I'm going to preface this by saying I'm only venting and don't mean to come across as overly harsh.
My daughter's friend (she is) is on her cheerleading squad, and the friend's mom has a son who is 9 and plays football. Both kids are seriously overweight/obese. Friend's mom tells me today she took him to the dr. to get a physical before playing sports and his cholesterol came back 260. The kid has asthma as well.
Seriously, am I the only one who gets a bit annoyed with parents about things like this?? I mean, I know, some people don't understand or know any better, some kids have medical problems etc. But this truly drives me crazy- parents are in control of what their kids eat, and to do this to their kids- cause health problems because they can't figure out not to feed their kids crap and to get them out from in front of the TV... I just find it completely unacceptable. Its all very easily preventable.
I don't mean to come off as insensitive, and my reaction was supportive and I was respectful and tactful and suggested some things that might help (reducing fat, reducing packaged foods, more veggies/fruits, less sugar, and more exercise), but seriously on the inside I was really annoyed.
Please, please, PLEASE---if you do not want your daughter to weigh 300 lbs someday, you MUST let go of the need to control every bite she puts in her mouth!!
I speak from experience: My mother, who was part of the "diet culture" of the sixties, obsessed over my size and weight long before I ever had a weight problem, which led to MY becoming obsessed as well. I was always a big, if not gluttonous eater, but as a child and teenager I was naturally curvy and athletic, and I burned off everything I ate. But she was so fearful that I'd get fat that she almost literally drove me to the refrigerator with her constant nagging and criticizing........and "If I weren't watching you, you'd weigh _____ pounds". I was a size 7 and she wanted me to be a 5. When she wasn't with me, she'd have somebody 'spy' on me to make sure I wasn't overeating, which of course I did every chance I got, because I liked food and was obsessed with what I couldn't have.
So I never learned how to listen to my body, how to choose foods and eat what I wanted in moderate amounts. From my mother's approach, I learned only to eat everything in sight because I might not get another chance at it.....and as a result, I wound up weighing OVER 300 lbs. And that was AFTER I'd spent some quality time as a practicing bulimic in my late teens, after 500 diets and countless attempts to control my appetite.
Yes, I feared for my own kids too---but I decided I'd rather see them heavy than develop my unhealthy attitude towards food. Within reason, I allowed them to choose foods and indulge in "treat" foods; I didn't obsess about the numbers on the scale, and I have NEVER nagged or criticized..........thankfully, only my eldest ended up obese, and I'm pretty sure much of that is due to having two babies in quick succession and eating so much refined white pasta and bread at home because they are cheap.
Sorry if my advice is so blunt, but if it can help save you---and especially your daughter---from making an enormous mistake that can affect her the rest of her days, please accept it in the manner in which it was meant. We cannot micromanage our daughters in this fashion and expect them to grow up with a healthy attitude toward their bodies. It just doesn't work out that way. I'm living proof.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I had just the opposite problem with my youngest daughter. She was so thin I thought I would be declared an unfit mother, so I literally spoon fed her when she was a pre schooler, and when she was growing up, I told her she had to eat a part of whatever vegetable we were having even if it was only a teaspoon full. She is still tiny and always will be. It's in her genes.
On the other hand, my oldest daughter has an endocrine problem, and even gets diabetes where she has to take insulin when she's pregnant. She has now had all she is going to have, and I'm thankful. She's too high of a risk patient when pregnant. Both deliveries proved that. She lost so much blood with the second delivery, she had to have 2 units of blood. She, my mother, my grandfather, were and are all overweight. I grew up thin, but during my second pregnancy I gained some weight, but after my baby was born, I was able to lose it again. I yo yo dieted and exercised a lot throughout my younger years, but after I suffered a PE and steroid induced myopathy in 2001, from being given massive amounts of steroids, to reverse status asthmaticus, I got extremely weak, yet gained a lot of weight which I continue to retain even though I'm on a low salt, low fat, sugar free diet now. So I have decided it isn't all our faults after all, and if someone doesn't like how I look then they can look the other way. It won't bother me.
morte, LPN, LVN
7,015 Posts
yes, yes , yes, yes, yes,,,,,,,,,,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!