dont know in your case but some parents tend not to listen to what their child wants to do. cause they throw you all of this b***s**t that "im paying for your college now do what i tell you!" well you really cant convince a parent that is as hard as a rock or maybe after 10 years they'll give up on you, im not saying that your parents are like this but anyways what i know is if you could work as a CNA you could have lots of networks to hospitals that are offering tuition reimbursement in exchange for you working for them in a span of time. and being a CNA lets you experience working with a nurse or a physician, then you could decide if whether or not your fit to be a nurse.

btw im sorry if the grammar, punctuating spacing paragraphs are wrong, im just to LAZY to notice them :) well good luck to you and best wishes!! :)

missmina · Jan 18, 2012

Thank you for your replies! I totally understand what you mean, mazy. My father is exactly like how you described your parents, but mostly because he is obsessed with the (very traditional version) of the American dream. Nothing wrong with a nice house or a good career, but disliking those who, say, have kids before nursing school or are older career changers is silly. But your being happy about your choices is encouraging! Same with your entire response rocketburger. Once I can get a job, I can distance myself more (my grants cover my tuition), but they're just nosy people. However, my mom is more understanding. Whenever I seek advice from people in the field, she takes note of it, so when I said my NP's daughter is doing the same plan as me, she stopped nagging for a while! So perhaps this is more for the benefit of my mother. My father just believes his American dream plan is universal, so I may just give up on changing his mind. Still, I'm sick of him thinking that a high degree in nursing with little experience will illicit respect while reading that "NPs with no bedside experience" post!

DowntheRiver · Jan 18, 2012

Your parents most likely will come around one way or another. My mom is the same way. I am going to school to get my ASN. My mom wanted me to go for my BSN. There is no other option to her. Getting my RN and then getting my BSN after two years just doesn't sit well with her. She didn't understand that I applied to traditional BSN programs and didn't get in. Not only that, she doesn't understand that experience is also necessary to get a good nursing job these days! However, the first ASN program I applied to I got into without a wait list. She'd rather me keep waiting and applying to different programs. She said she wasn't paying for my ASN and that is that. She wouldn't even co-sign on my loans. My dad just declared bankruptcy and as much as he supports me he can't co-sign. I wanted this so badly that I asked my soon to be father in law to co-sign on my loans and he did. Strangely enough, he seemed proud that I was going back to school, moreso than my own mom. Sorry to get sidetracked - anyways - my point is I think that you should do what will make you happy in the end. If you've researched it and know what you want go with it.

hudabelle · Jan 18, 2012

So you're getting your CNA? Not your RN? Are you saying you will have to take the RN classes at a later date? RN classes being those needed just to take the NCLEX not the full Bachelor's part of the BSN. The only caveat to waiting is that if you have already taken your science prerequisites they "may" expire before you're ready to go back to RN school. Most colleges (around me in WA state) say the science courses are good for 7 years and some only for 5 (only one I know of doesn't let them expire and that's the hardest school to get into). My A&P classes are about to expire for many of the schools around me and it is stressful (I had a baby and took some time off studyng, plus working to pay for bills--- I don't know, creditors and landlords like getting paid for some reason :)).

One thing that's important... You need to take care of you. If you think you will be burned out and hate it you might need a break. If you burn out and hate it then you will have a job you resent and will have spent a lot of time and money towards soemthing you don't want. I wish you the best. It's a hard decision for sure.

2bEsqtoRN · Jan 18, 2012

My honest opinion:

Graduate with your B.A. in English-->get employed in the health field or related B.A. field dependent on job market (keep in mind you'll need to take a 2-4 week course for your CNA certification in NYC)--->work, save your money and take prerequisite classes needed to obtain your accelerated BSN--->profit on both time and employment potential.

This route, dependent on what classes you will need to gain admittance into an ABSN program shouldn't take you more than 2 years. In this job market, especially in NYC, many require BSN over an ADN. You can get your BSN in 12-16 months v. ADN in 24 months with better job prospects and mobility once you enter the nursing field.

Definitely go the BSN route if you can.

FLmomof5 · Jan 18, 2012

Honestly, as a parent and an older new grad....

If you are paying your own way through school then inform them of your plans. When they disagree, state that you respect their opinions, but you feel this is best for you.

However, if THEY are paying for your education, you should include them in your plans and if they state that they don't want you to pursue your education in that fashion, offer to get student loans or scholarships and pay for it yourself. When someone pays your way, they have a say.

aboucherrn · Jan 18, 2012

It sounds like you know what you should do. I have been a nurse for 13 years, have a pretty darn good resume, I obtained my BSN, and my father still thinks I can do better. You really do have to do what is best for your life and health.

Side note... working as a CNA will help you tremendously if you decide to pursue an RN degree. You will get a real-life view of patient care that you just cannot get while in school.

No matter what..don't give up the writing... if that is your true passion, find a way to keep it a part of your life!

Good luck :)

missmina · Jan 19, 2012

So you're getting your CNA? Not your RN? Are you saying you will have to take the RN classes at a later date? RN classes being those needed just to take the NCLEX not the full Bachelor's part of the BSN. The only caveat to waiting is that if you have already taken your science prerequisites they "may" expire before you're ready to go back to RN school. Most colleges (around me in WA state) say the science courses are good for 7 years and some only for 5 (only one I know of doesn't let them expire and that's the hardest school to get into). My A&P classes are about to expire for many of the schools around me and it is stressful (I had a baby and took some time off studyng, plus working to pay for bills--- I don't know, creditors and landlords like getting paid for some reason :)).
One thing that's important... You need to take care of you. If you think you will be burned out and hate it you might need a break. If you burn out and hate it then you will have a job you resent and will have spent a lot of time and money towards soemthing you don't want. I wish you the best. It's a hard decision for sure.

This response was so helpful! I had no idea that credits expired after a certain amount of years, to be honest. I'll definitely have to make sure what the limit is, but thanks! And I really would be heartbroken if nursing was turned into something I hate because of circumstances...

missmina · Jan 19, 2012

I'm finishing prerequisites this upcoming semester while declared English, so more saved time after my B.A.

FLmomof5, I totally understand what you mean and you got me sitting down and thinking about it. However, the only thing my dad really does is fill out FAFSA every year and let me live in his apartment building (which will soon change). The grants I receive cover all of my tuition and the only thing he is saying is that he will pay for nursing prerequisite books and not English books. I never planned on either of my parents paying for my BSN and I've told them (I'm trying to find the cheapest opinions possible, such as tuition reimbursement, the Kings County/LIU collaboration, loan forgiveness, etc), but my dad has said if I complete nursing as my first degree and expenses or loans are needed, he'll pay them. So overall, he'd rather pay more to have his way.

And wow, 13 years as a nurse and still that kind of response? Perhaps I should focus less on changing their minds. For example, I've been telling them that I want to pick up Spanish again and expand my knowledge of ASL so that I can communicate to and help more patients; if they can't see some kind of dedication in that, then I don't know what to do. But I do like hearing the various advantages to nursing as a second degree/CNA before RN; they'd be nice to tell friends (especially ones already in nursing school!) and other members of my family.

Thank you all for the responses, they're insanely helpful. And writing is a lifelong hobby; this Creative Writing degree will never go to waste, even if it never helps me get employed.