My son in law is 36 years old. He and my daughter are expecting their first baby in 3 months. I'll call him David. David was a cocaine addict when he was in his early 20's and got caught stealing items from someone's home, got arrested and was offered rehab in lieu of jail time. He went to rehab for 3 months. A year or so ago I started to see signs that he was using cocaine. The constant runny nose, etc. He adamantly denied using cocaine. He fell asleep on our couch and I cut some of his hair and had it tested and yes it was positive for cocaine. They were engaged and the time and my daughter was furious with me. She believed him. Once faced with the truth she broke up with him. About 9 months ago he called her to apoligize for all the wrong he had done to her, lying etc.....one thing led to another and she ended up pregnant. I didn't want them to get married and neither did his parents but they insisted. They live with us because they together don't make enough money to be on their own. My daughter is 24 years old and works full-time. David floats from job to job, claims he has alot of bills, claims his check only covers his bills and his gas. July 11th we went to Floriday for 10 days. After we got home we got a bill for a "sex line chat call ($3.50/min) for a total of $125.00 I asked my daughter. Where were you guys at 9:00 pm on the 19th. She said mama that's the day I had my root canal and I had taken a pain pill and was knocked out for the rest of the day and night. He never said he didn't do it but implied that he didn't. He then said "well I'm not admitting any guilt but since it happened while we were here I'll pay it" (Good luck to me trying to collect). My daughter now realizes that David did make that call. I told her it was equivelent to cheating. Talking to a woman on a live sex line. Also how inconsiderate to make a charge like that to us who have been so good to them and given them a roof over their heads. There's also been an issue with him saying he was outside asleep on the hammock the other night at 0300 but I had let the dogs out and he was not in the hammock. I think he was gone doing/buying cocaine. When I confronted him he denied doing any drugs. (He denied it a year ago also when indeed he was guilty) I said you have not been to any rehab, you don't go to therapy, you don't go to NA meetings. How did you just quit cold turkey and never gone back to drugs? Don't you have cravings to use? He said that our daughter and his
son who is on the way is all he needs to think about to keep himself off of cocaine. He said I swear on their lives that I'm not doing anything. That's a very strong statement but I don't believe him. What are the chances that a cocaine addict can stop using without rehab or anything? I am going to ask him for a drug test. If he refuses, of course he's guilty. What is the best method of testing. I know he can get around the urine drug screen because he did before. Should I demand hair or should I draw his blood. If it's positive I will throw his butt out and I am 99% sure my daughter would not go with him. I have already told her that if they do move out with the baby that I would go to court to get temporary custody of the baby and that I would win because judges don't leave babies with coke addicts. I know my daughter would come home with the baby. I have been a basket case for a week or more and don't know where to turn or even what to think? What do I say to my daughter. She said she believes him and she doesn't think she's being naive. She's only 24, pregnant, and she does love him. I do believe he loves her too. I think he's an addict and cannot help himself. Please help with any opinions or information that you have. Thanks so very much Joanna
