I can't take it anymore

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I can't stand my job, I am a new grad been working for almost 4 months now. Med Surg is nothing like I experienced in school. I never expected nursing to bring me down, and make me feel this depressed. I was so inspired and self-fulfilled with my career decision, but with all the stress, pressure, demands of the hospital setting...I feel like I'm suppose to be in 10 places at one time. With everything so rushed, I feel like I can be a safety hazard to my patients. I work 5 days a week, 8hr shifts, and I feel there just isn't enough hours in the day. I tell myself..."don't be a coward, if they can do it, you can do it." But I come home crying every day, worrying that I forgot something, and even on my days off I soooo desperately want to enjoy it, but can't because work is on my mind. I would quit right now if I could, but I'm under a one year contract. If I quit now I have to pay $8000. I know I'm still new, but I always wonder if I will ever be all the other nurses on my floor who look relaxed, not so stressed, and smile. I always feel like I have to put on a fake laugh or smile, just so everyone knows I'm ok. When I'm at work everyone talks about everyone, you're getting in trouble for little things that administration wants done, the pt's families are yelling at you, patients are frustrated, don't know what's going on with the patients entirely because there is no time to look at the chart, forgetting to do this and that because i need to attend to prn meds, or md is calling for something else. I feel like an idiot at work, and I don't know if the hospital setting is for me. What do you think? Keep me in your prayers, it's the only thing that will save me.

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Please take a look around this site at all the other posts similar to yours. What you're describing is not at all unusual at this point in your career -- the first year of nursing practice, and making the transition from nursing student to practicing nurse, is notoriously stressful and difficult. I don't mean this to sound dismissive at all, but nearly all of us felt the same way you describe early on in our first year of practice, and we all survived. You pretty much have to just grit your teeth, hunker down, and survive the first year, and as time continues to pass, you will find that your skills and knowledge are improving and you're becoming more competent and efficient. It's a terrible feeling (what you're feeling now), but it will pass.

Best wishes! :balloons:

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I almost quit a hundred times that first year. But, rather than be miserable think of it like this--------lots of good nursing takes place outside the hospital. Maybe you should consider another venue. Good luck!

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Specializes in interested in NICU!!.

i am a pre-nursing student so the only thing i have to offer is prayer, i'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts for strenght and faith. god bless

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THe whole system is screwed up and it is not your fault. Just do one thing in a time and you will be fine. They cannot fire you for not being able to be at ten places at the same time.

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THe whole system is screwed up and it is not your fault. Just do one thing in a time and you will be fine. They cannot fire you for not being able to be at ten places at the same time.

Great advice!

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

Look at the bright side: if, by some miracle, you manage to survive this, there will be nothing on Earth you can't do.

(You'll will survive, and most likely you'll succeed, and there may be some things on Earth you can't do, but there won't be nearly as many and you'll be a lot more confident trying something new.)

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

I found eight hour shifts drained me out and made me feel like I was at work non-stop. I was MUCH happier when I got a job doing 12's instead.

I don't sugar coat, or tell anyone "it will be ok" but it will become more homogenized as you get more experience, and the bad days will be fewer and farther in between.

:icon_hug:

Tait

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i will pray for you and also as everybody said first year will be tough but after that you will learn to manage things differently. Also one positive point is lot of new grads are having such terrible time to get a job and you are lucky to find something as a new grad. Although it is tough, but i am sure you will survive

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Specializes in ccu cardiovascular.

I'm not going to sugar coat this "Nursing is hard! and almost brutal in your first two years". I really believe the schools don't paint the real picture and new grads are so disillusioned by their first year on the job. My first year I swear I cried every day, cursed myself for the first two and threatened becoming a bagger at walmart or going to truck driving school. Nursing depending on where you work can really stink and you wonder what the heck were you thinking but every now and then you have the experience or patient that makes you say to yourself"I'm a nurse and damned proud of it and I really made a difference today" They are few and far between but if this is where you are meant to be you will be here ten years later. I hated nursing every day or almost everday for the first two years and I don't know if I'm just getting older and it does not bother me as much or I tell myself "I'm a nurse and this is what I do and just take every shift as it comes" I know I make a difference everyday even if someone does not say it or I don't see it. We deal with the crappy families, the inconsiderate doctors, mean patients and poor staffing with administration that only care about the numbers. Try to stick it out your first year, four months can't even put a dent in it. I guarantee you will be a different nurse in 6 months not that you will be loving it but you will be dealing with it alot better.:twocents:

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student200977 :kiss

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Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
I found eight hour shifts drained me out and made me feel like I was at work non-stop. I was MUCH happier when I got a job doing 12's instead.

I don't sugar coat, or tell anyone "it will be ok" but it will become more homogenized as you get more experience, and the bad days will be fewer and farther in between.

:icon_hug:

Tait

Wow. Now, for me it was the other way around. I do all 8s now and love it. I can have a little bit of a life on the days I work, and my off days are spectacular now........as opposed to just time to rest from all those 12s.

That is from a night shift point of view though. IDK, I've just found living easier when I work 8s.

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