I am in tears! (long)

luv4nursing · Dec 16, 2003

I could have written the post myself! Keep that chin up and just let your actions speak louder than your words. You will show here instead of waste time talking to a wall. Im going through the same thing. Im 23, and have been in and out of college over the last several years, and never got serious about school till deciding I REALLY want to be a nurse. It took me over a year just to retake all the classes I failed at 18 and 19 and repair my gpa to something acceptable.

Well I moved to FL where my sis lives and have been here for a year and this whole year Ive been trying to get into nursing school but always a day late and a dollar short!:) Instead of supportng my decision, she has spent more time trying to bring me down and telling me I should find another field. I DONT WANT another field, I want to be a nurse. She would even say "I dont know WHY u even want to be a nurse" and then go on to list all the things she wouldnt want to do. This is the same person who said about a year ago if she had it to do over she would have went to nursing school instead off law school. She has a friend who is an RN and makes more than her. she works for the state so she doesnt make the big bucks u expect a lawyer to make, and has a LOT of Student loans to pay off.

Luckily, now that Ive gotten into LPN school, she has come around. I will go on the be an RN but this is my stepping stone. In a way its really the rivalry thing, because she is labeled the "smart" one in the family and I guess she wants to stay that way and be the only one with a career and education.....but thats siblings for u!

dont even sweat it...some ppl speak before they think and dont know they hurt others feelings, my sister is the blunt type like that. Just keep on trucking it, you are on your way up,up,up, !:)

sprtbikegrlsv65 · Dec 16, 2003

I don't totally agree with the fact that she is jealous. my mom was GREAT when i graduated high school! i started nursing right away, and life got in my way so i dropped out. i've always paid for my own schooling so it wasn't like i was wasting her money. now 5 years later i'm ready to go back to school for nursing again, but she keeps saying things like...nurses work wierd hours, your going to hurt your back, why would you want to go away to another state for school...blah blah blah...and only after i talked to her a few days later did it really dawn on me...she's scared because her little girl is growing up! and moving on. we finally came to the agreement not to discuss school unless she had something positive to say!

your sister may not be jealous...she may just be scared that her lil' sis is a big girl now!

just my opinion!

mattsmom81 · Dec 16, 2003

and congrats on your achievements and your setting of goals...they are YOUR goals...NOT your sisters.

It hurts when family downplay our hopes and dreams. Perhaps she is NOT as supportive as you have thought. Jealousies happen.

You are wise to form your own support system based on what others give to YOU. Sometimes family is NOT a supporter..they have their own agendas, as mentioned.

Good luck and best wishes in your studies!!

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Dec 16, 2003

Dear Friend;

I am so sorry that your loved one caused you this pain. Whatever her reason, you are smart to keep your head

up and your plans on track. Be proud of the training your are completing. One day, you will make a difference in so many people lives.

Keep coming to this board whenever you need to vent. Keep us informed of your progress. We are proud of you.

P.S. Happy Holidays.

Chaya, ASN, RN · Dec 19, 2003

Yeah, a lot of people don't "get" nursing, period. But YOU do; that's what counts. Stick with it (for yourself, not her). She'll come around.

redshiloh · Dec 19, 2003

TALK to her....she might have a different opinion now that she's had a little time to think about what she said.

Sometimes people say things without thinking. At this time year family is so important...so talk!

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Dec 19, 2003

First of all, Miss JKm... (((HUGS))) to you.

I'm thinking your sis sees in you her failure to persue her own dreams and goals.

It is always easier on the "self" and far less threatening to one's own ego to blow off another's persuit of happiness and their successes than to face themselves in the mirror.

Her disappointment in SELF she now projects onto you in the form of disinterest, eyerolling, discouraging words, and other forms of ego-protecting defenses.

It's not YOU she doesn't love... it is she herself she doesn't love right now. And this is the only way she knows how to cope with these mixed emotions. It may get better, it may get worse... all depends on her ability(or lack thereof) to be honest first with herself.

If she cannot do this, she will never be able to be honest with you. Sad ...

Put all that aside... is is not a matter of not loving you. Recognize it for what it is and that you are responsible for YOUR choices alone... she is responsible for hers.

While it hurts, do not dwell on it. It will only serve to distract you and slow you down. It is wasted emotion, wasted energy.

You keep GOING ! And going strong.

WE are all proud of you and WE are behind you 100%.... and collectively, we have broad shoulders for you to lean on or cry on when you need to, and a GREAT BIG FOOT to kick your hiney back on track when you stray off the path to your goal !

Consider the source of her actions/reactions then accept it as something you cannot change... you stay in charge of your OWN actions ...and keep on !!! :kiss

grouchy · Dec 19, 2003

Years ago, my older brother and sister made me feel awful about my college plans. They were much older than me, so at the time I believed all their put-downs and criticisms. It took me years to realize it was just sibling rivalry. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't let them get to me. I don't ... now! ;-)

When I decided to become a nurse, I was dating a guy who said "Why do you need a college degree to empty bedpans?" So many people don't understand what we do, and how much knowledge it takes to do it. And that includes some nurse's aides. They know we talk on the phone and chart things. They don't realize that when we are doing that maybe we are using our extensive knowledge base to make sure a doctor doesn't order a medication that's harmful to a patient, for example.

My father was the first one in his family to go to college, right after WWII. He came from a family of illiterate and semi-literate factory workers and truck drivers. They weren't really supportive of him. But then his Mom spent the rest of her life bragging about him to the neighbors, etc. So, you never know how things may turn out!

No matter what your sister thinks of you, you will have so many patients that will appreciate you, and you will feel so happy you did this when someone says to you "Thanks for taking such great care of my Mom".

Don't worry about the money. There are so many hospitals that will help you pay back your loans. Everyone needs nurses! The federal government has programs to help nursing students now. And Johnson and Johnson's web site has a scholarship locator for nursing students. I will try to find the web addresses and post them here.

grouchy · Dec 19, 2003

Here's the Johnson and Johnson nursing scholarship locator:

http://www.discovernursing.com/scholarship_search.asp

grouchy · Dec 19, 2003

I just found this site. It has links to scholarship programs for minority nursing students.

http://www.chietaphi.com/scholar.html

grouchy · Dec 19, 2003

National Black Nurse's Association Scholarship program

http://www.nbna.org/scholarship.htm

grouchy · Dec 19, 2003

Help for nursing students from the federal government

http://bhpr.hrsa.gov/nursing/loanrepay.htm

I think going to nursing school right now is a no-lose situation. There are so many sources of financial support out there and loan paybacks and hiring bonuses that you shouldn't have to spend much of your own money, and you will make so much more than you ever would as a nurse's aide.