I’m not happy

Published

Hey all! I need to vent. Im on the verge of a breakdown. I'm a new lpn never had any experience my first job. I hate ltc. After graduating I told myself I would not go into ltc. I hate my job at this nursing home. 3 days ago i was still on orientation but when I walked in they were short of nurses and told me to run the med cart by myself. The thing is I was never trained on this cart or this unit. I was floating on other units for my training. They gave me the cart with 20 residents, a ton of meds and skin treatments I fell behind. Residents complaining I was late on their meds. The 11-7am nurse came and I was still on the cart. I left at 2 am bc of charting and cried on my way home. Yesterday I was suppose to go in but I called off I don't want to be there anymore. Then I get a voicemail from them saying that their sorry for the miscommunication that I wasn't suppose to be on the cart by myself. I was basically thrown to the wolves. Everyday I dread this job I want to quit and work in a doctors office anything but a nursing home. But these places all say experience. :arghh: I hate the 3-11pm shift and I'm full time I have no life. I don't take breaks. I don't eat when I come home I sleep and await the next dreadful day. I never hated my life as much I do now.

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

One way or another, this is temporary. At this point you are probably so chronically stressed, hungry and tired you can't even think straight. It won't be the first time a nurse got pulled off orientation because of THEIR staffing emergency. Yes, the residents complained because they got their meds late. Think how much they'd complain if no one had been there to give them their meds at all. The complaints are because management screwed up, not you.

Please meet with your manager and tell her/him that you really do want to do your best. However, you are finding it difficult to get your breaks and get out on time. Chances are, your manager will give you a pat on the head and lip service but you have to give them a chance anyway. You didn't say how long you've been working there so far.

Here's why your situation is temporary: 1. You are getting better at this job every day, even if you can't see it yet. 2. MAYBE management will lighten your load for you before you run away screaming. 3. Every day is one more day of experience. Start looking now for your next job.

Hang in there.

Become just a little empowered. I realize you're not in the best situation and can't throw any weight around, so-to-speak, but you can stand up for yourself reasonably.

"Orientee, we will need you to run this med cart today because someone didn't show up for work."

You: "NO."

[Okay, reality: Make good eye contact and say, "I'm going to need a little more time to familiarize myself with everything. What else could I do to help, instead?"] Or, heck, maybe a simple "no" is actually the right thing to say. Sometimes we have a huge hand in setting expectations for how we will be treated.

At least they apologized. :-/

Make a loose plan for your upcoming shift, imagine how you are going to handle things, and see yourself succeeding. Along the way, don't agree to things you know are wrong or dangerous; this is the empowerment part. Be pleasant and try to stay calm from the minute you walk in the door. If it seems like a place that is willing to destroy you (or your work record) and this is their general MO with regard to nurses, leave. Those are the situations you can never "win."

I can relate to every word completely. I'm 19 months into my job, and unless I've had like 8 patients, nothing ever gets done on time. I'm on 12 hour shifts on days, and basically if no one dies, you can consider it a "good shift." By the time I get done with my 7-11 am medication pass, it's almost time to start the 2 pm med pass because there are so many distractions in the morning; with therapy, patients are never in their rooms when you need them to be. By the time my 2 pm med pass is done, it's basically time for 4pm meds and supper. Theoretically, I like to get my charting done while patients are eating so I don't have to stay so late, but it almost never works because someone is always needing something and the fall risk patients get up from the lunch table without waiting, so you have to catch them as quick as you can. And 6-7 pm never seems to work for charting because some patients are already wanting their bedtime meds (sure wish I could go to bed at 6 pm!).

Basically, what I'm saying is...it's not you. It's the job. These types of positions are basically impossible to do everything exactly right. I can relate to calling off because I didn't want to be at my workplace either. I was always a little sick, but there were probably times I could have worked if I'd pushed myself. I agree to start looking for another job. That's what I'm going to do. I may end up leaving the nursing profession if nothing else comes up, because these types of jobs aren't worth it (especially considering how underpaid we are to do all this work!).

Specializes in Case manager, float pool, and more.
One way or another, this is temporary. At this point you are probably so chronically stressed, hungry and tired you can't even think straight. It won't be the first time a nurse got pulled off orientation because of THEIR staffing emergency. Yes, the residents complained because they got their meds late. Think how much they'd complain if no one had been there to give them their meds at all. The complaints are because management screwed up, not you.

Please meet with your manager and tell her/him that you really do want to do your best. However, you are finding it difficult to get your breaks and get out on time. Chances are, your manager will give you a pat on the head and lip service but you have to give them a chance anyway. You didn't say how long you've been working there so far.

Here's why your situation is temporary: 1. You are getting better at this job every day, even if you can't see it yet. 2. MAYBE management will lighten your load for you before you run away screaming. 3. Every day is one more day of experience. Start looking now for your next job.

Hang in there.

Some good advise here from TriciaJ.

Hang in there. ((( cyber hugs )))

I don't think there's a lot that can be said to help you here. And I don't mean that to shut you down, but LTC is like that, LPNs often find work in LTC as opposed to other places, so, this is where you find yourself. RNs have it the same way on hospital floors when they are first starting out. "Crying in and Crying out" as they call it (referring to the time clock, I think).

You will eventually get very good at your job. Pushing the med cart may become something you actually want to do, and you won't care one way or another if you have all 20 patients. That is assuming you remain a nurse in LTC.

No one with a full time job has a life anymore; you have to understand this. This is a time in life when you put away youthful play and settle in to a career that has some meaning and value to the world and to you, personally. This is part of the reason you are crying. You are transitioning into a world of massive responsibility, and your old life is dying. This is the way it has to be, my friend. This is life.

You know what you should do? On your next shift say, "Give me the cart. I got it." If you're the only one then say, "I'm going to do this safe and I'm not going to stop until I'm done, but if you want it done faster, then I'm going to need an assistant." And put it that way, politely of course, but use the term, "an assistant." Dress sharp, don't let anyone see you cry or complain. And just anticipate staying over a couple hours to chart.

You can kick this in the ass or you can walk away from it. I can't judge you one way or the other. Middleweights don't get in the ring with heavyweights and there ain't no shame in walking away from an unfair fight like that. But you're the boxer here. Only you can make the call. It's your life. It's your fight.

Either way, though, life turns from "having a life" to "having responsibility in life." If you go on to manage a Circle K store, you're going to feel it there, too. So, you got to keep that in mind.

And I wish you, my friend, the very best of luck in all of this.

OP I just wanted to let you know that I have been nursing for 5 years and only recently did I find a job I love. During the first few years I wanted to quit nursing altogether and thought I could never do any of it. But by persevering I got the experience I needed to land a job that I just clicked with. Hang in there. I know it's not easy but you will get through it. As someone else said, it's not permanent

Specializes in ER.
I don't think there's a lot that can be said to help you here. And I don't mean that to shut you down, but LTC is like that, LPNs often find work in LTC as opposed to other places, so, this is where you find yourself. RNs have it the same way on hospital floors when they are first starting out. "Crying in and Crying out" as they call it (referring to the time clock, I think).

You will eventually get very good at your job. Pushing the med cart may become something you actually want to do, and you won't care one way or another if you have all 20 patients. That is assuming you remain a nurse in LTC.

No one with a full time job has a life anymore; you have to understand this. This is a time in life when you put away youthful play and settle in to a career that has some meaning and value to the world and to you, personally. This is part of the reason you are crying. You are transitioning into a world of massive responsibility, and your old life is dying. This is the way it has to be, my friend. This is life.

You know what you should do? On your next shift say, "Give me the cart. I got it." If you're the only one then say, "I'm going to do this safe and I'm not going to stop until I'm done, but if you want it done faster, then I'm going to need an assistant." And put it that way, politely of course, but use the term, "an assistant." Dress sharp, don't let anyone see you cry or complain. And just anticipate staying over a couple hours to chart.

You can kick this in the ass or you can walk away from it. I can't judge you one way or the other. Middleweights don't get in the ring with heavyweights and there ain't no shame in walking away from an unfair fight like that. But you're the boxer here. Only you can make the call. It's your life. It's your fight.

Either way, though, life turns from "having a life" to "having responsibility in life." If you go on to manage a Circle K store, you're going to feel it there, too. So, you got to keep that in mind.

And I wish you, my friend, the very best of luck in all of this.

This is one of the best replies I've seen on allnurses. All hail.

Keep in mind that a twenty year experienced nurse would leave late if they had to do meds for a brand new set of LTC patients. So many personal quirks, looking up histories and side effects, you'll run into new drugs, and identifying people without armbands that don't stay in their room all day? I would refuse the assignment initially, and then make it VERY clear that I'm going to be slow, and I'm going to need help. If anyone got a med on time after 10am it would be a flipping miracle. The chances of me leaving in tears if I had to do it tomorrow...50/50. If no one died you did fine. If you didn't make a med error, you did stupendous. They are lucky to have you.

This is one of the best replies I've seen on allnurses. All hail.

I absolutely agree. Does this board have a 'Post of the Year' designation? If not, then maybe it should...

Canoehead is spot on. You did stupendous. I was doing agency nursing early in my career. Took ONE assignment in a SNF with 30 patients, never went back.

Supervision should never have given you that assignment, now you know to just say NO.

As they have "apologized", finish your orientation at least.

Best wishes, it's a jungle out here.

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