I want to rant.

I just want to rant. I don't care much about the negative comments, the "oh poor you" pity party, or the suck it up stuff I will probably receive from more experienced nurses. That I can expect to receive. Let's be real: nurses are hard on others. Sometimes they mean to be loving in the best way that they know, or through harshness, or through tough love. Othert times they are just mean.

I have been a nurse since 2014. I have worked in the following areas: pediatric medical foster home, Cardiac ICU, Pre/Post Procedural care, and Cath Lab nurse/tech blend.

I have been recently fired from my job in the cath lab after sleeping through alarms. During COVID-19, I was frustrated, because I thought it was my phone needing fixing - and there was little I could do. No one would be able to fix my phone in these times! What was I to do??

I was so fixated on that. Then I realized after buying a traditional alarm clock, setting my Fit-Bit watch alarm, along with my iPhone alarm, that I realized that I was just sleeping through my alarms , because I was just exhausted... mentally, physically. I was just done. I was on my last straw. And so I was fired.

Along the ride of this: I had to find new housing because one roommate caught the 'COVID crazies' (she had actually convinced herself that I was out to get her, harm her / hurt her). Another housemate lost her job. I successfully found a new place in a highly dense/ metro area within the same day of receiving notice that my roommate no longer wanted to live with me. The incredible people I have in my life have helped me tremendously. Through the grace of God I have wonderful friends. My dad also was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in this COVID time. I could not visit him - it would be unwise. It would not be smart to visit him nor any family members while I worked in a highly dense area / metro hospital - which had also adapted to COVID via reconstructing entire unit floors to receiving COVID positive patients. It has been a scary time.