I can't stand my job, I am a new grad been working for almost 4 months now. Med Surg is nothing like I experienced in school. I never expected nursing to bring me down, and make me feel this depressed. I was so inspired and self-fulfilled with my career decision, but with all the stress, pressure, demands of the hospital setting...I feel like I'm suppose to be in 10 places at one time. With everything so rushed, I feel like I can be a safety hazard to my patients. I work 5 days a week, 8hr shifts, and I feel there just isn't enough hours in the day. I tell myself..."don't be a coward, if they can do it, you can do it." But I come home crying every day, worrying that I forgot something, and even on my days off I soooo desperately want to enjoy it, but can't because work is on my mind. I would quit right now if I could, but I'm under a one year contract. If I quit now I have to pay $8000. I know I'm still new, but I always wonder if I will ever be all the other nurses on my floor who look relaxed, not so stressed, and smile. I always feel like I have to put on a fake laugh or smile, just so everyone knows I'm ok. When I'm at work everyone talks about everyone, you're getting in trouble for little things that administration wants done, the pt's families are yelling at you, patients are frustrated, don't know what's going on with the patients entirely because there is no time to look at the chart, forgetting to do this and that because i need to attend to prn meds, or md is calling for something else. I feel like an idiot at work, and I don't know if the hospital setting is for me. What do you think? Keep me in your prayers, it's the only thing that will save me.
Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.
Wow. Now, for me it was the other way around. I do all 8s now and love it. I can have a little bit of a life on the days I work, and my off days are spectacular now........as opposed to just time to rest from all those 12s.
That is from a night shift point of view though. IDK, I've just found living easier when I work 8s.
Well to be fair my first job was 11p-7a and we were oncall A LOT. So my days were so often messed up and I just always felt my days/nights everything belonged to work. Especially if my two days off we mixed into my week instead of consecutively.
I have gotten so used to working three in a row and having 4-5 days off that I just don't see it any other way.
please take a look around this site at all the other posts similar to yours. what you're describing is not at all unusual at this point in your career -- the first year of nursing practice, and making the transition from nursing student to practicing nurse, is notoriously stressful and difficult. i don't mean this to sound dismissive at all, but nearly all of us felt the same way you describe early on in our first year of practice, and we all survived. you pretty much have to just grit your teeth, hunker down, and survive the first year, and as time continues to pass, you will find that your skills and knowledge are improving and you're becoming more competent and efficient. it's a terrible feeling (what you're feeling now), but it will pass.
I feel really bad for you. I have not graduated yet but I am doing my final placement for my Bachelor of Nursing and they have thrown me in the deep end and I am struggling in many ways and succeeding in others, still not at a high enough level for them to pass me but there is time and every day I get better.
I guess what I wanted to say was you're not alone with this feeling and also that it is good that you are worried about things, it means you are trying to work it all out and get in tune with how nursing works and how to think and what to do. I guess it is this stressed out reaction that helps us to become the best we can be and make sure we don't miss anything. Have you got somebody who can answer your questions and give you advice? Have you got some techniques to mentally switch off and leave work at work? All the stress will make you better but you can't afford to feel that way all the time.
I remember feeling the same way you do at 4 months. I was frustrated because it felt like I never had the time to fully understand what was going on with my patient. I needed time to look at reason for admission. history, labs,consults, report of operation ect... The other nurses seemed so relaxed. I must say time made it better. Its been 13 months since I started and while I still have so much more to learn I do have a handle on the big picture now.
I was working 5 eight hour shifts too and I did cut back to 32 hours which made a huge difference. Maybe you could look into reducing your hours a bit.
Another thing I have noticed is the 12 hr people do have a lot more free time and this is because they have already had these patients for 4 hrs before I even arrived so they are done with assessments, flow sheets. ect..
Hang in there, give it more time, maybe take a long weekend off. We get so burned out the first year. I found that my first week off really made a huge difference..I did go on a cruise so that helped.
I'm not where you are yet, but I found this post to be very insightful and inspiring. I read it as a pre-nursing student and I go back to it from time to time, to remind myself of the gambit of emotions I can expect during the first year.
Tait, MSN, RN
2,142 Posts
Well to be fair my first job was 11p-7a and we were oncall A LOT. So my days were so often messed up and I just always felt my days/nights everything belonged to work. Especially if my two days off we mixed into my week instead of consecutively.
I have gotten so used to working three in a row and having 4-5 days off that I just don't see it any other way.
Tait