I felt burnt out and I'm not even working.

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I did not have a calling when I started nursing. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school so my parents "suggested" (more like forced) nursing for me. Well close to 10 years later I feel burnt out & I'm not even working right now.

I tried so hard to get into acute care, I thought it would open so many doors and I would get to experience so much. I did experience a lot but I don't think it was a great opportunity for me. It did show me how horrible nursing is, how much time we spend away from the patient & how little we are respected. After my short stint in the hospital my health took a turn for the worse and I quickly became bitter towards my career.

I was recently diagnosed with Lupus. This was a shock to me but not very surprising. I have had muscle & joint pain since high school and ever since I had my first son I am constantly exhausted. Not just tired, but EXHAUSTED. Even if I get enough sleep plus a nap. Not to mention a whole list of other issues. Add to the eye opener of working on a med/surg floor, I am so over working as a nurse. It didn't matter what I did, how I did it, how I said it or anything. I got more respect from inmates in jails & prisons while I took care of them than from any lay people.

But I don't even know if I want or can go back to nursing. My body cannot handle working 12+ hour shifts and I have tried and tried and tried to apply to telecommuting positions but I have gotten turned down from the few I qualify for.

I use to want to bridge and dreamed of becoming and RN but the thought of going back to school just irritates me. I couldn't imagine spending more time on nursing and having to deal with more rude patients. No thank you! I wouldn't mind going back to corrections, but the prison system where I live won't hire me due to indiscretions in my past when I worked with them (nothing criminal).

I am thinking about applying for SSI, but I don't know that I would get it since my husband makes too much money. Hah. We still live paycheck to paycheck but I wouldn't qualify for SSI and I certainly don't qualify for SSDI since I haven't worked enough. I just want to be out of pain and want to quit living paycheck to paycheck.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
((( hugs ))) Indeed you are right. I usually take care of me IF I have the time. I just always feel the need to take care of everyone else first. I don't have an answer but I hope things improve. Be gentle with yourself and take things one at a time.

*hugs* Yes. I am now learning I have to make time for me because if I don't then I hurt & exhaust myself.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Getting your RN would open up a lot of other doors. I work in an elective plastic surgery OR. I work PRN, only when I feel like it. Our patients are NEVER rude. The surgeons are always happy to see me, because I'm taking a shift that their regular RNs couldn't work, and my presence means they didn't have to cancel.

It's a perfect job. And there are other jobs out there that don't take everything out of you. Working PRN saved my sanity and my health. I don't have Lupus, but I've had a lot of neck and back issues that probably go back to my ICU days of pulling and lifting mostly bed bound patients. My life improved a great deal once I went PRN.

That does sound like a dream job! I couldn't imagine working full time any more.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
If you like corrections, you *may* like psych or detox. No, I'm not comparing mental illness to being criminal! But I find in psych, if I get behind or the shift gets crazy, I rarely have to deal with the fear that some one is going to become physically unstable because a treatment is late. No one ever died on me because their Zyprexa was late.

Also, I really hate to say this, but the customer service expectation is easier. Unlike many hospitals, psych wards are not designed to be like luxury hotels. There are no TV's in the rooms, personal electronics aren't allowed, and that is fine because truly, in psych, safety is PARAMOUNT above everything else and we do not apologize for that. Unless it is gero psych, they change their own linens, have to pick up their own messes...things like that. You drop a pile of dirty tissues on the floor...well, you will be picking them up unless you are physically disabled to do so. That seems similar to corrections, but I could be wrong.

Plus, the things that have to go by the wayside in medical are actually what are important in psych...talking to patients, getting to know them, what happened in life to bring them to me. I don't get penalized for that extra emotional effort because that is literally the point of my job.

Also, we are actually encouraged to set boundaries with our patients in psych. It's part of the therapeutic environment and it's a skill we teach. If someone is yelling at me for a lemonade when I am in the middle of giving meds, I don't stop to run and grab one. If no one else is available to honor the request, I point them to the water cooler in the mean time if they are really thirsty, tell them that I cannot interrupts meds right now, and give them a time frame for when someone will be able to safely retrieve their beverage and not jeopardize patient care. Why? Because in psych, we live and breathe that safety is FIRST.

I've never been dinged for passing a med late, but you will get dinged if a patient becomes unsafe and no one noticed...because in psych, safety is King.

And finally, if you have a patient who is extra difficult, it's easy to remind yourself that they have a reason...they are in psychiatric distress, obviously. They aren't just being a jerk for no reason. It's easier to let the insults just roll of your back. And again, setting boundaries is therapeutic and a teaching opportunity...and it is encouraged.

Psych isn't for everyone, but if you enjoyed corrections, you may try psych before throwing in the nursing towel. You may find that it's right up your ally.

Best of luck with whatever you choose!

That does sound interesting & seem like I would enjoy it. Thank you!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I'm sorry you are going through all this, OC. I can't really add any more practical advice to the excellent posts above. Praying for you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I hurt for you to read about this hand you've been dealt. But these are your cards so you're gonna have to play them. I'm assuming you're under the care of a rheumatologist. First priority is your health and learning to "live" with lupus. Next, as others have advised above, don't rush into anything. The last thing you need to be thinking about right now is starting a new "career." If you can't imagine continuing in nursing, then don't. Contemplate other areas of employment that may fit your stage of life right now. Any income you generate will be a positive contribution; something that will help you financially and emotionally. Otherwise I recommend you refer to scripture, Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future." Continue with being family focused, stay strong, and have faith for your future. Thank you for sharing your journey. Please keep us updated.

Thank you! Yes, I am under the care of a Rheumatologist. I don't plan on running back into a job or school any time soon. I am still having issues with my back & don't have my Lupus anywhere near under control.

I am hoping to find a job or go back to school to find a career that fits my life once I see how I am on my meds. Whether that is going back to get my RN or choosing another path.

Thank you!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Once you have stabilized in regards to your lupus, have you thought about trying Vocational Rehab? They help people with challenges to find and train for suitable employment within their capabilities. My sister got help from them to go to college and become a legal secretary. If I could work and weren't on Social Security Disability, I'd use them too because I can't be a nurse anymore thanks to a combination of physical and mental health disabilities. Something to think about if you want a career change.

I haven't thought about that. Thank you!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I'm sorry you are going through all this, OC. I can't really add any more practical advice to the excellent posts above. Praying for you.

Thank you! *hug*

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Ya gotta know when to say when. If you can't work anymore, a good provider will help guide you through the SSID process.

Everybody gets denied benefits, the first time around. It will probably take a disability lawyer to get it done. They will take a small percentage of the benefits. Your husband's income does not matter.

Best wishes.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Varied.
Your husband's income does not matter.

I was searching the comments for this. It does not matter what your partner does, it's about you. You cannot provide due to illness, pursuing disability would be a great option for you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

thanks for sharing, it definitely hits home. Getting your RN does open more doors, as I was miserable as an LPN and thought I'd made a huge mistake...but I found that psych worked well for me, also jobs where I don't have coworkers or having to work closely with hospital physicians.

I've worked at a very small free clinic that services only employees of an electric company, where I am the only Nurse

I've worked in Psych which was awesome until a new, difficult, physician took over the ward.

Pediatric home health as an LPN was great and patient/family centered

As an RN doing on call assessments for homehealth

Also IV infusion therapy PRN and

on-call IV infusions for Private pay patients, who are very healthy and extremely appreciative

Nurses are like the football players of healthcare, which most definitely take all the hits, are disrespected by staff and patients alike, while putting health and well being on the line. My mom was a nurse for 20 years, as I traveled with her, over time we saw so many of her coworkers die in their 40s. You can burn out and not realize it. Emotional, mental & physical stress are equally dangerous.

Best of luck, if you're willing to relocate and or further your education, you do have options. Don't be afraid to give it another try, though I know you're exhausted. Push through.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Ya gotta know when to say when. If you can't work anymore, a good provider will help guide you through the SSID process.

Everybody gets denied benefits, the first time around. It will probably take a disability lawyer to get it done. They will take a small percentage of the benefits. Your husband's income does not matter.

Best wishes.

Yeah, I know my work history is terrible. Most days I think nursing isn't for me. I just don't feel like I fit in, in the nursing field.

I don't qualify for SSDI, I haven't worked enough so I don't have enough credits. I only qualify for SSI & with SSI my husband's income I won't qualify as a couple can only make $1,125/month. I can get a lawyer but there's no denying or getting around that fact.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I was searching the comments for this. It does not matter what your partner does, it's about you. You cannot provide due to illness, pursuing disability would be a great option for you.

I believe you are confusing SSDI & SSI. I do not qualify for SSDI as I have not worked enough & do not have enough credits. With SSI there is a limit on how much one person can make per month ($750) & a couple ($1,125). My husband makes more than $1,125 so even if I get a lawyer there is no way to get around the fact that my husband makes over $1,125/month.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment