So here's the deal. I'm not a nurse, but my wife is. I know the ED is a pretty crazy place and the one where she works is way to small for the area it serves. I am going into law enforcement, which has it's own stresses, but before I get into academy and start dealing with those changes, I want to build habits that support my wife. How do I show my wife that I understand her stressful environment and make sure that I am acknowledging her for the work she does?
In short, what I'd like to hear about is personal stories of how your husband or wife has effectively supported you in your career as an ED nurse?
Very grateful for this forum and all of you willing to lend a few words of advice.
So whenever he works and i don't, i try to make dinner. I try to time it perfectly....(hmmm if report takes him 30 mins...and 10 min drive....he should be home at.....) because i know that i LOVE coming home to a hot meal.
I'm not an ED nurse, but in my city, I think the ED and the police frequently see a lot of people who need help but actually don't want help (for any number of reasons). This can be exhausting and sometimes dangerous. It also leads to burnout and compassion fatigue. I see it among trauma/burn/SICU nurses--"this pt got shot 4 times in the abdomen and has a liver laceration and he was also shot 2 years ago... [implied or explicit statement about how he might have deserved it];" "this pt got burned and won't really tell us a clear story but based on his teeth and what his girlfriend looks like, we're gonna assume he was cooking meth." I do think it's important to have a realistic understanding that the world is not all sunshine and roses, but it can start to shade every interaction. As much as you can, when the two of you talk about your days, try not to let it become a feedback loop that turns into "everyone is terrible all the time."
Just my 2 cents! I've been part of the feedback loop before--sometimes it even 'feels' therapeutic or tension-relieving, but in the end I don't think it helps.
Emergency responders of any kind (police, fire, paramedics, other medical) understand each other in a way that others can't. You will understand when there are things that you want to but can't be talked about due to legal liability. You will understand each other when you develop gallows humor in bad taste. You'll be able to talk blood and guts and gross out everyone around you.
Dishes will pile up, and laundry won't always get done, but always being there for support or to give loving space when needed will really pull you through, just like my guy gives me. Sometimes I come home and he just holds me until I cry myself to sleep. Or says "I'll be here when you're ready to talk."
I think it's wonderful that you are trying to support her like you are. The rest is really just icing on the cake. Keep up the good work.
BSN16
389 Posts
I love a nurse too;)
So whenever he works and i don't, i try to make dinner. I try to time it perfectly....(hmmm if report takes him 30 mins...and 10 min drive....he should be home at.....) because i know that i LOVE coming home to a hot meal.