I can't believe this is happening!!

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Hi everyone,

I sent my last post back in May letting everyone know that I was CPNE ELIGIBLE, and boy did that feel good. App was in and accepted as of May 6th to SPAC, so now I'm just waiting. I was scheduled for next Wed. 25th-27th @ Sheri's Cpneworkshop in Atlanta. Iv'e been studying mostly Ethics and sorting through the CE's. I was hoping to take Ethics and Religion to get them out of the way before CPNE madness. Well......I went today with my mother-in-law to a general surgeon for a "mass" found near her PANCREAS on a recent CT. She had been c/o epigastric pain x3weeks now. My husband is an only child, his mother lives alone, widowed (his Dad died 10 years ago), she's only 58, a bank manager, stressed constantly, overweight and eats a high fat diet. There you go, pancreatic cancer. Soooo, I have no interest in anything NURSING. I know we're in shock and maybe I'll get up off the pavement and keep studying but now it's all different. My husband has been the one keeping me going, tolerating my long work hours, typical hospital stuff complaints, venting etc. And now what? The enormity of what I went through today, the Dr. saying to her (his compassion was profound) " your cancer is inoperable" his hands were shaking, his eye contact difficult. (ca-19 was 3700, the normal reading is

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I am so sorry

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Sorry for your very sad news

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

I'm so sorry! *hugs* Hang in there ... the CPNE will still be around when you are ready to get back to it. Can you get a refund on your workshop or put the money toward a later one? I would hope they'd allow that, under the circumstances.

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Specializes in Med surg and Psych.

Angela,

I feel your pain sweetheart. I had enrolled in EC in 9/07, before the new changes took place for that reason knowing that I might not get started until much later...My life was a rollercoaster as I had lost my mother-in-law,60 in 3/07 unexpectedly although she had been sick previously,My sister,56 was DX. with a rare tumor to the Sphenoid sinus,which was inoperable...Spent months at MD Anderson, my Grandmother,97 passed away peacefully of old age in 8/07...And then my sister passed away of Thanksgiving day of that year. It was a very bad year. I did not take my first EC exam until almost a year later...Too busy getting my thoughts together...But...My sister had told me to not put it off because of her, but to do it for her...I guess she could read my mind, because I was thinking I don't really want to press on. Anyway...I still have my days where I get teary eyed and I know it will always be that way, but it really does get easier to cope with each passing day. You can come back to this section of your life when you are ready and better able to handle it. I will keep you and your family in prayer if you want. Take Care and Best of Luck! HUGS~~ Traci

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Specializes in Psych, LTC, Acute Care.

I am so sorry.:cry: I really hope that everything works out for the best. Excelsior will always be there. Take care of the MIL first. I will be praying for your strength and her road to recovery.

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I am feeling so sad for you. Call Evelyn at EC scheduling and she will take care of delaying your CPNE. She and her staff are so nice, they won't give you a hard time. Even if you think you can pull this all off, I learned the hard way that grief manifests in many ways. My sister died at age 35 from a medical/med error. In the morning she was alive and well at noon she was in a coma and at 11:15pm she died in the hospital and I was the only person with her. SHe was my beautiful baby sister Eileen. Thought I had it all together, had a 3 year old with medical issues, crazy husband, devasted parents and brothers. I held it all in until Thanksgiving that year and crashed in a big way. For 6 months I thought it was ok to work 3 jobs, grad school part time, running my son in and out of Boston for tx, we lived in New Hampshire, my parents lived on Cape Cod about 130 miles away. I drove there 4x weekly for child care. I did everything except eat and sleep for 6 months. Point is, you can't do it all and be everything to everyone with that kind of stress and do CPNE and workshops, and courses. Try to take good care of yourself and your husband. Be there with your MIL, say everything you want her to know from your heart, have no regrets. When you and your family begin to recover from the grief and the missing of her, then you think about career. It may take a year or 2, but you will know when the healing has begun. I became a nurse because of Eileen but it took me 7 years to make that decision, give up my real estate business and take the nursing school plunge. Bet she is proud of me. {{{HUGS}}} If you need a virtual shoulder, speak up.

Maureen, GN

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