I'm going to preface this by saying I'm only venting and don't mean to come across as overly harsh.
My daughter's friend (she is) is on her cheerleading squad, and the friend's mom has a son who is 9 and plays football. Both kids are seriously overweight/obese. Friend's mom tells me today she took him to the dr. to get a physical before playing sports and his cholesterol came back 260. The kid has asthma as well.
Seriously, am I the only one who gets a bit annoyed with parents about things like this?? I mean, I know, some people don't understand or know any better, some kids have medical problems etc. But this truly drives me crazy- parents are in control of what their kids eat, and to do this to their kids- cause health problems because they can't figure out not to feed their kids crap and to get them out from in front of the TV... I just find it completely unacceptable. Its all very easily preventable.
I don't mean to come off as insensitive, and my reaction was supportive and I was respectful and tactful and suggested some things that might help (reducing fat, reducing packaged foods, more veggies/fruits, less sugar, and more exercise), but seriously on the inside I was really annoyed.
Here is the thing- you don't have to be the food/activity police to raise kids who aren't obese.
It really, really is not difficult to raise kids who aren't overweight or obese. I've managed to do it with out much thought or aggravation put into it. From the beginning, when my kids ask for stuff thats junk (ie at the store or at home) 95% of the time I say no. By junk I mean chips, soda, candy etc. Sometimes its in the house, sometimes not. They just have always known not to expect to eat it. But they are normal kids- yes we have popsicles, ice cream, chips, etc- but its just not very frequently. Like I just bought a giant pack of popsicles at the store yesterday- the kids asked for one after lunch and I let them have it both yesterday and today. But it will probably be another month or two before I buy another box. Its a treat- those foods are meant to be treats- not part of an everyday diet. Because I've not made it part of an everyday diet they are just as likely to ask me for a nectarine(happened this am) or like my oldest just came and asked if she could eat some carrots. Do they eat prepackaged foods, McDonalds etc? Heck yes- but its not daily, or even weekly. We are not the picture of a completely healthy lifestyle. They watch tv, we eat processed foods- but its balanced, as much as we eat processed foods we eat healthy stuff too, probably more, to be honest. As much as they watch tv, they do other stuff too. They know to ask before reaching for something to eat, and they know if they are thirsty my answer will always, 100% of the time be for them to get some water. Occasionally I'll buy juice boxes, and they typically drink milk with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but in between its water.
And for those who say their kids just eat more- I frequently say "no more, you've had enough"
People don't have to be the health police to raise normal kids with out the range of health problems that come with obesity.
My daughter's friend (she is) is on her cheerleading squad, and the friend's mom has a son who is 9 and plays football. Both kids are seriously overweight/obese. Friend's mom tells me today she took him to the dr. to get a physical before playing sports and his cholesterol came back 260. The kid has asthma as well. ........
Just venting, looking for thoughts.
I know you are venting, but at least the mother is making an attempt at keeping her kids active and is taking them to the physician-checking their health! There are so many kids that are not moving or being cared for!
It's hard to be the parent of an overweight kid....I actually changed pediatricians because I got tired of hearing my children were in the 99th percentile! Both my kids weighed a ton-they were solid and could knock you over. They were tall, and heavy-but the same size as everyone else. They played sports, and are tall-good German/Irish/Scottish stock....I used to tell the 4'11" doctor that charts included stats from average people....my kids would never be mistaken for average-both kids were almost 9 lbs at birth-I am 5'8", my ex 6'4" we aren't small people in frame or height....of course my kids would be big!
Anyway, my kids would get chubby then GROW....they have huge appetites....are now in college, and work out like fiends....my daughter is on a Division 1 sports team-they work out 40 hours perweek! She hasn't lost a pound in 3 years! 5'10" long, muscled, lean, muscular size 10-almost 200lbs! Crazy huh?
I truly believe pounds don't matter it's the shape you are in-and skin folds measurements. Anyway, todays choices in food, working parents, lack of extended family, lack of outside time, and no gym in school help create this situation. Fat kids need your support, and encouragement. I always told my kids to be inclusive, and called them on any disparaging comments I heard about others in my presence.
Remember parents, any attitude you have will be held by your children....inclusiveness, may actually encourage those others to engage in sports or try new things. It may start with your kid offering to play with them.
For those without kids, I was told that every normal baby born is a "miracle" , I consider this to include as they grow, every kid that is coordinated, socially integrative, friendly, included and anything else.
I was lucky....both kids were smart, had friends, played sports, played music, were artistic, were scouts and did it all well! I couldn't have asked for two better kids! For their chubby periods....I loved them the same and encouraged them to be who they were!
Having a child with weight issues is one thing. Having a child who is morbidly obese from eating family size packages of snacks, drinking half liters of mountain dew, and being sedentary is another thing.
my dtr weighed a booming 30 lbs when she was a yr old.
yet she was very active, didn't eat sugary foods so we just monitored.
hubby, who is a choco-junko-holic, was not permitted to feed our children this junk...
maybe in a blue moon.
all my kids have been involved in sports and other activities, and, they have observed dad to be physically active and on the go-
while they have observed me to lift weights, all their lives.
while no one is overweight, my teens do reach for the junk food.
it is something hubby and i argue about.
if i had my way, there'd be none in the house.
as it stands, we take turns doing the food shopping.
ed one week, me the next.
as a result, the kids eat their junk food in moderation.
but thankfully, hubby is trying to be much more conscientous in what he shops for and cooks.
and i just bought a juicer, with goals to make delicious, healthy veggie and fruit smoothies.
since my boys and me don't like green veggies (they got that from mom:rolleyes:), they will have to drink a glass of this veggie gunk on a daily basis, IF there's to be any junk food in the house.
we negotiate and compromise.
and hopefully they will pass on their habits to their children.
My daughter went through a phase where she was overweight (though not obese). She was always a skinny little girl, but her weight went up when she went through puberty. It turns out that once we switched her medication from Depakote to Lamictal for her seizures, she lost about 20 pounds in a month, and is down to her normal, slim self.
Yes, most kids who are overweight are just not living a healthy lifestyle, but others have issues which can't be explained by a poor diet. The thing is, you can't really tell by looking which is which.
Also, I know I've read that the food is less an issue for overweight kids than the lack of physical activity.
The fact is that some kids have a natural tendency to be heavier, and if you don't have one then it's super easy to say that it's the simplest thing in the world to keep your kids thin. I have 5 kids and 4 of them are naturally thin...one has a tendency to be a little heavier. I'm not talking obese by any means, but she is my oldest and I by far was the most "anal" with her regarding foods she could/couldn't eat, tv, etc. and she is the one who tends to be heavy. I have put her in every sport imaginable...she would rather do almost anything BUT watch tv, we have a very moderate (we're not fanatic health food ppl, but we don't have much junk food around ever) diet. And yet, here she is.
My first two kiddos are 1.5 yrs apart and my 2nd is extremely, extremely petite. So picture me going to the ped and being told to feed my 3 yr old whole milk, milkshakes, butter on her bread, etc. and in the same breath being told to try to be more restrictive with my 4.5 yr old. It's pretty crazy. Kids come in different sizes and neither me nor my dh was an overweight kid, but talking to others that were they ALL tell us not to nag constantly or severely limit food b/c it just made them crave it more.
Just want to say there's no magic pill and it isn't as simple as it may seem to ppl who haven't had a child who tends to be heavier. At the same time, we have always consistently encouraged a healthy lifestyle for ALL our kids...and as my oldest grows up she is thinning out so we shall see...
Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med surg, oncology.
When I have kids: TV will be restricted to an hour each day, READING will be encouraged, and they will have no fast food unless under some unforeseen circumstance. Definately no soda either.
It's possible to do.
I have three kids, the eldest being 23 and we didn't have a TV until he was 5. Never let the other two watch more than 30 minutes a day. Reading and outdoor activities strongly encouraged. Junk food (except for my chocolate habit) was virtually nonexistent. Meals mostly homemade from scratch and I never made them clean their plate. I believe kids will make good choices when given healthy options. My kids are now 23, 15, 13. Non are anywhere near overweight. When it comes right down to it weight = energy consumed vs energy spent.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
As a Baby Boomer, I find the obesity epidemic among American children and teens both terrifying and fascinating. It's a multifaceted problem with multiple causes, hence there is no simple solution. But having grown up in a time when very few children had weight problems, I have a few pet theories about the issue.
1) Portion sizes have grown immensely (pun intended) over the past 40 years. When I was a child, Coca-Cola came in six- and twelve-ounce bottles; the Quarter-Pounder didn't exist; even packaged cereal boxes were tiny. We just didn't eat big portions of ANYTHING, and we didn't have junk food available to us 24/7. I think that makes a lot of difference.
2) Physical activity was a part of everyday life back then. We had recess twice a day in grade school and daily PE in the higher grades; kids who lived within a mile of the school usually walked; we rode bikes and built forts and went swimming in the nearest creek or water hole. We were out the door right after breakfast, and we usually stayed out until the street lights came on at dusk. Nowadays you can't blast kids off the sofa with a stick of dynamite.
3) Drugs. There seem to be an awful lot of kids on medications which, while well-intended, often turn them into slugs. I'm not denying that there is such a thing as attention-deficit disorder---with or without hyperactivity---but I think way too many kids get labeled with this diagnosis and put on medications for the convenience of teachers and principals who want them to sit quietly for hours on end instead of getting up, stretching, making noise, and otherwise doing KID things.
4) TV, video games, computers etc. Of course we had TV when I was young, but there was no such thing as XBox, let alone home theaters, DVDs, or the Internet. Who wants to build a go-cart from scratch when you can drive cool-looking vehicles on a virtual freeway?
5) Poor role models. By that I mean parents like myself, who HATED gym class in high school and developed the philosophy of "I don't have to go to phys ed anymore and nobody can make me". Too many of us, traumatized by long-ago experiences of being picked last for team sports and laughed at for our clumsiness, never seem to recover from it, and thus we neglect our bodies' need for exercise. So our kids see us sitting on the sofa, vegging out in front of the TV each night after work, and all too often they join us there.
I find this whole thread quite amusing honestly. It reminds me of how much I have changed as a parent over the last 14 years.
Before I had my son I was going to be the most strict and not allow him this or that "for his own good" and "for good manners and good health" yadda yadda yadda. No TV, no sweets, no video games, blah blah blah.
Before my 1st daughter I was going to eat only healthy organic food, breastfeed her until eternity, make her baby food homemade and never let her eat a single french fry or potato chip or bite of sweetened cereal.
Well now I have 3 children, ranging in ages from 13 to 8 mos. Sure I could have stuck to any of the philosophies I've come across or thought about throughout the years. I could "spare the rod, spoil the child" or I could let my child run free untethered or anything in between. Its your right as a parent to do whichever end of the spectrum you see fit, short of abuse.
But I gotta tell ya... being mommy is SO much more fun when you take the middle road. We don't ever "keep" junk in our house. We buy it on Friday every other week, have it after dinner a couple of nights, and then its gone for two weeks. Our kids do not drink soda ever, because the 13 yr old has a hyper reaction to most kinds. We eat pizza and burgers and all that. IN MODERATION. We don't ever make our kids leave the table hungry (sorry but I think that is pretty darn close to child abuse). We encourage activity and restrict being "plugged in" when it gets out of hand or our children show a negative side effect (not sleeping enough one night because my son was up watching cartoons and thus unable to function the next day at a family event, or being short tempered because he was being bugged by his sis when he was "gaming" or whatever). But we do allow video games and television and junk food. We do not make a huge deal of it, and we stress to our children that BALANCE and MODERATION are the key to most things in life. We teach this principle across the spectrum...not just in regards to food but in all aspects of life.
To be quite blunt, this thread really frustrates me. The snap judgement of someone else's child (you are not w/ them 24/7 to know exactly what is going on... a LOT of overeating issues are not because "momma feeds me doritos for breakfast"... what if this child was molested at a young age and is working with a counselor or whatnot, but a side effect is "stuffing himself"... you have no idea, and parents should not have to apologize for their kids not being what you believe is the "right look"...would you have this kid wear a sign so that people understood why he is the way he is? I'm sorry but a soda at half time is not enough to make a kid obese... )
and the "when I have kids even-though-I-have-zero-clue-as-of-today commentary is like me telling a crack head to just put the pipe down and walk away. Its easy right? I mean, IF I WAS A CRACK ADDICT I WOULD JUST STOP right?? Of course not having ever BEEN a crack addict, I really can't possibly imagine the process of getting straight.
IMO... get your kids focused on LIFE and find out what interests THEM and stay involved. Forcing your child do eat/not eat/exercise is just going to make them resent it and possibly you. (please spare me the "spare the rod" philosophies if they are welling up for some of you) Kids eat for a lot of reasons... find out what they are and help them chose better activities. My kids eat out of boredom or when it is something they think is a "treat". Keeping them active and engaged (not forcing exercise...really engaging them) pretty much solves the food issue for us. But that is just what works for my family not always someone else's. Walk a mile first.
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Tweety, BSN, RN
36,258 Posts