I Remember What It Was Like To Be A Terrified Nursing Student
I've learned a bit in nearly four decades at the bedside -- and I still remember what it was like to be brand new. Here's some wisdom -- and an invitation for my fellow senior nurses to add their own.
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I can assure you that despite my 38 years of experience, I remember vividly what it was like to be a terrified student or new graduate nurse on the nursing unit for the first time. Most of us old nurses haven't forgotten what it's like to be new; we've just accumulated a whole lot more experience and quite a bit of wisdom as well -- and we can tell you that sometimes things aren't precisely the way you think they are.
Sometimes your work colleagues really don't like you -- and sometimes the reason is that you're unlikable.
I can say this with some surety because I remember vividly what it was like to be a terrified new grad on the nursing unit for the first year. I was so scared -- of the patients, of my co-workers, of the doctors, of my boss and of making a horrible mistake -- that I was tense, humorless and generally unlikable. Once I accumulated some experience and some knowledge and was able to relax just a bit, people started liking me.
It wasn't that they were horrible people intent on devouring new grads. It's just that some new grads aren't very likable.
I know that you're loaded down with compassion and empathy and all that, but the patient who is throwing his food trays at you because he doesn't like his diagnosis really doesn't have an excuse for his behavior. Sure he's upset and scared -- I get that -- better than most of you do, because I've been there. But being upset and scared doesn't give you a license for physical (or verbal) aggression directed at others.
"Customer Service" is a trend that will eventually die. No matter how many patients have to die because of customer service first. It makes no sense to base health care reimbursement or raises or anything, really, on the "customer service" model.
A happy customer is someone who has everything his way.
Patients don't get to have everything their way.
A nurse who gives them cupcakes when their blood sugar is 699 or a big glass of water when they're on a fluid restriction or anything when they're NPO is likely to get a great survey but an unhealthy patient. And aren't we in the business of promoting health?
Families who insist that it's "their right" to be at the bedside usually aren't there to be supportive of the patient. And they usually aren't supportive of the patient. If I have to wake you up because your mother is calling your name and wants you to hold her hand, you're not being supportive.
If you're there to translate for your father who doesn't speak English, you'll need to get out of your comfortable nest and translate when we need to give your father directions.
If you want to sleep, go elsewhere.
And before anyone snaps at me that I clearly don't get it, that of course families have a right . . . understand that I've spent more time as a patient than as a nurse in the past two years. I get it.
The family member who wants to be at the bedside to support the patient will tell you that, not insist upon "their rights." Family members who TELL you that they're there to support the patient may not always have that clear and unselfish an agenda, but those who insist upon their "rights" are unlikely in the extreme to be anything approaching supportive.
Nurses wouldn't mind family being at the bedside if the family knew how to behave in public. But that's a whole another thread -- one that I've already started and one that I may start again, just for fun.
