If the backstabber tells you what you did and informs managment, is that backstabbing

[Bala Shark]

Hi, I graduated last year...I got reported many times in the past and lost jobs...Now, I am fearful of every co worker I meet..I dont trust no one...I am sometimes very defensive and hostile in a way to my co workers..I guess it is a defense mechnisim..

I was wondering, if a co worker tells you what you did, and then informs manangment, is that still back stabbing?

Also, every reporting, never dealt with patient safety..

[caliotter3]

Bala

You're in home care now. You need to learn how to relax or you will never make it through the years. Just go to your cases, do your shift work, do your documentation and turn it in on time, be cordial and friendly and helpful to any other nurses on the case, and that's all you can do. Yes, there are backstabbers in home health but they are easier to avoid than at a facility. If you give yourself sleepless nights worrying about them, you will eventually self destruct. The best way to defend yourself from backstabbers is to give excellent nursing care, gain the good will of the patient and the family, and be courteous and responsive to your office personnel. I'm beginning to really worry about you. Lighten up and good luck.

[Bala Shark]

I am tired of backstabbers! I never ratted a person out ever!

[caliotter3]

Your description of someone telling you what you did and then running to tattle to management is an example of someone who is letting you know that they are your enemy. You are right in not being so easy going with your trust. Never present your back to a backstabber and you have less chance of getting stabbed in the back. But you still have to relax, so you can do your job.

[Bala Shark]

Your description of someone telling you what you did and then running to tattle to management is an example of someone who is letting you know that they are your enemy. You are right in not being so easy going with your trust. Never present your back to a backstabber and you have less chance of getting stabbed in the back. But you still have to relax, so you can do your job.

I enjoy life, I am going to forget this.....

I remember my first job, I had to pass meds to 50 residents in a LTC..Because of the work load, I forgot to dispense and over looked one single medication..Then I got backstabbbed by a co worker and fired..

[DaFreak71]

In my opinion, a backstabber is someone who acts all nice to your face and then goes reporting you secretly behind your back. The fact that she confronted (for lack of a better word) you would make me not think she's a backstabber. Maybe she didn't get the impression that you were taking her concerns seriously and felt she had an ethical duty to mention it to the powers that be?

I can totally understand feeling mistrustful of others, having experienced similar situations myself. Is it possible that as a result of developing a defensive attitude (as a form of self protection) that she picked up on that and that is why she thought you weren't taking her concerns to heart?

Either way, I sure hope your situation improves soon! If I had a suggestion on how not to let this get under your skin, I'd definitely share it with you!

[suanna]

I know I'm in the minority but I would prefer someone with concerns about my care go to management. I'd prefer, unless it's a minor issue, they not confront me personaly. I have no desire to defend my actions to my peers. Once they take it to the boss it's the thier job to decide if the complaint is valid and what action to take. If they told you up front they were going to make a complaint- they are more forthright than most and deserve some credit for it. As professionals we have an obligation to report unsafe practice to a supervisor- I'm not saying that this is the case with you but you've not given me much to go on. Trust your coworkers? If you trust YOUR care and can support YOUR actions then it shouldn't matter much that your others do- It's not like you were going to form a close frienship with them anyway.

[loricatus]

If that person did not tell you that you were going to be reported to management, I would consider that backstabbing. Also, if the coworker's intention was to inform you of something that could be reported, or needed correction on your part, and you gave the impression that you learned from your supposed error/action/inaction & were still reported, you are probably dealing with someone who is probably trying to cover up some of their flaws by putting the attention on you. Now, if with this same for instance, you dismissed what the coworker was saying and the impression given was one where the coworker was truly concerned that the supposed error/action/inaction interfered with the potential for patient safety or safe nursing practice, the coworker would be justified in talking to management. Basically, there are too many variables to give you a clear cut answer if this was backstabbing.

I, too, haven't & wouldn't rat out another; but, have had to deal with those that try to 'get me.' Just the other day, my break coverage tried to pin a medication error on me, although I told her in report that I was holding something pending a clarification of orders and the need for an additional medication order due to a change in the patient's condition. When I came back from break the NM was on top of me with the incident report filled out from the nurse who did my break. I calmly told the NM what happened and then immediately pulled the documentation to verify my position. I then told the NM that if she wished to file the incident report, I will be making one up on both her and the nurse that covered me. That ended it & the saga continues each and every shift. What saved me is documentation and foresight. Think ahead of what these X@$%&)^! can try to do and stay one step ahead of them; and always, I repeat, always, CYA. I have gotten to the point that I expect it & am not phased by it. In fact, I am pleasantly surprised if a shift goes by without something. It's all about controlling your attitude-stop making yourself miserable and plan ahead.

[Bala Shark]

I know I'm in the minority but I would prefer someone with concerns about my care go to management. I'd prefer, unless it's a minor issue, they not confront me personaly. I have no desire to defend my actions to my peers. Once they take it to the boss it's the thier job to decide if the complaint is valid and what action to take. If they told you up front they were going to make a complaint- they are more forthright than most and deserve some credit for it. As professionals we have an obligation to report unsafe practice to a supervisor- I'm not saying that this is the case with you but you've not given me much to go on. Trust your coworkers? If you trust YOUR care and can support YOUR actions then it shouldn't matter much that your others do- It's not like you were going to form a close frienship with them anyway.

I seen nurses forget to pass a medication out..Due to the fact there is one nurse to 50 patients in a typical LTC..Would you report this? From your statement it would seem like you would..

I never did rat a nurse out becuse of this because I looked at the circumstances involvled..

A DON once told me that everyone misses a medication from time to time, EVERYONE...It happens...

[Bala Shark]

If that person did not tell you that you were going to be reported to management, I would consider that backstabbing. Also, if the coworker's intention was to inform you of something that could be reported, or needed correction on your part, and you gave the impression that you learned from your supposed error/action/inaction & were still reported, you are probably dealing with someone who is probably trying to cover up some of their flaws by putting the attention on you. Now, if with this same for instance, you dismissed what the coworker was saying and the impression given was one where the coworker was truly concerned that the supposed error/action/inaction interfered with the potential for patient safety or safe nursing practice, the coworker would be justified in talking to management. Basically, there are too many variables to give you a clear cut answer if this was backstabbing.

I, too, haven't & wouldn't rat out another; but, have had to deal with those that try to 'get me.' Just the other day, my break coverage tried to pin a medication error on me, although I told her in report that I was holding something pending a clarification of orders and the need for an additional medication order due to a change in the patient's condition. When I came back from break the NM was on top of me with the incident report filled out from the nurse who did my break. I calmly told the NM what happened and then immediately pulled the documentation to verify my position. I then told the NM that if she wished to file the incident report, I will be making one up on both her and the nurse that covered me. That ended it & the saga continues each and every shift. What saved me is documentation and foresight. Think ahead of what these X@$%&)^! can try to do and stay one step ahead of them; and always, I repeat, always, CYA. I have gotten to the point that I expect it & am not phased by it. In fact, I am pleasantly surprised if a shift goes by without something. It's all about controlling your attitude-stop making yourself miserable and plan ahead.

That is good that you will not rat anyone out...I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but you are okay..

It must be hard deaing with people who are out to get you..

[TazziRN, RN]

telling you about a mistake you made and then going to admin about it is not backstabbing unless the confrontation was done "nicely" and the reporting done with malice. and all mistakes deal with pt safety, in one form or another. missing a med, no matter what the reason, does have the potential of affecting the pt, if the med weren't needed for something, it would not have been ordered. i agree with you that overlooking a med one time doesn't warrant terminatin, however......bala, you have the history of not taking responsibility for anything that happens to you. everything that happens is always someone else's fault, you didn't deserve it. when you keep getting reported for things in each new position you get, it's time to step back and take a good, long, hard look at yourself and try to figure out what you're doing wrong in general. i would be willing to bet that if the write-up from the first termination were examined, there would be more to the story than just overlooking an inconsequential med.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

If you are getting reported many times, losing jobs and are hostile, then the problem is more likely you yourself and not others or "backstabbers" and people aren't "ratting you out. Sounds like you're looking to blame others.

Take an honest look at yourself.