I Bomb Out!!! Need Advice

Hello,

I am soo upset:o I failed my exam in Nursing 102 and A&PII, I use to be the student that studies (not as much as I should) and Pass, Well thats caught up to me!!!

I know that Im not spending enough time studing... how do I get the time in, Everyone says Im the lucky one because I dont work. Well they are wrong, I have a 8month old and a 4year old son that drives me crazy!!! then my 13year old and my 9 year old are in school. when they come home I have to help my daughter!

The two that are not in school keep me busy all day (like a full time job) something has to change.. OR I will be kicked out of the nursing program!!!

Im soo upset about this !!! Can anyone make any suggestions???

[CarVsTree]

Hi Born2Be,

When do you go to school if your kids are a FT job during the day and your older kids come home in the evening?

If you cannot find time to study for your nusing and other courses, I would suggest getting ALL of your pre-reqs done and than doing the nursing program.

I study when my 2 year old is asleep. I'm finishing my pre-reqs currently so I'm not juggling nursing courses with other courses.

I will have Intro. to Nursing and A&P II next semester. I think this is a maximum load for a mom with a toddler and a pt job.

I will take Dev. Psych, Speech Comm, and Ethics & Morals in the summer sessions. This is all I can accomplish at a time and still be a good mom.

You say your little ones are driving you crazy, please don't blame them, they're just being little ones. I hope you find a way to cope. Perhaps you could hire someone to help you as a Mother's Helper. I wish I had more to offer. Maybe someone else will have more to offer you.

[Born2BAnurse]

thanks for your advice... I go to school parttime at night on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4pm to 10pm and every other weekend I do my clinicals. I am in a LPN program.. I need to be able to work this out some kind of way..

[AmyLiz]

My suggestion would be to get a baby sitter for a couple hours a couple days a week (at least). Then get yourself to the library and crack down.

[fnimat1]

I know exactly how you feel. I don't start my nursing program until next Fall so currently taking A & P 2 this semester in the evenings. I also have 4 children...2 dd's who are 9 & & and 2 son's who are 2 1/2 (3 in December) and 9 mths. So it's very hard...I find myself wondering how I'm going to study and also be the wife and mother to all these other people...:stone I wish I could offer you some adcvice but the truth is I'm trying to make it through. The only thing that I know to be true is to stick to a schedule. This has kept me halfway sane thus far.

Many hugs,

Fatima

[Born2BAnurse]

fatima, I was thinking of putting some structure into my sons day. I dont know about the 8month old. But If I can get him on a schedule then maybe I can get some studing done. He is not the type of child to just play alone.

I wish I can study at night But im sooo tired that I fall asleep. I was thinking about studing from 8pm to 11pm every night..

[Nusss]

Hello! I guess the best advice i can give you is to study early in the morning before your little ones wake up. And i think hiring a babysitter for so many hours a weeks would help alot. If you cant afford that, maybe if you have family that could help you out with your children. I know it is really hard, I have a 13 yr and a 7 yr old. I started school when my 7 yr old was 6 months. I worked a fulltime job also. Iam a single mom so i know it is a struggle to juggle all these things. Good luck you can do it!!!

JoAnn,prenursing student

[SirJohnny]

Born2BAnurse:

- The situation you describe is known as "conflict resolution."

- So, how do you resolve "conflict"?

1. Set priorities.

- Do you want to take care of kids or get an education.

2. Set boundaries:

- How much time for kids.

- How much time for class.

- How much time for yourself.

- In reality, it all boils down to how bad you want to be a nurse.

- I've mentioned this before. For A&P -- you will need around 3 hours a day for studying. Others on this board have provided several study-aid suggestions.

- I am not in nursing school yet - but figure you will need around 3 hours/day for studying for that class.

- So let's round it out to an even 5 hours/day for studying. This is in addition to your class schedule and writeups/research.

------------

- That being said. You need to adjust either your class load or personal life (hubby/kids) to satisfy the above requirements. It's a matter of "balancing the load" or as stated above "conflict resolution". You need to say "enough is enough" to kids.

- The younger ones can go in a play-pen. They don't like it -- then tough! They'll eventually quit crying. The older ones can clean house and help out with younger kids. Fun part --- you can punish the older kids if they screw up. Again, they too will eventually quit crying.

- Onto the hubby thing. Men are driven by three things. Sex, Money and Food. All you have to do is hit one of the three and the old boy will be happy. So, call Domino's Pizza -- they should be on your speed dial -- and get him a pizza...don't forget the Crazy Bread.

-----------

- Next. Are you willing to make the 5 hour/day time committment. Surprisingly, even if we take the kids/hubby out of the picture --- most folks will still not have the dedication. Make sure this is not your case. Make sure you are not using the kids as an excuse.

---------------

- Yes, there are tough decisions to be made. So make them.

Good luck.

John Coxey

[Born2BAnurse]

Hello John Coxey you are funny:D but speak the truth... 5 hours seem like a lot to me but I guess if you split them up its really not a lot.

what about nursing how much time should I spend on that?

I know its not as demanding as A&P !

thanks for the advice!

[Nurse2bSandy]

Born2be,

What supports do you have? Will hubby watch the kids a couple of times a week so that you can get away? Do you have any extended family near that will help so that you can accomplish your goals? What about other moms that you know? Any that could trade child care with? Even though that might mean more kids with you occaisionally, extra kids can entertain your own so that you can do some light studying or maybe housework and be freed up later to focus. Does baby nap? Good time for 4 year old to do a video or video or computer game. Hey, now is the time to take advantage of technological babysitters!

Kids do need structure... they will feel better and so will you. Good luck! This can be done... many here are doing it.

[kids]

Originally posted by Born2BAnurse

fatima, I was thinking of putting some structure into my sons day. I dont know about the 8month old. But If I can get him on a schedule then maybe I can get some studing done. He is not the type of child to just play alone.

I wish I can study at night But im sooo tired that I fall asleep. I was thinking about studing from 8pm to 11pm every night.

You can succeed at this and you do NOT have to make the choice between being a wife & mom or going to school. It is NOT that black and white. I started school as a single Mom 2 weeks before my youngest turned 2. I worked full time and went to school full time.

Evaluate and use your resources, is there a Head Start program in your area? This would give you a few hours of respite with your 4 yo.

As for your 8 mo, (lol, good luck scheduling!) can you utilize the childcare arrangements you have for the baby during clinical for a couple of hours a week?

Your 9 & 13 yo are old enough to buy into your enthusiasim for school. Both are old enough to take on a few REAL chores like dishes, laundry, vacuming. The 13 yo can help the 9 yo with home work.

Everyone can play with the baby, it doesn't just have to be you.

Use the financial advantages of your getting thru school and going to work as a bribe. It is OK to let kids know the "luxuries" a second income can provide. You do not have to be a *perfect* parent 24/7. What children need the VERY most is love & security.

Don't try to keep a perfect house. I almost killed myself in the begining trying to keep up the same pace as before school. I am not saying to sucumb to filth, just that some things are just not worth exhaustion. Tidy and sanitary is good enough.

Make friends with your slow cooker. Learn to work some convience foods into a balanced diet. Breakfast and soup & sandwiches are OK for dinner.

If you are determined to set aside a few hours in the evening to study but are too sleepy, leave home and go to the libary to do it, better yet, are there any other students who are having to do a similar juggling act? Form a study group with them, some times having a person or people who are expecting you to show up (to study) is a big motivator.

Figure out what your best learning style is.

Do you do best if you read every word in a chapter or does it go in your eyes and pass out the back of your brain?

Do you do best if you write things down? If so take lots of notes both in lecture and from your text and rewrite them.

Try starting every new chapter by reading the chapter summary and the learning objectives (usually at the end of the chapter).

Do not be a slave to grades. Find out what the MINIMUM gpa is to remain in your program. Make it your goal, yes, it is striving to be an underacheiver but it is also doing what you can with your circumstances. A 4.0 gpa nurse is NO better than a 2.5 gpa nurse and in the real world employers do not care. The rule of thumb for ANY college level course is an average of 1 to 1.5 hours of outside study for every ONE credit hour per WEEK.

Good luck and remember: You CAN do this.

[kids]

Originally posted by John Coxey

- The younger ones can go in a play-pen. They don't like it -- then tough! They'll eventually quit crying. The older ones can clean house and help out with younger kids. Fun part --- you can punish the older kids if they screw up. Again, they too will eventually quit crying.

I really hope this is an attempt at humor, if not I have to mention that *some* approaches to child rearing are NOT healthy.