I feel like nothing clicks in my mind, and that I made a mistake...

[PianoTiles]

I’m a second semester student. Last semester was so difficult and I barely passed, and that’s because my final grade was rounded. I struggled in lab, lecture, clinical...I felt like I was a mess, and it really made me question my common sense and intelligence. It made me question my choice in majoring in nursing. I started to contemplate switching majors and I still am tbh.

I just feel overwhelmed all the time. The amount of material is a lot to digest, and then clinicals overwhelm me because I feel like I never know what I’m doing. I still fumble with bed baths(I feel as if I’m not organized enough and I tend to take too long imo). There’s always a fear inside me when I’m turning a patient because I’m scared that I’m doing it wrong or I’m hurting them. I’m still shaky on what I’m supposed to do/ allowed to do as a student. And I’m scared with transferring patients as well as I’m afraid that they will fall. I don’t feel confident in what I’m doing at all. It’s awful. And for my school, clinicals are only one day a week from 7 to 12, then from 12 to 1 we have post conference. So about 5 hours being on the floor. And I always feel lost. Everybody is sitting there talking about their patients in post conference and I’m struggling to connect the dots, struggling to connect key concepts and I just feel so stupid. I feel disconnected from everything now, in both clinical and lecture. I don’t know how else to explain it.

In lecture I struggle to connect concepts as well. The answers that I get for different scenarios and situations always seem to be so far off from what the ideal answer should be. I feel like my brain isnt built to understand this stuff. Almost like I’m trying to fit a square peg into a round hole so to speak. and it makes me sad because I always wanted to be a nurse and spent so much time getting good grades for my pre reqs, only to end up struggling all the time. So many people in class seem to be so confident in clinical and think of clever ways to deal with situations and answer with the correct answers during lecture...and I always feel like I’m lagging behind. I’ve never felt like this in school and I don’t know how to handle it.

I’m at a point where I can’t fathom caring for a patient in any shape way or form and I feel like I don’t belong in nursing school and I need to major in something else. I’ve always known that nursing was hard and it entailed caring for people, but nursing school has opened my eyes as to just what that truly can entail and I’m terrified. I’m terrified that I’m not smart enough, terrified that if so become a nurse I’ll be incompetent and not confident. I’m scared to have someone’s life in my hands and I feel like I want to jump ship and I’m ashamed for feeling that way. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve always struggled with anxiety, depression and my self esteem and I feel like nursing school is just making it worse. And if I feel this way when I’m a student, what if it gets ten times worse working as an actual nurse?

I wanted to be a nurse because I like helping people, I think the human body is really interesting to learn about and for practical reasons as well(job stability, livable salary, etc) and plus it seems like good, honest work. But again, maybe I’m not cut out for it.

Has anyone else felt like this?

[JKL33]

38 minutes ago, PianoTiles said:

I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve always struggled with anxiety, depression and my self esteem and I feel like nursing school is just making it worse. And if I feel this way when I’m a student, what if it gets ten times worse working as an actual nurse?

Hello PianoTiles,

Although we cannot give medical advice here, everything about your post suggests that it might benefit you to speak with your PCP about your feelings/history of anxiety/depression as a first step to pursue pronto.

It's possible that you have it exactly right - that you have always struggled along (with anx/dep) and now this new significant stressor has tipped what was a precarious balance.

Avoid making final judgments about your capabilities without first addressing the reasonable concerns you have mentioned about your health.

Best wishes ~