I hope this doesn't offend anyone...

Published

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, it's an account of something that happened recently that I found really inappropriate. I'm so disgusted.

A patient who had a foley kept yelling that his "dinky" hurt. The nurse taking care of him said she hated the word "dinky" and was trying to teach him to say "wang" instead.

Can someone please tell me that I'm overreacting. This is really bothering me because I think it's completely unprofessional.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Heh heh, great thread Mark! This is nursing at it's finest...:chuckle

LOL

The reality of it all... :)

I get such a kick out of patients and their different personalities!

Are you a practising nurse at this time, hyper??? I was just curious, because you evoke in me a primal desire...

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It occurs to me ... maybe the more experienced nurses are considered catty because the students are "hyper" ...

Take three breaths and practice your relaxation techniques...

When I started my paramedic internship one of the first things my preceptors told me after the first call was: DON'T RUN.

This applies to lots of things...at first, it seems counter-intuitive...but, in fact, it makes a lot of sense: the adrenalin will be running at a high enough rate among providers, family and patients...not need to exacerbate it...

NurseFirst

PS Interesting...Laurie Flynn was President of NAMI for many, many, many years.

P.S.S. Hey--sorry; I missed my cue--you guys all wrote something funny...sorrreeeeee!!!! :) :) Love ya all!

Specializes in Psych.
It occurs to me ... maybe the more experienced nurses are considered catty because the students are "hyper" ...

Take three breaths and practice your relaxation techniques...

When I started my paramedic internship one of the first things my preceptors told me after the first call was: DON'T RUN.

This applies to lots of things...at first, it seems counter-intuitive...but, in fact, it makes a lot of sense: the adrenalin will be running at a high enough rate among providers, family and patients...not need to exacerbate it...

NurseFirst

PS Interesting...Laurie Flynn was President of NAMI for many, many, many years.

P.S.S. Hey--sorry; I missed my cue--you guys all wrote something

Who is Laurie Flynn?

Are you a practising nurse at this time, hyper??? I was just curious, because you evoke in me a primal desire...

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As a matter of fact, yes I am. And believe me I am the very last person you would want to go head to head with. You see, I eat complacent nurses for lunch! Now you have triggered my appetite!

Actually, I kind of see your point, but I have a big BUT: I think you may be reading a little too much into the situation. Venting on these boards about something you saw at work is quite different from running someone down at the workplace. It would, indeed, be "catty" to tell all your co-workers what a bad nurse so-and-so is because he/she did this/that. It would, indeed, be more assertive to confront the offending nurse and say something like, "I believe you were inappropriate, there, and here's why..."

But between passive/aggressive and assertive, getting on allnurses and blowing off steam is not a terrible halfway point.

In practice, not every mistake is a teaching moment. It's quite possible--even likely--that correcting the other nurse would have only created friction. The OP made a limited intervention to resolve the pain, but his judgement on the scene seems to have been that he couldn't reasonably go much farther, and I think we have to respect that.

I am not going to berate you for the use of a feline term as a perjorative, but I did write an article for our in-house newsletter on the virtues of cattiness. There's nothing passive/aggressive about my cats. As I advised my co-workers, if someone you work with offends you, don't brood about it. Pounce on them immediately, throw them to the floor, and just be sure to lick their ears afterwards, so they know you're still friends.

Yes, everyone missed my point. I am not upset, nor am I criticizing the OP for venting, I am upset that he is pointing out another nurses inability to address the pain when, in fact, he (although some attempt was made) did not address the pain as well. Looking at the issue from a legal stand point, if he saw the need to make even minimal intervention then he must have felt the client's pain was significant. Why did he not follow up on the issue? Yes, venting is one thing, but do not vent about an issue if you are part of the problem. He is no better or no worse than the nurse he is criticizing.

As far as being "catty" in the work place? I have never had the experience of a "catty" nurse nor a nurse "eating her young". I feel these behaviors are presented by a nurse who is on their way to burn out and that is nobody's fault but their own. I also feel these are personalities displayed by nurses who are insecure about their nursing skills and abilities and rather than address personal issues they seek to find fault in others, and that person is usually the newest member of the team!

I remember being idealistic...I was going to be supernurse. Save the world. I still have the scars from the one time I tried to fix something that wasn't mine to fix. Made me kinda skiddish.

And I've been upset a few times by well-meaning coworkers who did not have the whole story on my patient.

Maybe it's the beer, but I just got this mental picture of a bunch of nurses milling around, sniffing each other, growling and establishing ground.:stone

Yep that is the kind of nurse I want taking care of me or my family, the one who wanted to be a super nurse BUT DID NOT MAKE IT!

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Yes, everyone missed my point. I am not upset, nor am I criticizing the OP for venting, I am upset that he is pointing out another nurses inability to address the pain when, in fact, he (although some attempt was made) did not address the pain as well. Looking at the issue from a legal stand point, if he saw the need to make even minimal intervention then he must have felt the client's pain was significant. Why did he not follow up on the issue? Yes, venting is one thing, but do not vent about an issue if you are part of the problem. He is no better or no worse than the nurse he is criticizing.

As far as being "catty" in the work place? I have never had the experience of a "catty" nurse nor a nurse "eating her young". I feel these behaviors are presented by a nurse who is on their way to burn out and that is nobody's fault but their own. I also feel these are personalities displayed by nurses who are insecure about their nursing skills and abilities and rather than address personal issues they seek to find fault in others, and that person is usually the newest member of the team!

Okay, I'll bite: What should he have done? Address the pain how?

I wasn't there, but Mark's actions sound pretty reasonable, to me. Assess the foley. Make the patient comfortable. Report concerns to Charge Nurse. It appears to me he felt that was all he reasonably could do.

But I'll put a similar question to Mark: What should the other nurse have done differently--other than the obvious, avoiding the language lesson, which I think we can all agree was pretty goofy.

Some of the posts have taken a decidedly defensive turn, here, but I think that illustrates the key issue of nursing unity, or the lack thereof: Patient advocacy vs. being part of the team. To be sure, Mark's comments weren't very supportive of the other nurse, but, again, they were made anonymously on a discussion board, not in a staff meeting or a break room. Maybe venting is just a good way to blow off destructive impulses in preparation for more constructive actions at work.

I'm sorry--I don't know how to say this without addressing personalities, but I'll try. If it's catty to criticize another nurse behind her back, wouldn't it make sense to say so with claws fully retracted? Statements like "that's catty" or "you're part of the problem" seem, to me, aggressive in this context, and it appears a number of other posters agree. It's regrettable that some of us have wanted to show support for one poster by attacking another, but, to cite my feline analogy, I think what we are seeing is some serious indignation on the part of the pride that the vital ear-licking portion of this conflict was omitted, and that does seem a bit trollish.

Two cents? Heck, put me down for a nickel.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Yep that is the kind of nurse I want taking care of me or my family, the one who wanted to be a super nurse BUT DID NOT MAKE IT!

Ah, well, at least I can agree uneguivocally with that! I have mentioned on these boards and elsewhere that the biggest thing I've learned in nursing school is how much I don't know. So, yeah, I'd definitiely go for the nurse who doesn't know it all, but wants to, as opposed to one who sees himself or herself as a super nurse. Good point!

Dear Hyper...

My guess is that you are a new nurse, from the tone and content of your post. I'm glad that you are so, enthusiastic. That's great. It's also wise to have humility, and respect for your peers. Hopefully, that will develop as you mature...:)

Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.
Yep that is the kind of nurse I want taking care of me or my family, the one who wanted to be a super nurse BUT DID NOT MAKE IT!

Hyperstudent, you're going to get this thread closed with your negative comments. This is a really good subject - started as a vent, turning into an advocacy discussion. There's alot to be said on how far advocacy can/should be taken. Where our responsiblity begins and ends. How to get along with our coworkers. Boundaries.

If you want supernurse to take care of your family, look hard and long, because he/she doesn't exist. I'm not supernurse because I can't save THE WORLD. I can save my patient, my primary responsibility. That's not to say I don't look out for other patients, but I do pick my battles, and when to fight them.

Dear Prickly,

I'm sure you would agree that there is a delicate art to working on a floor with other nurses who have have different temperments and personalities. We have approach everyone in different ways. Workplace commaraderie is vital for overall good pt care. Maintaining that good atmosphere involves, as does everything in life, a lot of compromise, and give and take.

One thing we can't do is steamroll over other people like a bull in a china shop. Being overly confrontation just isn't in the best interest of everyone, including the pts.:)

Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.

Dear Mystery,

I do agree, 100%. I also understand that you are not implying that anybody would ever overlook a serious mistake, breach of ethics, or life-threatening situation in the interest of unit relationships. I have never seen this happen.

It's always the people who "know everything" that end up having problems. They are unable to see the other side of the story, or the reality of the situation.

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