I gave up and am living my best life

Healer555 · Jul 11

So sorry about your miscarriage. How ridiculous that you'd have to go through 5 years if monitoring after you finished with the court but the powers that be are lacking common sense. If not for the money I'd walk away from this garbage. Best wishes.

california_rn · Jul 12

Healer555 Thank you for your kind and insightful words ❤️ I couldn't continue with my daily heartache and high levels of stress for another 3-5 years. The money is definitely good though!

The program, lawyers, and fees were way too expensive on my end. I could've owned a house on the California coast and support my mom with those funds WOW!!

Best wishes and all my support to you! ❤️

ErikaMarie · Jul 12

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I experienced one too & it was also my last chance. I am 42. *hugs* to you. I wish I could find that balance.

NenaRN · Jul 13

I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there and know how devastating it could be.. I am currently in the monitoring program in CA. I've thought so many times of quitting because of the stress and how unfair and traumatizing this experience has been.. I was supposed to complete the program this month. But they're making changes, adding new requirements with no notice at all, keeping us stuck in this program indefinitely.. I've thought about quitting, for my mental health, it's suffering. But I don't know what I would do career wise.. would you mind sharing what you do now? Your story gives me hope, that although nursing is all I know, it's never too late to start fresh elsewhere..

california_rn · Jul 13

@NenaRN You've held so strong! With the end of your program near, it should be illegal to mandate new restrictions. I was given a 'Decision and Order' document that outlined my probation orders. That should serve as a legal document and contract that cannot be altered. I'm so sorry they are doing this to you 😞

I thought I could transition my skills in to case management, medical office manager, or something that aligned with my nursing and leadership skills. However, that didn't work out. So, back to the drawing board ... I chose real estate! I have a significant background in the business, and my interests outside of nursing are architecture and design. Also, my uncle's ex-wife and my niece are in the field so it made my decision easier. It just made sense haha! I just finished the courses and waiting to take my test to be a Realtor yay!

I hope you find relief ASAP in your journey ❤️

DYMaui · Jul 18

I experienced the CA BRN diversion program years ago & I still feel the traumatic effects of going through the program. The worst was going to the AA/NA meetings daily & having to identify as such; there IS a difference between those troubled souls who steal, divert meds from patients /the clinical setting or must drink or indulge in drug use to function and someone's lapse lack of judgment who may have gotten behind the wheel of a car after a singular episode of "happy hour.” Don't get me wrong, both extremely dangerous but which one is the true addict or alcoholic. The having to identify as such for 4 years every single day, as we had to turn in meeting documentation as proof of attendance took a toll on my psyche to the point that I felt schizophrenic, my self esteem, physical & financial health along with my professional relationships. I recently discovered some of the paperwork of this program and the trauma hit me all over again to the point of vomiting. But it was the only way to retain my license of the career that I truly love to this day.

Healer555 · Jul 18

DYMaui said:

I experienced the CA BRN diversion program years ago & I still feel the traumatic effects of going through the program. The worst was going to the AA/NA meetings daily & having to identify as such; there IS a difference between those troubled souls who steal, divert meds from patients /the clinical setting or must drink or indulge in drug use to function and someone's lapse lack of judgment who may have gotten behind the wheel of a car after a singular episode of "happy hour.” Don't get me wrong, both extremely dangerous but which one is the true addict or alcoholic. The having to identify as such for 4 years every single day, as we had to turn in meeting documentation as proof of attendance took a toll on my psyche to the point that I felt schizophrenic, my self esteem, physical & financial health along with my professional relationships. I recently discovered some of the paperwork of this program and the trauma hit me all over again to the point of vomiting. But it was the only way to retain my license of the career that I truly love to this day.

You had to go in person and daily and say you were an addict? We have to go 3x a week but can do zoom and I never say a word. Of everything we are forced to do, this is probably the least offensive and easiest for me. The meetings are free too.

I can definitely predict a PTSD for me as well when this is over.

Sanfranjflo · Jul 19

How did you explain your administrative action when obtaining a real estate license? Did they ask for an explanation or give you any trouble? I was just wondering since they ask if you have been disciplined by any professional licensing agency.

Steven Thompson · Jul 19

Sanfranjflo said:

How did you explain your administrative action when obtaining a real estate license? Did they ask for an explanation or give you any trouble? I was just wondering since they ask if you have been disciplined by any professional licensing agency.

Friend of mine had license suspended, is still in recovery and doing well 10 years later. She went into real estate. She had no issues. She told the truth about her past when she went to obtain her real estate/school and when obtaining her license on the application. She was given a license. Again, I can't emphasize enough how much those career fields and agencies Outside of nursing don't care....or at least they are Far more sympathetic than a nurse board. I know school teachers who left nursing with revoked licenses and yes, they got certified, granted licenses, and they teach. Same for real estate and same for IT, same for paralegals.

The nursing culture would WANT us to believe that nursing is the only way and this is it, other careers are not an option and there's no other way. That's a False Narrative.

DYMaui · Jul 19

Healer555 said:

You had to go in person and daily and say you were an addict? We have to go 3x a week but can do zoom and I never say a word. Of everything we are forced to do, this is probably the least offensive and easiest for me. The meetings are free too.

I can definitely predict a PTSD for me as well when this is over.

DYMaui · Jul 19

My experience happened many many years ago; Zoom meetings were developed during Covid & wasn't an option then. We were required to attend treatment center meetings twice a week, nurse support group meeting once a week & anonymous meetings 4 times a week for 36 months, then the meetings lessened to 5 days a week closer to the period of me completion. Treatment center & nurse support group had to send assessment reports regarding our active participation in these groups; you had to "share" or additional months would be added to your case. One nurse committed suicide & many lost their homes due to the inability to work for 12-18 months. I still have a somatic reaction when I recall, when given the privilege to return to work I had to have designated coworkers medicate my post op patients because I couldn't have access to narcotics; and my "drinking history " amounted to a cocktail during a special occasion or a glass of wine during holiday dinner-less than the fingers on 1 hand, but I had to identify as an alcoholic to meet the criteria for the board. A horrible experience.