daisydaffodil55

I really don't want to be a nurse anymore. I am young, I can still pick a new career. My fear is that I won't and later in life I will regret not switching careers. I have no student loans or debt so I basically save everything I make.

Hi everyone. I am feeling kind of down in the dumps lately and need some advice. I graduated from nursing school May 2020 with a BSN. Started working on a med surg floor September 2020. As a new grad I was given 2 weeks of classroom training, and 15 shifts with a preceptor before being released on my own. I knew from the first day I stepped onto the floor that this was not the job for me. The floor was chronically short staffed (nurses, PCAS and management) with high acuity pts who were all incontinent, turn and positions. I hated every minute of it, but was determined to stick it out as long as I could. The floor eventually turned full covid and I was utterly miserable. I had a ratio of 1:6, and there was usually 1 PCA to every 12 pts. I was so stressed and anxious all of the time. This job sucked the life out of me. I cried on my way to work, at work, on my way home from work. I would vomit from the thought of going into work the next day because I was so anxious. I lost 14 pounds because I wasn't eating. I couldn't fall asleep because I was constantly worried about everything. I had never felt like this before, my anxiety got so bad that I had an anxiety attack at work because my day was so horrible. On my days off I would either lay in bed all day or not leave the house because I was so physically and mentally exhausted. I ultimately decided to resign. I left to go outpatient which I thought would be better for my anxiety. I thought I would enjoy it more but I don't. I absolutely hate it. As horrible as it is to say, If I never worked as a nurse again it wouldn't sadden me, it would actually be a relief to me. Many people are telling me to go back to school and get a masters in nursing. I 100% do not want to be an NP. I was thinking of going back for administration, but all of these jobs require the degree and experience. I have no interest in working as a nurse to gain this experience to eventually down the line work in administration. I feel so defeated and I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to just leave the profession all together and get a masters in another field. I feel like for me to stay in healthcare is a disservice to the pts I would be treating. They deserve someone who enjoys being there and taking care of them, someone who won't have anxiety attacks when they get stressed at work. I think I made a mistake becoming a nurse. Please help me, I really need some advice.

I feel the EXACT same way as you, you are not alone and trust me many new nurses feel like this.