I feel like nursing is not my thing...

[neeke816]

Okay, I've been in med/surg nursing about 10 months...

I had made some stupid mistakes but not too serious so far, but I made 2 big mistakes in a row on Thursday.

That night was the busiest night I've ever experienced..

Pt 1. He was uncontrolled DM, and supposed to go to surgery, but refused sign any consents, which is fine...

His glucose was over 500 (it was running high over 400 all day), and I meant to tell a charge about it after I gave him his scheduled insulin/lantus shot, but before I told her, she came up to me, and told me that I have to prioritize more wisely, which put me on shame.. After that, I called Dr. and got orders 1) Check his glucose every one hr, 2) Give 10 units of IV insulin every one hr until his glucose is less than 300. It's ICU stage order, and I was getting transfer from other unit too, so it was just like hell already...

Pt 2. Very confused DNR patient with RR over 30, oxygen sat 81%, very clammy and wet.. I really worried that I might lose him that night. The bad thing is Dr. ordered him bipap, and I gave him PO Ativan to calm him down, since he kept pulling his mask off, but I didn't know that I can't give PO meds to Bipap pts, since nobody ever told me or maybe I forgot...

Luckily my charge caught me right after, so I took off his bipap, and thank god, no chocking or anything. However, somebody called me when I was about to give him his veni mask, and I totally forgot to put him back with oxygen!!! Lucky again, my charge caught me again, and no harm to patient, and his oxygen sat/ABG was much better later, but I felt really ashamed and stupid... I could cause really serious troubles!!! I was really busy between pt 1 and this pt 2, but that can't be an excuse, and I feel like bedside nursing is probably not my thing..

Pt3. His BP was 200/70... I gave him Dilaudid and he was asymptomatic, and it came down to 160/60..but that was stressful when I was in middle of pt 1 and 2.

Pt4. I was getting a tranfer from PCU, so that was busy, and I forgot to put her on telemtry until my charge told me so..

Pt5. His PCA wasn't working and kept beeping!!!

So, I had the worst night shift I've ever had... It was the worst, I had some bad nights for real, but that one was really bad, and I was sooooooooooooooooooooo ashamed of my stupid mistakes... I feel so incompetent, stupid, and worrying about getting some warning or fired from my job. I have to go back to work this Monday, but I'm really afraid of going back and so disappointed by myself...

[chybabe]

I totally feel your pain. I 've had similar experience when i was a med-surg nurse.Now, i'm doing what i love to do at my own pace too. If you don't feel comfortable, find something you love. I don't think you are stupid at all. Things like these do happen. At least you've learned from them.

[MommyandRN]

In my hospital, pts 1, 2 and 3 all met criteria for the "rapid response" team to be called. Unstable vital signs, very high blood glucose, o2 sat of 81.... those are things that you should not be dealing with by yourself. One or all of those patients should have been dealt with by a RRT and possibly transferred to higher level of care. I am guessing your hospital doesn't have a RR team in place? That is unsafe for a general med/surg floor to be dealing with those issues with 5-6 pts.

[deftonez188]

I've had days similar to yours, and the resulting, "I can't be a nurse anymore," feelings following thereafter. You will have at a later date, another day in which you feel like a rockstar nurse - you did everything right, caught a few serious problems, saved a life, and feel awesome for it.

You'll likely feel a little funk for a bit thereafter, but as cliche as it sounds, it IS a learning experience. Give yourself a bit of time before you write yourself and all your hard work as 'not cut out', ok?

[Mrs. SnowStormRN, RN]

I went from LTC to MedSurg and I really struggled there. I knew that MedSurg wasn't for me. I was there a little less than a year before I moved on. I think MedSurg is a difficult floor. We all make mistakes, it's what makes us hypervigilant and just take it as a learning experience. I wish you much luck!

[neeke816]

Once again, I really appreciate all of your supports!! It means a lot to me!!!

To. Eriksoln & AOx1

Yes, I do have my own master sheet with time frame, and I do usually make check marks and everything, so I don't forget and don't run behind. However, that night was truly a hell night, and I even couldn't finish my assessment until midnight(I usually finish my assessment around 2100 at least)!!!

Everyone was looking for me, including my CNA, other patients, and doctors, so I was really busy and running like a crazy hen without head!!! Also, I'm relatively a new nurse without much experience, so I sometimes misjudge or simply don't know... I hope these experiences make me a stronger nurse...

To. chybabe

I usually feel okay, not super comfortable, but at least under control, but that night was almost beyond my limit!!! I hope I've learnt a lot from the hell night.

To. Mommyand RN

We do have RRT, but we use RRT when doctors don't give us reasonable orders, and my hospital is a small community hospital with limited ICU/PCU beds. Pt1's glucose was baseline over 400 during the day, and pt2's O2 sat was getting 100% and ABG was great after bipap, pt3's BP came down to 160/60 after 1mg Dilaudid.. I guess they truly needed my full attention, but things were getting stabilized, I guess we would send them to either PCU or ICU, if things were not getting better after all those treatment??

[neeke816]

To deftonez 188 & Mrs SnowstromRN

I utterly appreciate your support and kind words. I'm still bit intimidated and disappointed by myself, but I guess time is the best remedy for everything. I will just work out hard, watch some good comedy movies, sleep good, and go back to work tomorrow!!! I definitely learnt a lot from this experience, and I hope I would be a stronger nurse!!!

[Bhavana]

Aww, you poor thing. First of all, don't be so hard on yourself. I don't blame you for your "stupid" mistakes. I blame the hospitals. Too many patients, too much to do, especially for a newer nurse. Reading stories like yours reinforces my decision to not be a bedside nurse. I don't even like doing that kind of care, never enjoyed clinical in school, not for one moment. I am very sensitive to the stress of others, and just working besides overstressed nurses in clinical would have me nothing but a bundle of nerves at the end of the day. I hated it. I don't see how anyone could love all that running around like a maniac, trying to get everything done on time, keep every detail straight and not forget anything, with barely a spare moment to even talk to a patient, or to do the things that made us want to be nurses in the first place. Not for me, no thanks.

As for you, you need to be concerned about your mistakes, but not beating yourself up. For now, maybe keeping lists would help? Get a notepad that fits in your scrub pockets and write everything down, even notes for things like "dont forget to put so and so back on oxygen" Even nurses who have been working for years keep lists. Not everyone has the memory of superman! And maybe for the long term, look into other areas of nursing. That is one of the best things about nursing. Get the medsurg experience in the first year or so, then move on to something else.

Good luck to you!

[neeke816]

I just appreciate all of you guys sweet and kind support!!!

Yes, I had a hell night, and yes, I'm still blaming myself and little bit afraid of going back to work, but I guess this experience can make me a stronger nurse!!!!! I still like Med/surg, even though it could make your nights little miserable sometimes, I do like to communicate with my pts and help them...

Anyway, god bless you all, you guys really helped me to get through this!!!

ps. One small question about HIPPA, since my other nursing friend is frantic about this. I din't use any of real pt's name or any specific clues that you can guess pt's identity, so I think my thread is nothing against HIPPA, but my friend was worrying about it. I think I didn't violate any HIPPA, but just want to check...

[Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN]

Two things came to mind for me:

1. I notice a trend with a lot of these threads that have a "I don't like nursing anymore" theme to them: Most of the topic creators are either working M/S or LTC. Do with that what you will.

As a LTC nurse I totally agree and notice that.. even where I work. The CNAs who are in nursing school sometimes see what **** what have to put up with and say to us, "Is this all worth it?"

I think that way too sometimes. We all have bad shifts OP, even 10 months into the job. Remember you are still a new grad even though you are off orientation and been flying free for a few months already. You still have a lot to learn and hell even 1 year and a couple months later.. I still feel clueless at times and have bad shifts where nothing goes right and nobody wants to cooperate with me. Just keep pushing through. Take what you did wrong, learn from it.. and move on. So when it happens in the future, you'll know what to expect and how to handle the situation.

[PinkRocksLikeMe]

I don't think you violated hippa. You did not use names, just scenerios of what your patients S/S and chief complaint....You are OK...

I hope today has brought a renowned confidence in yourself again. You went to school for a long time, worked very hard to be a nurse. Your night sounded awful and you can tell you are one of those people that accepts what mistakes you made and THAT is critical. The ones that say well I did X Y Z because someone else did this, that is a person that doesn't want to learn and grow as a nurse, just to shift blame. I have a whole lot more respect for someone that says "hey I screwed up" and listens to the VALUABLE insight these nurses can give, to become a better nurse.

Give yourself some credit girlie...You are gonna be a AWESOME nurse....

Jenn