I am a 20 year old 3rd year nursing student who already struggles with anxiety and depression so when I saw my first code blue yesterday and it was a 5 year old pediatric patient that didn't make it. It was a sudden thing, no history that made it expected in any way and was heart wrenching to see. I was just an observer to this experience yet I cried nearly all day after that and still picture it so much. I know it's normal to grieve for lost patients but seeing my first code, first Peds code, and first death all at once has really hit me hard. I know that many nurses can compartmentalize death of elderly better because they have had a long happy life but the child was five! When they called the code, all that was in my head was "He isn't realllly going to die, there's no way!". How do peds nurses do it???I know that a lot of nurses find strength in their religion but unfortunately this is not something that I use as I am not religious. I already had one of my first therapy sessions scheduled for tomorrow for anxiety and depression and thought that I would open up about it then for some help.So all in all, I have these questions for whoever can share their wisdom with me:1. How can I cope with this? Especially that I feel this is already too much death that I can handle and I haven't even started my career yet! 2. How can I help myself handle it better in the future? (ex. I've had people tell me that I should just tell my brain that they were just a simulation dummy)3. What how can I be HIPAA compliant and still share my experiences with a therapist? What can I share?4. Is it inappropriate as a nurse/nursing student to donate to their funeral funding page? What about going to a public viewing funeral service (I'm not planning on doing this, but I was interested in what is considered normal)?Thank you guys so much in advance, as I know you will all provide me with invaluable knowledge I can use going forward.