I know this topic has been discussed on allnurses in the past but I feel that I need to let out my feelings and am looking for some advice. I started my position in an ICU in NYC on straight nights 7p-7:30a and have been doing it for 1 year and 3 months so far. Before this job I only worked days (1yr med surg and 1 yr stepdown) I always wanted to be in the ICU so I decided to make the sacrifice for night shift in another hospital and lost my seniority.
Nurses that have made the switch from nights to days on my unit have put their time in. I'm talking like 5yrs on average. People on days don't leave my unit unless they retire or move away. I LOVE my unit, my co-workers, manager etc. but don't know that I have it in me mentally, emotionally and physically to wait.it.out. for day shift.
VENT ALERT:
The hardest thing for me working night shift is that I deeply miss my husband. He is so supportive of me and I am so lucky for that but I miss him so much that I am so sad and cry most of the day before the first night I am back on duty. When I work 3 nights in a row, I don't see him at all for those 3 days. The nights we are together I have caught myself crying when he falls asleep before me because to me, its a reminder of how night shift is keeping me awake and keeping me away from having a normal life. I have a 4am crisis on the nights that I work, like what am I doing with my life, is there no other option? Nights have also made me feel so socially isolated. I barely see my friends or family anymore. Not to mention I always feel tired and guilty if I get the sleep I actually need, like I'm struggling to keep up with the rest of the world in the normalcy of daylight but losing sleep because of it. I find I tend to forget things more often. Overall, I feel depressed.
OOF. Sorry guys.
So as I see it right now, my options ARE:
1. Wait to get on day shift...
2. In my hospital we have a critical care float pool. I could gain seniority on days in the float pool and then apply for a position in my unit if it opens up. But the thing IS, whenever someone goes from nights to days on my unit there is never a position posted online. Its like it gets posted and immediately taken down, like the nurse talks to the manager and then she posts it and the person applies and gets it right away. I feel that someone who "stuck it out" in my unit on nights would get it before me... (Am I making ANY sense???)
3. Leaving the hospital to try to find a day position which is basically impossible for ICU in the NYC metro area.
Can anyone offer some advice. And, if you made it through this rant, thank you.
Hi Everyone,
I know this topic has been discussed on allnurses in the past but I feel that I need to let out my feelings and am looking for some advice. I started my position in an ICU in NYC on straight nights 7p-7:30a and have been doing it for 1 year and 3 months so far. Before this job I only worked days (1yr med surg and 1 yr stepdown) I always wanted to be in the ICU so I decided to make the sacrifice for night shift in another hospital and lost my seniority.
Nurses that have made the switch from nights to days on my unit have put their time in. I'm talking like 5yrs on average. People on days don't leave my unit unless they retire or move away. I LOVE my unit, my co-workers, manager etc. but don't know that I have it in me mentally, emotionally and physically to wait.it.out. for day shift.
VENT ALERT:
The hardest thing for me working night shift is that I deeply miss my husband. He is so supportive of me and I am so lucky for that but I miss him so much that I am so sad and cry most of the day before the first night I am back on duty. When I work 3 nights in a row, I don't see him at all for those 3 days. The nights we are together I have caught myself crying when he falls asleep before me because to me, its a reminder of how night shift is keeping me awake and keeping me away from having a normal life. I have a 4am crisis on the nights that I work, like what am I doing with my life, is there no other option? Nights have also made me feel so socially isolated. I barely see my friends or family anymore. Not to mention I always feel tired and guilty if I get the sleep I actually need, like I'm struggling to keep up with the rest of the world in the normalcy of daylight but losing sleep because of it. I find I tend to forget things more often. Overall, I feel depressed.
OOF. Sorry guys.
So as I see it right now, my options ARE:
1. Wait to get on day shift...
2. In my hospital we have a critical care float pool. I could gain seniority on days in the float pool and then apply for a position in my unit if it opens up. But the thing IS, whenever someone goes from nights to days on my unit there is never a position posted online. Its like it gets posted and immediately taken down, like the nurse talks to the manager and then she posts it and the person applies and gets it right away. I feel that someone who "stuck it out" in my unit on nights would get it before me... (Am I making ANY sense???)
3. Leaving the hospital to try to find a day position which is basically impossible for ICU in the NYC metro area.
Can anyone offer some advice. And, if you made it through this rant, thank you.