Hello, from another thread that was deleted I will recap... started May15 and I
got fired on June11 2014 because of my "way of handling frustration in the work place" and I guess my "inability to connect with patients emotionally" per my former manager
(But I did meet every other competency very well and can do everything else an RN career entails)
My first incident, I got mad at the vital signs machine because it wasnt giving me a blood pressure...then I took it out on questioning a medication I didnt understand why the patient was getting. A substitute preceptor and the clinical education lady were present when I took out my frustration on the medication on the screen. I wasnt cursing or anything crazy, just saying " Why am I giving this med??? Im not going to give this, no where in the reference manual does the patient meet criteria of why hes getting Risperdone" I guess it was that big of a deal my manager heard about it. They thought I was 'going out of my scope of practice saying I wanted to hold the med'. I dont know..
Next I had 2 drug user patients that gave me a hard time. One made up some story saying "She doesnt have passion, she just takes it like a job"....My manager and I spoke over this incident, we agreed that Im very task oriented and that the patient took it as I didnt care or have passion. But the other side is this patient is stuck on the floor for 48 day, has a manipulative history thats been documented,the rest of the nurses cant stand him and no one really liked working with this patient etc., I never really had a problem with the guy, I actually thought he wasnt so bad. So that incident through me off completely... whatever, nothing I could really do about that one.
The last patient on my last day there, to make it short..was VERY difficult. She was cocaine drug user, from the hood, recently released from prison etc etc the whole 9 yards. This patient was KNOWN on the floor, history of physically fighting staff:blackeye: (I wasnt warned by my preceptor, it was whispered to me by the PCA's). I had to do her admission right at shift change, she was an angel and cooperative with my preceptor. The minute I was left alone with her to do the admission she did a 360 on me, telling me "Man Shut up, I dont know, I dont care, why are you asking me this stuff, Man put whatever you want, get out" etc all while shifting violently and thrashing sheet and smacking pillows. Had to go to my preceptor 2x and get her to finish the admission form with me. Of course the patient was perfect and we both knew this was all an act.
Im not going to lie I did everything I could and in the end the patient got under my skin, I even felt in my gut she was being racial towards me but w.e, I voiced and vented to my preceptor and I guess it was too much Im not sure. I also asked for her expertise and how can I handle this better next time, tips, phrases etc.
I get a voicemail the next day on my day off from my manager saying dont come n, we need to sit down with the other manager and discuss some things that happened over the weekend. I did some homework on how to handle difficult patients, had some articles printed and brought them with me. Found out that same day of the meeting on Friday I was fired.
They did it very well and professionally, was honestly the best 'You're fired' sit down Ive ever experienced. They gave me good feedback and constructive and positive details and well. Suggested that other branches of nursing might work better for me, it really resonated and had me thinking. It just came down to what I mentioned above; my "way of handling frustration in the work place" and I guess my "inability to connect with patients emotionally". Im going to write them a thank you letter for giving me the opportunity and the time I spent at their facility, I really did learn ALOT. (it was a tele, step down, surgical, med surg, psycho, etc kind of floor, we got everything)
I basically need some expertise, I wanted to know what other avenues of nursing I can take that require much less emotional connection and less family centered care. I would like to do something thats fast paced but not so much customer service oriented. Im great at DOING, the manager emphasized I was VERY intelligent and it kinda blew them away at first............................I guess...lol.
So any ideas will help, I tried looking up odd jobs and very different positions nurses cant take. I was thinking correctional nursing maybe? My dream would be the ER but I need experience and thats my other obstacle, Im a new grad... so I NEED experience regardless what avenue I take all I have is about a month or less experience, handled up to 3 patient at a time.
Any ideas or where I can find an RN career counselor??? Thanks..
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Thank you, I appreciate your response. I did look up various articles on how to deal with difficult patients, I brought them with me to the meeting to show them Im trying my best effort to better myself and my practice/skills. Unfortunately it didnt matter, their mind was made up.
Im not an out of control person when Im frustrated, I just think that, truthfully, it might show on my face a little more and possibly my sentences get short and brief when I speak. I NEVER lashed out a patient or came close to such thing. I guess I just have to shut my mouth and vent outside the workplace. In the end I learned big time from this experience...that hard way.
But your right I need a foundation...so I suppose if I want to move around later in nursing Im going to have to bite the bullet and learn to work on a family centered floor...I m good at doing, but being all touchy feely.....Thats why Im trying to look into various "other" branches of nursing...
Being a nurse is being an actress. You never let them see what you really are thinking...develop a slightly vacant mildly interested look on your face and eyes. Be pleasant but aloof. Polite but vague. Teach yourself to remain distant but pleasant appear to be kind and thoughtful. Make the proper concerned noises. Nod your head and seem like you care. NEVER let them see you sweat and become frustrated. Remind yourself that the patient is not your family member (thank goodness), that you really don't care what they think and in a hundred years none of this is going to matter.
Let it go! Take nothing personal. Manipulative patients regardless of the patient race WILL make racist comments and go right for what bothers YOU! They are experts at reading you and going in for the kill. I have been called everything under the sun...my response...I see you are frustrated right now...would you like to discuss what is bothering you right now? When further profanities follow....all you say is....I see you need some time alone I will come back when you are ready to talk...call me if you need anything. Another of my favorites is...Would you like to speak to the Charge nurse/supervisor/manager/patient advocate/social services?
You say standard irritating phrases like. I hear what your are saying. I am sorry you feel that way. How can I make it easier/better for you? How can I be more helpful? I'm sorry you are feeling angry/frustrated. or I see that you are frustrated....would you like to tell me about it? Would you like to finish the rest of the admission later? I need this to get started and we can finish when you feeling in better control.
NEVER VENT TO CO-WORKERS especially when you are the new kid.
Corrections...that is a specialty all it's own. While "customer service" isn't really a "big deal" patient/prisoner rights is paramount concern. I once interviewed for a part time job in a prison... I mean how hard can it be? I work at an inner city tough ED KNOWN for violence and trauma...how bad can it be?
I was crazy...it can be bad. They walked me down one range. I turned and looked at the interviewer and told him...let's not waste your time. That was more than I could have imagined. Calling from the cells, throwing feces, exposing themselves, masturbating for the "pretty white girl" (not the exact phrase)amongst other lewd lascivious acts.... Yeah not my cup of tea. When patients in the ED acts like this we call the police and they go to jail....these guys were in jail. Not my cup of tea.
Love everything you said....TRUST ME...I learned BIG TIME never to vent to co-workers... Never ever will that happen again..
LMAO!: "You say standard irritating phrases like. I hear what your are saying. I am sorry you feel that way. How can I make it easier/better for you? How can I be more helpful? I'm sorry you are feeling angry/frustrated. or I see that you are frustrated....would you like to tell me about it? Would you like to finish the rest of the admission later? I need this to get started and we can finish when you feeling in better control."
Its true....You're so right. I did say that once or twice on my difficult patient, it made her worse though...
Oh my....well.....to be honest I think Id be better at dealing with that......for some reason. Ill have to take a tour first hand and see.
As for the polite but vague thing....its construed as careless and "not passionate" as one patient put it to my manager. But I learned and will use these tips you gave me for sure next time. I know better now.
Customer service is here to stay. And unfortunately in hospitals, customer service = kissing petooty no matter how out of line that petooty may be. Retail has long ago learned that to meet expectations, you have to skillfully set those expectations. Hospitals unfortunately have not learned that lesson, so they think you have to meet expectations no matter how unrealistic they may be. And do it with less staff. And don't dare let anyone know that you actually care more about CPR in room one than getting juice in room two, because room two deserves to think they are your number one priority too!!!
Which is why I hope to soon get out of nursing. But if you want to stick with it, it's just something you'll have to learn to deal with and become an expert at. Because hospital admin doesn't care how many lives you save, how many patients you keep from going south, how many bad outcomes you prevent. They care that you serve coffee like a Starbucks barista and juice and drugs like a five star restaurant server.
So learn to kiss petooty. You've gotten some good tips here. I especially like that you're supposed to be an actress. Read that advice twice.
all I have is about a month or less experience, handled up to 3 patient at a time.
Nurse J1112
97 Posts
Ill definitely buy the book. It can only help me. Thank you. Im still young (24) and growing as a nurse, I hope I get it soon lol