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If you've ever cried at work...

Posted
Katie5 Katie5 (Member)

Did you feel better afterwards?:cry:

zuzi

Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

I am sorry Katie that was happend with you...yes I cried... but what you need to know is crying at work here has totally another meaning than in any other parts of world.

I remember that i cried because people was rude with me, I cried because the truth was twist, and I cried when my first patient here in US died and I cried when I took care of a nice man with a nice family and the Dx came back...are dufferent type of crying...BUT... all of them has bad meaning here.... A WEAK nurse, unable to control her own emotions... and is very BAD.

People around you will use your weakness and take advantage of it...... please don't cry at work....Yes you fell better after because you will see thinks in another way after.....

But if you cry closed to me always I will give you a hug.... just because I could fell your pain in the soul, but I am not like others...... so don't cry!

Medic09, BSN, RN, EMT-P

Specializes in ED, Flight. Has 10 years experience.

I have been reassured of my humanity.

Yes, I cried at work when I had to withdraw care for the first time on a patient. I held it together for the family, but as soon as I got the family together, I cried like a baby in the room with just the pt and myself.

Nobody knew I cried at work unless I told them. I believe in trying to be professional at all times. If I have to cry, then I do it away from coworkers and away from families if I can help it.

Hoozdo, ADN

Specializes in ICU, Research, Corrections. Has 15 years experience.

Some of the most touching experiences I have had as a pt was because I had sympathetic nurses and doctors, ones that cried. My transplant surgeon cried over my bed after I woke up in PACU - that was remarkable.

I had an ICU nurse cry with me when my Mom had to be intubated. We both thought she was going to fly on Bipap - but not to be.

I guarantee if you cry with a pt or family they will NEVER forget you.

bill4745, RN

Specializes in ICU, ER. Has 15 years experience.

Many times. Once with an end-stage renal pt, entire family and I hugged and cried. Recently in my ER with a nine-month old cardiac arrest (accidental suffocation). We were all crying.

Yes, I've cried at work. I have cried with families when their loved ones die, in fact with my last patient death (work hospice, so see it A LOT) I bawled like a baby at the bedside with my arm around the wife.

We're human and we see a lot of cruddy stuff that the rest of the world doesn't see on a daily basis. I think crying is therapeutic and reminds us that we are doing a really difficult job.

I don't mind crying a bit with family, but I HATE it when I get peeved at my bosses and cry in the office...not in front of anyone, but I know it is perceived as weak. Thank goodness it doesn't happen very often.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I've cried at work numerous times - and yes, most of the time felt better afterward. I've never gotten through a fetal demise without crying but also cried after my first code, and after taking care of several patients that garnered a special spot in my heart.

Once, while my brother was in Afghanistan, I got a piece of particularly distressing news in the time between leaving work that AM and coming back in that PM. The news was so heartwrenching, it was all I could do to hold it together to come back in to work. Wouldn't you know it, I started writing down report, my pen ran out of ink, and I freaking lost it. My coworkers were more than understanding...just to make the point that it hasn't always been over patient care that I've cried at work.

Edited by ElvishDNP

Absolutelty. I have cried with the family at the bedside after their loved one has died. I have cried when just walking past the ER room of a young mother who had just lost her 10 month old son d/t accidental suffocation while he had been at daycare (my son was almost exactly the same age and I ran to the break room to call my son's daycare and check on him...just because.) I have cried by myself and with my coworkers after particularly stressful events while in the ER. I have cried after leaving a shift at work where I just knew that due to forces outside of my control I hadn't been able to provide for a suffering resident as well as I thought I should have.

In LTC my residents are, of course, a professional relationship but when you work with the same people every day for weeks, months, and years you get to know them and even if they are "residents" to you, you are often "family" to them. Sometimes you are the ONLY "family" they have or know. When one of them goes you can't help to feel some pain and I believe that most family members take some solace in that. They often have misgivings about having to place their loved ones in a facility anyway and, from my experience, they are often relieved to know that you took your job personally enough to actually care ABOUT and not just care FOR their mom, dad, spouse, etc...

Never lose control to the point that the patient or family feels the needs to comfort you- it needs to be the other way around, but surely we can't be expected to put aside our humanity and if I ever find that happening in myself I will find a new line of work.

meluhn

Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c. Has 16 years experience.

I have cried at work after arguing with my daughter before work when it was still on my mind. I have also cried after a pt died when I saw the family crying. I sometimes tear up when I see a little old man or woman doting on their spouse of 50 years who has had a stroke and just isn't the same anymore. Its the love and loyalty they show that gets me, not to mention the loneliness they must feel. Or when I DC a pt I have taken care of for a while that I like. I have also been so overwhelmed at work that I feel like I might cry. In all of these cases I try to hold it together because I feel stupid and like I should be stronger.

I have cried at work after arguing with my daughter before work when it was still on my mind. I have also cried after a pt died when I saw the family crying. I sometimes tear up when I see a little old man or woman doting on their spouse of 50 years who has had a stroke and just isn't the same anymore. Its the love and loyalty they show that gets me, not to mention the loneliness they must feel. Or when I DC a pt I have taken care of for a while that I like. I have also been so overwhelmed at work that I feel like I might cry. In all of these cases I try to hold it together because I feel stupid and like I should be stronger.

This always has a soft spot in my heart,It's humbling to watch:)

iteachob, MSN, RN

Specializes in OB, NICU, Nursing Education (academic).

Absolutely! In my days in the NICU, I cried on a number of occasions. I still get misty eyed when witnessing birth.

AlabamaBelle

Specializes in Peds Critical Care, Dialysis, General.

Yes, I have cried at work.

We, as nurses, are witnesses to the most intimate moments of life - when a baby is born and we hear that beautiful first cry and when we gently ease someone through the next door to heaven or whatever you perceive the afterlife.

I am there when a child dies. It makes no difference if the death was "expected" (our frequent fliers with what we know is a time limiting illness) or "the unexpected". I cry with the families, hugs are given if the family so chooses. I perform my duties, but with tears on my face. I have sat after my shift rocking the small one, singing, until the funeral director comes to take the child away.

I cried when the mom of a child "fired" me. In reality, it had been exactly one month since my precious mother died. Did others see - most definitely.

I have also cried in my nurse manager's office, along with my ANMs. We've known each other for fifteen years. The issues are many, but the shoulders have always been there for me. Her office is a safe place to fall apart.

If I can't cry, I will need to re-evaluate my humanity.

One day I was in practice, I had to make a control to a healthy baby boy aged 1 year and 7 months, but the problem started when I learned that the child was accompanied by her mother's neighbor, I could not make my assessment as befitted besides the lady was very rushed, in fact you do not want the general physical examination and segmental, as well the baby was restless, he behaved very badly, I tried also to undertake the EEDP, but was so distracted that I could not carry out, then me a little nervous, I forgot to refer the child to the nutritionist as she was obese, had it not been for my teacher would continue without the slightest care for them. At the end of assisting the less, I vent to my companions, they listened to me but the teacher resented the way I express, and sheer helplessness and rage broke into tears, I was comforted by one of my classmates, all of this I dislike enough situation that the monitoring was not conducted in the best way was not as effective.

My experience is attached to the care of older adults who are abandoned by their kin and this in turn leads to decay in them and thus provoke strong emotional wear and caregivers are linked romantically with them. Among the practices that made a nurse must provide assistance in relation to those users with these problems you see what your help to solve the problems they are helping to overcome their emotional problems.

worst thing would be to express their feelings and not hide these because one does not focus on the patient and poor delivery care

RhiaRN75, RN

Specializes in ER.

I've cried a good number of times at work, it doesn't make me feel better or worse.... it just is. Some situations strip away your defensive wall and the only proper thing to do is cry a little.

I've only cried once because I lost my temper. The situation had a good ending but I hate losing control. To me, crying and losing control are not necessarily the same thing.

sistasoul

Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

I have only been a nurse a short time. I worked in LTC for 5 months when I Graduated last year. Evert time one of my little old Peeps would die I would cry. Most of these people did not have family come visit them and you truly do become like family to them. It was always so sad to me when they died because I knew they had children and I would never see them visiting and were not present when their parent passed.

I have worked on a med surge floor for 6 months now and have cried quite a few times. Just last night I cried because of being overwhelmed (went to the bathroom to do this). Another time was when I had an elderly man who came up from Florida to visit his son and fell down upon arrival to the son's house. This man broke his hip and never recovered.

Last week I had an elderly lady from a nursing home who was unable to swallow and was NPO with TPN running. She also had C-diff, MRSA, etc. She did not have any children and her husband was elderly and not in good health. I had an infectious disease Doc order an NG tube for this poor soul as a last ditch effort to get VAncomycin into her PO. I had another nurse come with me to show me how to insert this tube. I thought why are they doing this to this poor woman? I was not successful in trying to put the NG tube in.The more experienced nurse could not get it in her either. I had tears streaming down my face as I seen the distress this was causing this poor soul. I kick myself now for not questioning the Doc about this order. My gut was telling me she would not be a good candidate. Thankfully this woman was put on CMO and died 2 days later.

Also, when people passed in the hospital that I had taken care of I had cried. If I see family members cry it makes me cry. I had one man singing hymns to his wife as she was dying. Other nurses tell me I will get "used to it". I always say, "The day I get used to it is the day I leave nursing".