jwmwinter

I believe that your anger is justified. It all has to do with the stages of grief. Anger is an important part of your recovery.....a motivator. It's a true emotion that you are allowed to feel regardless of the cause. I encourage you to voice your concerns on this thread. Your anger will dissipate and you'll feel better about your situation. It just takes time. Soon you will forgive yourself and feel a weight lift off your shoulders. But for now, hold onto those feelings and use them to your advantage. One thing you should always remember, this is YOUR recovery. No one can tell you how to lead it but yourself. One last thing, the humiliation and feeling of being violated will dissolve. Always be honest with yourself and you'll do just fine. I wish you only the best. I've always believed that its not what you say, it's how you say it. So, our comments to other recovering nurses should be helpful and supportive......you know who you are.

I would definitely wait to see what the screen comes back as. Now this is my opinion, but it is backed up by research and studies. THC, if eaten, is not absorbed at full concentrations. Urine detection time is decreased significantly. There are multiple variables involved in the detection of THC ie: metabolism, body fat and amount. It also depends on the labs cut off level. If your last ingestion was 30 days ago and is not a chronic behavior, I would lean towards the test being negative. However, if you eat or smoke everyday for weeks at a time, the detection time can be as long as 45 days. Now, lets say it comes back positive and the state is notified. I would highly recommend entering the program. You could surrender your license, but you will be required to enter into treatment upon reinstatement. The BON will have this stipulation in place. If you enter the program without surrendering, upon completion of the program, NO ONE will know you were in it in the first place. There's no record that it ever existed. However, if you surrender, it will permanently show on your license. Ultimately, it's your decision. But as I first stated, wait and see what the UDS shows, then go from there......Good luck!

I'm reading this post and I have to say its quite disturbing. Everyone's reply is merely an opinion. I think everyone should remember that before posting so angrily. I'm going to play devil's advocate and respond on both sides of the issue. First, I am a nurse in recovery, but not from marijuana. There are a few posts that bother me. As far as testing positive for THC, it does stay in your system for several days and longer depending on frequency of use, so it is possible to test positive and NOT be under the influence. But it appears the main argument is why can't a nurse smoke marijuana and still practice without any problems. Regardless of what state your in, legal or not, the BON does not accept this behavior. Nurses are professionals and are relied on by people in vulnerable situations. I don't condone any drug use, and that's through experience. I appreciate everyone's argument, and each has a valid point. But the reality is, if you want to be a nurse, give up the marijuana. You'll work to hard for that title to just flush it down the drain for one joint......it's not worth it.

As well as I understand it, you are required to inform your employer of the program. However, to the best of my knowledge, NJ employers are not going to fire you unless you were diverting. I'm enrolled in PNAP, PA's program and was in rehab with a few nurses in RAMP. One was fired for diverting, the other one was not fired based on the fact that she was not diverting. NJ is very forgiving and given the circumstances of your situation, you should be fine. My question to you would be, why would you take the fall for drug possession knowing you were a nurse and you weren't in the car. I hope your friend is gracious for what you did. As far as your urine tests are concerned, they will ALL be monitored and frequent in the beginning. I wish you luck in the next five years with RAMP.

I think that is great. I hope that everything works out for you. HR is typically the deciding entity in all hires. Managers may have their "say", but each manager looks to HR for support in their decisions. I wish you the best of luck. Your personal gain through this endeavor will give hope to all recovering nurses.

I completely understand where your coming from. Although my nursing skills are more clinically based, I fear what will come when I eventually start looking for work again. I spent 5 years in a neuro critical care setting where I flourished. I think everyday about all that I through away. If I knew then what I know now. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how easily nurses fall victim to this disease. I can remember being in nursing school and having no didactic geared towards the susceptibility of nurses becoming addicts. As speak to my case worker with the state regularly and she has informed me that this disease among nurses has become an epidemic. Education is key and knowledge is power. Granted we are powerless against this disease, but we could've at least had the upper hand.

It really stinks that you were treated that way. Nobody has the right to treat you as less of a human for what had happened to you. The problem is, there is such a stigma related to drug addiction, especially with nurses. I'll be soon returning to work and dread the comments that will be made. I just had a recent experience with the ignorance of people. I was called by first lab to give a urine sample. I went to the collection site and there was a new woman at the desk. I told her why I was there and proceeded to check in pay the cover for the visit. My samples are observed so they need to call someone over to watch me "go". When she finally called, I overheard her say take your time, he can wait. I thought nothing of it because I could wait. But then a staff member asked her a question and out loud she said "I don't care, I don't do drugs". This immediately made me feel like ****. I was brought right back to the day I got caught and wave of depression came over me. I thought to myself, I punish myself enough, I don't need someone else to kick me while I'm down. The point is, I quickly realized that she was just ignorant. Her opinion didn't matter to me and one day she'll realize that karma is a *****. No one can judge you. Your a human being just like everyone else. We all make mistakes, but as long as we learn from them, it's ok. Be confident in yourself and it won't matter what anyone else says or does.

At first, I felt violated, but in time, I learned the meetings helped a lot. Perhaps you haven't found the right meeting for you. There are nurse meetings so that you will feel more comfortable around your piers. To locate these meetings, you can go onto the state board of nursing website, navigate to the recovery program's website and there should be a list of nurse meetings located throughout the state. Also, based on your post, I gather your recovering from alcohol. Have you tried NA meetings. I attend both NA & AA meetings and have found that NA meetings are more interactive and the members are very inviting regardless of what your recovering from...drugs or alcohol.

Regarding your predicament, I feel you shouldn't jump the gun quite yet. As stated above, it's difficult to wait, but that's your safest option. I also feel your honesty will play a huge part in their decision. As far as no one to talk to, the one reply was right, you have this community to talk to. Also, if you go on your state's website under the BON program, they will provide meetings just for nurses in recovery. These meetings are private, safe and secure. You can find all the support you need at these meetings. Although easier said then done, try to relax and trust that the right decision will be made. God bless.

I completely agree with catmom1. You want to be completely honest on your application. You could also state that there were extenuating circumstances and that they need to be explained in person.