I need a pep talk...badly!!!

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Nov 22, 2006

Are there any nursing instructors you can confide in? Please go to student services and see if they have any assistance. Call a couple of local churches. There are many services out there willing to help such a motivated person, but you need to seek them out. When I was unemployed my church asked if we needed help. Fortunately we didn't but it is good to know there are people who want to help. Please don't give up school. You are going through hell right now, but 2 years of hell will guarantee you are able to provide for you and your son in the years to come. Please let us know how you are doing. We care.

JentheRN05, RN · Nov 22, 2006

:smilecoffeecup: Good luck - no advice but wish you the best!

s.esperanza · Nov 22, 2006

I was working full time, going to school full time, and raising 2 girls, ages 3 and 14 as a single mother. I had to take a semester off (I was one semester away from graduation) because my teenager was depressed and acting out because she was spending so much time with my parents and not with me, which also pushed me into depression. It was the best thing I ever did. My daughter and I are closer than ever and I am 4 weeks away from graduation. Just be sure to go back and finish if you do take time off. Good luck and hang in there.

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Nov 22, 2006

Do finish out this semester. Even if you take a break from school after this one is over, going back will be easier than if you quit before it's over. Will you be employable as a nursing tech or NA after this semester is over?

Talk with your instructors, especially if you have good rapport. They may have connections at local hospitals or nursing homes that can help you tremendously in getting another job.

Twenty-plus years ago, I was laid off from a job while in my ADN program. When I went to apply for unemployment, I got one check. I was given an appointment to come back the next week and asked for a different appointment, as I had class and a test that day. I was told "you have to prove to us that getting this check is more important to you than school."

Well, how stupid is that?? I'm trying to better myself, make more money, make a contribution to society, and the check is supposed to be more important?? That's totally bass-ackwards- it was then and it is now. (Hint to the people in the unemployment office: people who make more money tend to pay more taxes!)

Fortunately I was already an LPN. I went to one of my nursing instructors. She told me to go to hospital X and talk with Mrs. Y and tell her who sent me. I did and walked out of the door with a job. I worked for that hospital 13 years, until I moved out of the area.

Go to your instructors and/or the head of your program. They may be able to help you.

Keep trying. Keep plugging. Get up every morning and tell yourself that you are going to make it through this day! You are strong. You can and will do this.

When you finish, you will have something to show for it, and the means to provide for yourself and your son. It will be so worth it!

Best to you!

Dee2007 · Nov 22, 2006

I agree with the advise from santhony44. My instructors are very easy to talk to about anything, I think they are going to start charging me by the hour. LOL!! Although it must be hard being away from your son but keep in mind your doing this for him. I could share a long story on my way of getting to where I am with my four children but maybe some other time. I do believe that one day he will understand and thank you for all you've went through for him. Good luck and best wishes!!

nurse_clown · Nov 22, 2006

you've been given some good sound advice. i too, wish you the best of luck and i hope that you'll be able to see your son for the holidays. i have a three year old son too and i'd be very depressed if i couldn't see him. someone already suggested the united way. try it out. don't give up. don't quit school. :nono: you are valuable. and talk to your mother. if not to vent, review plans and get reassurance and support. i remember when i was a student how challenging things were. but i wanted to be a nurse so badly. but i took a semester off. i still went to school but i took general arts courses (gym and word processing 101) and i only took two. i also enrolled in some general interest courses like arts and crafts, a historical boat cruise around the lake ontario and horseback riding classes. it was hard getting back into serious nursing school mode in the next semester. i graduated a semester later than when i started but i did manage to graduate. some people just do things differently. the next three weeks are going to be hard. i really encourage you to finish and not give up on school. believe me when you finish, you'll be glad you did. :nurse:

mturner88 · Nov 22, 2006

I have spoken to my academic advisor and she is not really helping me. It is a private college and the more I progress the more it seems as if all they care about is the money (6500 per semester, not including books and lab fee) and not the students.

I am waiting for the United way to get back to me to see if I can get any help. I will be able to finish the last three weeks but it is so hard for me to concentrate. Next semester is going to be such a challenge because my first rotation of OB for 7wks and second rotaton of Peds for 7wks...I just cannot afford to mess up because of this added stress. I have applied for private loans for living expenses and of course, I can't get them and none of my family is willing to help. I am doing this all alone and is sucks :crying2:

I have to literally look at pictures of hungry children in Sudan and Dwarf so that I keep telling myself that this situation could be worst. I could be in Sudan with nothing. It was working but does not seem to be so effective now.

I want to thank all of you for the words of encouragement, I really do appreciate it.

moongirl · Nov 22, 2006

can you finish up this 3 weeks then move to where your mom is and see if there is a college near by where you can finish out your time?

mturner88 · Nov 22, 2006

Our program won't be NLN accredited until next year which would mean that none of my credits would transfer. It's a career college and I would have to start all over. The closest school that they have where my mom lives is about 3hrs away.

rach_nc_03 · Nov 22, 2006

ahhh.....your situation is much more complicated because it's a career college- and you're right, if they're not accredited yet, you probably won't find another school to accept transfer credits.

I'm going to tell you about a former employee of mine- it's long, but I think it could help just a little bit.

In the state where I used to live, I knew a guy who went through a similar situation as yours, and tried to get his school to let him take a semester off so he could straighten out his living situation (he was living out of his car) and get his kids back (like you, he had to send them out of state to live with their grandparents). His advisers were not helpful at all- which still burns me up when I think about it. :madface:

Here's what he did- it was truly hard for him, but he did it. He went to every single person in his class to see if he could arrange a living situation with them that involved him doing some sort of chores for the family- babysitting, cooking, cleaning, etc....anything- in return for having a place to live. If they said no, he asked them if they could think of ANYONE- their church, friends, family- who could help him. He did this over and over with all of his classmates, but no luck. So he went to his nursing instructors, one by one, and asked them the same thing.

The last person he asked was able to get him in touch with her church. They arranged for him to live with a couple who were a little older- mostly independent, but they needed a little help with cleaning and cooking. This couple had been through some hard times many years before, so they knew how he felt. They paid him what money they could for his domestic services (they told him his rent was free because they loved having someone new around the house to talk to. ) Other people from the church stopped by occasionally and helped out when and how they could- someone donated frequent flyer miles to him so he could visit his children over the semester break (the person was a business traveler who had tons of miles accrued, but was too busy to ever take a vacation); a mechanic offered to fix his car when it started having problems; sometimes people would just drop by and offer him a $20 bill.

He HATED relying on people for help. And everytime he got a "no" from the other people he asked, it got harder to ask the next person. But, in the end, the help he received got him through school, and he graduated the following semester.

One of the reasons he didn't want to ask churches for help is that he was Jewish- non-practicing, but he felt like a moocher to ask for help from a Christian church. They didn't care that he wasn't Christian- he was in need, and he was doing everything in his power to help himself and his family- and to become a nurse, where he could help countless people.

During my first semester of school, I was trying to leave an abusive marriage, and had no money and nowhere to go. I was facing major surgery, had no income, and I considered just quitting school and going back to my former career, which had paid well- and sticking it out in my living situation until I could find a way out. The offers I received for help from my classmates- who barely knew me- were unreal. Several people offered to let me live with them, rent-free, and I got letters from people at their churches who said they were praying for me. I'm not a religious person- but knowing that there were strangers who were thinking of me (some also offered to help in various ways) gave me strength. (Things worked out for me in the end because of some unexpected family support.)

Try to have faith in your fellow man (and woman!)- there are people out there who will help you if they know you need it. I have always been a cynic about people, but going through that experience changed my mind.

Even though your advisers haven't been helpful, someone else at your school might be. Keep trying- I know it's incredibly hard, and all-consuming to have to deal with something like this and keep focused on school. I got angry a lot when people would complain about stupid crap like not being able to get an exam date changed so they could catch an earlier flight to cancun for vacation. :stone

Whatever you do, find a way to finish this semester. Whenever you're having trouble concentrating, try to picture what it will be like to be finished with school and with your family again. If that seems too distant to imagine, picture yourself finishing up the semester and the relief you'll feel when that happens. Your mind can get stuck in a loop when you're facing a crisis like this, but with practice, you can stop that loop by inserting a mental picture of how you WANT things to turn out. It's extremely hard, I know. But this can help you get through the coming weeks, at least. If you think it would help, ask if you can join a study group- maybe you don't need the academic support, but perhaps being with others will help you stay focused for a few hours.

I wish there was something I could do to help. Just know that there ARE people around you who will be SO happy to be able to help you...you just have to find them.

Please keep us informed, and know that there are literally hundreds of people all over the world who have read your post and are thinking of you.

:icon_hug:

--rach

moongirl · Nov 22, 2006

rach-

that is the best reply I think I have ever read here at allnurses!!!!!!!!!

:yelclap:

P_RN, ADN, RN · Nov 22, 2006

Rach that's beautiful.