Hi. I am a new grad RN. I don't know if I should be a nurse.
1. I really really REALLY despise night shifts. I hate staying up all night. I hate being exhausted all the time and feeling sick all the time. I followed all the tips and tricks for doing nights and I still hate it to no end.
2. I hate the hospital. I hate how chaotic it is. I hate how sick everyone is and how I have to be responsible for them. I hate how gossipy and catty coworkers are to each other. I hate how management dumps work onto staff that makes our lives harder.
3. I don't have enough compassion. I want people to be safe and comfortable but I am not a sentimental person who enjoys being exhausted just to be a hero. And rude/ abusive patients irritate me. I am trying my best to help you, just be decent to me and that's that. I don't care if you say please/thank you but at least don't yell at me for minor things.
4. I hate how competitive the job market is. I have no desire to live a bajillion miles from my friends and family in an area I am unfamiliar with and vulnerable in just to work nights and be underpaid and get yelled at by patients and have catty coworkers. I am 4'11 and very petite and living somewhere rural all alone scares me.
I don't know if I should have become a nurse. I am tough but not that tough. I was a very sentimental and idealistic person when I started school but now that I have graduated and started working...I don't think so anymore. I don't have the usual newgrad woes of "Oh I don't think I am good enough at the tasks!".
I just think I hate nursing. I want nothing more than to work regular hours, be able to sleep at night, and to be able to live somewhere pleasant and safe with decent schools around me--ideally close to home. I don't have the patience to endure a few years of suffering before switching to a clinic job or going on for a higher degree.
I have learned that there are people who somehow managed to find careers that make a difference in peoples' lives, make a decent living, and work regular hours without going through nursing or the medical field.