I Hate Being A Nurse, Now What?

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Hi everyone. I am feeling kind of down in the dumps lately and need some advice. I graduated from nursing school May 2020 with a BSN. Started working on a med surg floor September 2020. As a new grad I was given 2 weeks of classroom training, and 15 shifts with a preceptor before being released on my own. 

I knew from the first day I stepped onto the floor that this was not the job for me. The floor was chronically short staffed (nurses, PCAS and management) with high acuity pts who were all incontinent, turn and positions. I hated every minute of it, but was determined to stick it out as long as I could. The floor eventually turned full covid and I was utterly miserable. I had a ratio of 1:6, and there was usually 1 PCA to every 12 pts. I was so stressed and anxious all of the time. This job sucked the life out of me. I cried on my way to work, at work, on my way home from work. I would vomit from the thought of going into work the next day because I was so anxious. I lost 14 pounds because I wasn't eating. I couldn't fall asleep because I was constantly worried about everything. I had never felt like this before, my anxiety got so bad that I had an anxiety attack at work because my day was so horrible. On my days off I would either lay in bed all day or not leave the house because I was so physically and mentally exhausted. I ultimately decided to resign.

I left to go outpatient which I thought would be better for my anxiety. I thought I would enjoy it more but I don't. I absolutely hate it. As horrible as it is to say, If I never worked as a nurse again it wouldn't sadden me, it would actually be a relief to me. Many people are telling me to go back to school and get a masters in nursing. I 100% do not want to be an NP. I was thinking of going back for administration, but all of these jobs require the degree and experience. I have no interest in working as a nurse to gain this experience to eventually down the line work in administration. I feel so defeated and I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to just leave the profession all together and get a masters in another field. I feel like for me to stay in healthcare is a disservice to the pts I would be treating. They deserve someone who enjoys being there and taking care of them, someone who won't have anxiety attacks when they get stressed at work. I think I made a mistake becoming a nurse. 

Please help me, I really need some advice. 

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A lot of nurses were miserable as new graduates, myself included. On top of that, it's been an especially rough year in a lot of places. That being said, I definitely wouldn't spend more time and money on education in a field that I wasn't sure about.

It sounds like people have already given you advice, but what do you want to do? And are you still paying for your nursing education, or are you free and clear?

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I really don't want to be a nurse anymore. I am young, I can still pick a new career. My fear is that I won't and later in life I will regret not switching careers. I have no student loans or debt so I basically save everything I make. 

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Well, since you say you are young and have no debts, you know the answer to your dilemma. Don’t feel guilty. You have a right to pursue happiness or at least an existence that doesn’t elicit an anxiety attack when you go to work. Good luck.

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Now you know you don't want to do med-surg or outpatient. There are many different areas you can consider. If you have the time and the funds to go to school for something else, what would that be?

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What!!. 

I don't understand the advice being given here. There are sooo many different areas that you can use your nursing degree in that you would probably like. Jeez Louise. 

This is like some seriously immature thinking. Of course you are feeling like leaving because of your current experiences. Take a little break. Speak with someone. Assess your personality and what might satisfy you and I will bet you will find a specialty that will suit you. 

It's the beauty of Nursing. We have so many choices! So many! 

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Your story sounds like mine. I graduated May 2020 as well and I was miserable in the nurse residency program I did. I resigned, and now I am doing Peds home care which I am thoroughly enjoying!! The only stress is parents wanting things done a certain way, but that is nothing compared to the stress I experienced at the hospital. Now I wake up excited to spend the day caring for my patients. 

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Specializes in CVICU, MSICU, COVID ICU.

Same boat, sounds crazy but I’ve started flight school. Can’t take anymore of this medical crap….so over everything.

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Specializes in CNA/LPN.

What you end up doing? 

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