So I currently work on a cardiac telemetry unit, which is not considered a stepdown where I am. It's a travel nurse position which is what I signed up for, but once I'm done with travel I want to transition to critical care, ideally a CCU or CTICU. Have also considered the ED.Last night I had a patient that went into sustained VT, we ran to the room to find him sitting up in bed, totally asymptomatic and pleasant (!!!) ... Long story short, he was transferred to CCU. Since I've been on this unit it is the 3rd time one of my patients has had to be upgraded to CCU. When I transfer the patient, I always kick myself for not starting out in CCU or critical care. I always seem to feel like I am not good enough of a nurse to take care of sicker patients, it's like I feel defeated, like saying "You are not capable of taking care of this patient, you are so basic, let's take them to a nurse that CAN." The thing is, I WANT to be the kind of nurse that does not need to escalate patients to other units. I want to be that nurse that takes care of the sickest patients. I want the skills and the knowledge they have.I was just starting to study for the PCCN but this empty feeling has left me wanting to work in a cardiac ICU and pursuing CCRN instead. I feel like getting a PCCN is like saying I'm not good enough for CCRN and that professionally I might be pidgeonholing myself into acute and stepdown territory permanently. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I do.Also, I seem to find a LOT of ICU positions want critical care experience already, which I don't have, and I also see a lot of new grads getting into ICUs frequently now, so what is an experienced med/surg/cardiac tele nurse to do? I feel like no one will give me that chance. I did interview last summer with a CTICU, tried to transfer when I was staff but didn't get the job. It was then when I decided to start traveling.I'm currently on my break and thought I'd rant a bit about how I've been feeling since yesterday. Sorry for the brainstorm. Thanks for reading! I welcome feedback.