I just need to vent to those who might understand..


So long story short I had to see my PMD to get paper work filled out for the BON. My doc wasn't in so I had to see another provider, during the visit I was berated to a level that was highly unnecessary. She asked me how many days I had clean and I told her, gave her my paperwork (which she admittedly filled out incorrectly) and told her I also need further blood work d/t having elevated LFTs. She proceeded to order the same labs I already had completed twice before (this made the third) and told me she'd let me know the results and to see my doc in the next month. I tried to explain I already had this done, but she wasn't listening to a word I had to say. So I got a call this morning after having blood taken yesterday, advising me that I needed more blood work and UA. I proceeded to the lab after therapy today and was given a UA tag for a urine drug screen from this provider! After telling her I've been clean for a month she doubted me, thus confirming the reason I thought she had treated me as she had!! She thinks I'm still using and likely thinks I'm drug seeking or it's the reason for my abnormal labs. My chronic pain from EDS can't be the reason I actually hurt and still need something on my really bad days! I've been marked with this disease that is excusable in all forms but the type I have, and I'm beyond depressed with the way I'm being treated. As far as she's concerned I'm less than third rate pond scum, and don't deserve to be treated properly. I know I made mistakes and I'm paying for them now, but it's not excusable to treat me any less than anyone else.

Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG. Has 22 years experience.

I am SO sorry!! Something similar happened to me too but it was my old PCP - when he found out what happened, he told me he just didn't know what to think of me. Then he grabbed my breast - I told him what I thought of him - he had me taken out like the trash he thought I was - and yes, he called me that.


178 Posts

I'm glad I'm not alone, but I'm sorry that it happened to you too! We made poor choices, it doesn't mean we are bad people. It makes me sick to even think of needing to follow up with someone there!


324 Posts

HunnieBadger: i am so sorry that happened to you- it's so inexcusable, it's hard to even know what to say. so many things we have to do in this process are so very difficult & painful- it certainly doesn't help to be berated like that- particularly by a health "professional"! i was so very fortunate that my MD was totally compassionate & supportive- & remains so today. try not to dwell on this incident- just keep moving forward & do the next right thing in front of you, & keep in mind that you are striving for a new & improved you!! hopefully you have at least one person in your life that is supporting you & helping you through this!! take care- & keep us posted!!:)

subee, MSN, CRNA

4,766 Posts

Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired. Has 51 years experience.

Perhaps someone in your treatment program can recommend a better physician. The person who saw you is a quack.

Specializes in Neuro Intensive Care. Has 6 years experience.

It really stinks that you were treated that way. Nobody has the right to treat you as less of a human for what had happened to you. The problem is, there is such a stigma related to drug addiction, especially with nurses. I'll be soon returning to work and dread the comments that will be made. I just had a recent experience with the ignorance of people. I was called by first lab to give a urine sample. I went to the collection site and there was a new woman at the desk. I told her why I was there and proceeded to check in pay the cover for the visit. My samples are observed so they need to call someone over to watch me "go". When she finally called, I overheard her say take your time, he can wait. I thought nothing of it because I could wait. But then a staff member asked her a question and out loud she said "I don't care, I don't do drugs". This immediately made me feel like ****. I was brought right back to the day I got caught and wave of depression came over me. I thought to myself, I punish myself enough, I don't need someone else to kick me while I'm down. The point is, I quickly realized that she was just ignorant. Her opinion didn't matter to me and one day she'll realize that karma is a *****. No one can judge you. Your a human being just like everyone else. We all make mistakes, but as long as we learn from them, it's ok. Be confident in yourself and it won't matter what anyone else says or does.


178 Posts

I couldn't agree more with you! The way I've been treated and the ignorance I've faced has only given me greater direction. I was ready to go back to grad school right before I was caught. I'm glad in a way that this happened, because now I want to change directions to administration versus NP. I want to be there and supportive, to give second chances to RNs who deserve them. I can only hope that I'll be able to help those who faced the same woes as I have. We are all human and we all make mistakes, no matter how perfect we want to pretend we are!!!

You know, they tell us in school that science has come a long way in its thinking about the reasons behind compulsions to use drugs or alcohol, and that addiction is a disease....no different or more controllable than cancer or MS or diabetes, no? So why is it that everyone, and especially those working in health care, still look down at and treat addicts as if addiction is a moral failing?


178 Posts

Because its easier to point a finger and blame than to face their own realities. Truth is reality, society is largely ignorant and it's not just addicts that are mistreated. Look at how society outcasts mental illness, no different now than from 100 years ago!


2 Posts

Agreed. It doesn't matter how many times I say food/sex/shopping addiction is the same as drug addiction, others just don't understand.....