I don't know if I should be a nurse

Nurses New Nurse

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Hi. I am a new grad RN. I don't know if I should be a nurse.

1. I really really REALLY despise night shifts. I hate staying up all night. I hate being exhausted all the time and feeling sick all the time. I followed all the tips and tricks for doing nights and I still hate it to no end.

2. I hate the hospital. I hate how chaotic it is. I hate how sick everyone is and how I have to be responsible for them. I hate how gossipy and catty coworkers are to each other. I hate how management dumps work onto staff that makes our lives harder.

3. I don't have enough compassion. I want people to be safe and comfortable but I am not a sentimental person who enjoys being exhausted just to be a hero. And rude/ abusive patients irritate me. I am trying my best to help you, just be decent to me and that's that. I don't care if you say please/thank you but at least don't yell at me for minor things.

4. I hate how competitive the job market is. I have no desire to live a bajillion miles from my friends and family in an area I am unfamiliar with and vulnerable in just to work nights and be underpaid and get yelled at by patients and have catty coworkers. I am 4'11 and very petite and living somewhere rural all alone scares me.

I don't know if I should have become a nurse. I am tough but not that tough. I was a very sentimental and idealistic person when I started school but now that I have graduated and started working...I don't think so anymore. I don't have the usual newgrad woes of "Oh I don't think I am good enough at the tasks!".

I just think I hate nursing. I want nothing more than to work regular hours, be able to sleep at night, and to be able to live somewhere pleasant and safe with decent schools around me--ideally close to home. I don't have the patience to endure a few years of suffering before switching to a clinic job or going on for a higher degree.

I have learned that there are people who somehow managed to find careers that make a difference in peoples' lives, make a decent living, and work regular hours without going through nursing or the medical field.

Hello humbl,

Be thankful you have job and try to find the positive things about your position. Do you like any of your coworkers? Do you gain satisfaction out of seeing your patients improve? Reflect on why you went to nursing school in the first place. If you have passion for nursing, maybe you just haven't found your niche. I agree that you might want to seek employment in another institution or area of nursing. Take time to think about your decision to continue practicing as a registered nurse, but if you find you truly hate your job something should change. Good luck to you. To be blunt, as an unemployed new grad, I don't think it is fair for you to reserve an unwanted position while there are so many of us that would be grateful for your position.

I completely agree! You need to reflect on why you decided to become a nurse because this journey is not easy, and you have to be willing to take the bad with the good. My mind goes back to even the application phase to BSN programs when they asked why do you want to be a nurse and I had to answer that question. Maybe you should think about how you answered that question and see if you feel the same way...if you don't, then don't be a nurse and find another path to career happiness. Self reflection is what every nurse should do periodically to motivate themselves to either keep going or find something else.

You want support then you post something like this? Are you kidding us?

Frankly, your issues, while valid, are childish triviality compared to the real stresses of being an experienced nurse. You still don't even know what you don't know.

Look why should she/he tell me I don't deserve to have my job? It's not his/her judgement and it is a extremely mean thing to say. If he/she applied to dozens of rural areas like I did then he/she would have at least 1 job offer. I work hard and I do my best. I don't need to enjoy something to "deserve" it.

Look why should she/he tell me I don't deserve to have my job? It's not his/her judgement and it is a extremely mean thing to say. If he/she applied to dozens of rural areas like I did then he/she would have at least 1 job offer. I work hard and I do my best. I don't need to enjoy something to "deserve" it.

So you can't handle nightshift but something else is supposed to uproot themselves and relocate to BFE? Whatever.

I know everyone's mad at you OP, but a lot of your original post is resonating with me. Nursing school didn't prepare me for the chaos (and sometimes misery) of being a new nurse. Some days I just want to stand out the gate and yell "they're lying to you!" at the current students - it's not all sunshine and making a difference and yay, leadership! I don't want nursing students to see the days someone holds my hand and says thanks, I want them to see the days I have to argue with a first year resident who interrupts an RRT because they think someone needs an enema right NOW (they don't). Compassion sometimes feels hard when I'm just getting hit from all sides. I choose to cut myself a break even when other people don't. I expected this transition to be hard, but I am genuinely surprised just how hard it is.

Night shift...I don't know how to get around it. If you want to work nights (and prefer the slightly less hectic environment), then it's good but if you aren't a night person there's no amount of push that will make you a night person. I hate it too, a lot. There's a reason for that shift differential, you know?

Just keep applying and find something that helps make this period now feel a little more bearable - that might be graduate school, a different job, treating yourself to something you want. Learn what you can at this job and start looking forward. If you do decide to leave your next job may not be perfect but it might be closer to fitting your needs. Good luck.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Thank you! Aww :)

My unit doesn't have a unit educator. I get enough sleep but I am very tired because I still have things to do in the day like meetings, etc. for work. I think I got more than enough education. Ironically, my coworkers tell me I am doing very well and one even said I am excelling. I should be proud/grateful but I am not which may mean this is not for me. Everyone gossips a lot about each other and people have come to me asking me questions saying "so and so said XYZ about you" and it's like one true thing and several random untrue things. And if I ask certain people questions they make comments like "you should know this by now" or yell at me. I don't take it personally but it irritates me.

I have some more experienced nurses who I talk to but they all say things like "this place is awful" and "if you can go back to school now, do it" LOL

If you're working night shift, you need to sleep during the day. Period.

You're going to find gossipy coworkers, neighbors and relatives wherever you go. If it bothers you that much, stay out of it. You'll find that a little benign gossip is good social grease, however.

You're always going to find people who are more easily irritated by questions . . . I've never seen anyone actually YELL at a newbie for asking questions, though. Not even if they ask the same questions over and over. I'm thinking that probably folks aren't actually raising their voices and screaming at you, but are saying things in a manner you feel uncomfortable. That's something else again.

I see a number of red flags in your original post . . . it seems you hate everything and everyone you encounter at your job. That makes me think it's more about you than it is about your job. If you have a nasty attitude, you're probably not going to find anything you like about any job. So the first thing to correct is your mindset. There is no perfect job and no perfect coworkers. You find things about every situation that you dislike, but if you go looking for them you'll find more. If you go looking for things to like, you might actually FIND some.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Wow - a little harsh - especially considering how PPs have been so empathetic to your situation. This type of hyper-critical response does not reflect well on the poster.

Agreed. The problems seem to be in the poster's attitude.

Gossiping coworkers are in any profession whether It's nursing or accounting. Best time to find a job is when you have one. I just hope that since you are a nurse now and you are having these feelings that it does not reflect on your patients care.

To be blunt, if you have been out of school for over 8 months and cannot find a job at all then it is your own doing. Believe me, there are a ton of jobs out there, regardless of what allnurses will tell you. They are all in the rural, weird places out in the boondocks.

Go apply to the rural prisons, rural clinics, very rural hospitals, and rural departments of public health 500+ miles from home. Don't want those? Then don't complain, because they are hiring new grads with wide open arms, believe me.

I earned my job fair and square and I earn any job I get fair and square. Just because I am unhappy doesn't mean I don't work hard and do my best at what I do.

Just wanted to say that isn't always an option to move to "rural, weird places" in order to secure a job. Many new graduates have families that cannot just be uprooted and moved. Should someone just ask their husband or wife to give up a lucrative position and move the entire family so you can get that first job? I'm sure you can understand that for many new grads reading your post it is hard to relate to how much you hate your job when they cannot find one. For someone who has been looking for a job for 8 months, they're simply thinking how grateful they would be to have any job, even if it wasn't a great position.

I'm not in love with my first job but I'm doing my best to make it work and on the worst days I tell myself "I can do anything for a year." I drive an hour and a half to get to a job that I don't like very much but if I power through - options will open up closer to home.

Maybe that's what you need to tell yourself - find some positives in your work and think about the fact that after you get that first year of experience, you'll be able to find a job closer to home and maybe one that doesn't require you to work at night. If, after getting closer to home and getting a more regular schedule, nursing still doesn't seem like the profession for you - then maybe it will be time to move forward and try something else.

Best wishes and I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

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