I can't do this anymore

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Well clearly, you are a much better human being than the OP, Rivalicious.

You are a much better human being than I. I have had all of those thoughts and feelings described by the OP, and yet I am a damn good nurse and an asset to the profession and to my place of employment, and have made a difference and touched many lives.

Having feelings like those described by the OP doesn't mean you should not be a nurse. It is definitely a signal that there is something wrong, and I'm glad the OP reached out to us and shared them, and stuck their neck out, risking judgment in order to do so.

I hope this is just a starting point for the OP to do some soul searching and to take the steps necessary to remedy this, and find her/his place in nursing where they will remember why they became a nurse and find meaning and satisfaction in their work.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

Well, I'll say that I Have looked into some of these other jobs.

Pharm/Med equp rep- all wanted 1 + years of proven experience in sales, and 4 yr degree.

Office nursing (some have good pay)- not where I am located. Most offices here don't hire RN's, and if they do , it's for 14 bucks an hour.

surgery centers- want prior or experience.

employee health- have never seen an opening in this where I am.

OR must work on call and rotate all 3 shifts.- I live too far away to make call

Endoscopy-same

Cath/GI lab,-same, and if anyone has ever workedwith cardiologists, you'd know this is not a desireable area.

Case management, research nursing, quality improvement, utilization, auditing, educator, clinic, risk management, insurance - all these advertised that they wanted a 4 yr degree, and PRIOR experience.($$), agency picc lines, legal consultant, etc etc.

It's like the new grads being told they can't get hired because they have no prior experience.

I only pointed these things out because I am tired of people says " oh theres other areas of nursing to get hired in." Ummm, not where I am apparently.

So I stay stuck in a crappy job because having a roof over my head is better than my wellbeing at this point.

Just hope op IS able to find something better.

[TU RN]

^^^ that

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

Yep everything is terrible and it will never get better. Lol. Your choices are change your job or change your attitude. I have a feeling that either choice will improve your life.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Yep everything is terrible and it will never get better. Lol. Your choices are change your job or change your attitude. I have a feeling that either choice will improve your life.

I cannot fathom why you would LOL and belittle the OP, who is clearly experiencing an emotional conflict.

This is a forum for nurses to vent and get advice and SUPPORT.

You are either not a nurse, or missed the lecture on therapeutic communication.

[lynds80]

Putting the issues with co-workers, managers and docs aside for a moment-The way you refer to your patients does indeed make me think you chose the wrong field. You complain that they are old, sick, demented, indigent, obese...who did you think you would be taking care of, the young, sane, wealthy and attractive? Illness can do funny things to people-it renders them helpless, fearful, vulnerable. Same with family members. Often those feelings get channeled into anger and resentment, which are then hurled at you because you are the convenient target. It is hard not to take it personally. It is hard not to get burnt out. But if you have only been doing it for a little over a year, and you're already burnt out to the point where you are dreading waking up in the morning, where you have no compassion or empathy (with the exception of those patients you deem as both "truly sick" AND appreciative of your help) , then yes, it's a good possibility you are in the wrong field. And that's OK! The great thing about nursing though is that there are many things you can do with your BSN that don't require you to be at the bedside. You might consider case management, informatics, or another specialty that doesn't involve direct patient care. With your interest in nutrition, perhaps becoming a diabetes nurse educator would be a good fit. Moving to another floor or hospital isn't going to solve your problem-there is no specialty in nursing where you aren't going to have to deal with ungrateful, unmotivated patients and you don't seem well equipped to handle them. Better to learn that about yourself now, early on in your career, and go find something that makes you happy. Best of luck to you! [/quote

Just because someone has a BSN doesn't mean anything. This market is saturated with nurses. I have a BSN and a bachelors in business. Employers are very picky now a days.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Please get some help for your depression. A change in your outlook may change your working experience for the better.

It seems that you have issues with virtually everyone with whom you interact in the workplace. The one common denominator between all of those interactions is YOU. If you're not getting respect, that's not about all those other people. That's on YOU.

[ComeTogether, LPN]

I'm also thinking maybe you need a different area of nursing. If you still hate it then, maybe you did choose the wrong career. I'm sorry that you hate it. Just know that even if you changed 100 diapers in a shift, you did more to help people than anyone who comments on it. I try to remember that the patients who are the most demanding and the most awful are the ones who really hurt inside. Not that it excuses bad behavior, but I always think "man, what happened to this person to make them this way", and I feel bad for them. I'm good at "killing with kindness", and it seems to work.

I hope you get happy. Nothing worse than hating the day ahead before it starts.

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

I cannot fathom why you would LOL and belittle the OP, who is clearly experiencing an emotional conflict.

This is a forum for nurses to vent and get advice and SUPPORT.

You are either not a nurse, or missed the lecture on therapeutic communication.

1. I am a nurse and am pretty good at diffusing situations.

2. There is only so much one can say after the OP clearly doesn't want advice. When a person gives you an excuse after every helpful suggestion, sometimes it calls for truth telling. Woe is me does not help anyone. Sarcasm is part of my vernacular sometimes. Its not an emotional conflict if they are convinced that nothing can help them.

Millions of people change their minds and there is nothing wrong with that but don't ask for advice but reject it when it comes. You can lead a horse to water....

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

1. I am a nurse and am pretty good at diffusing situations.

2. There is only so much one can say after the OP clearly doesn't want advice. When a person gives you an excuse after every helpful suggestion, sometimes it calls for truth telling. Woe is me does not help anyone. Sarcasm is part of my vernacular sometimes. Its not an emotional conflict if they are convinced that nothing can help them.

Millions of people change their minds and there is nothing wrong with that but don't ask for advice but reject it when it comes. You can lead a horse to water....

I'm really confused. When did the OP reject anyone's advice? They haven't posted in this thread since their original post. How do you know the OP clearly doesn't want advice?

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

Whoops! That wasn't meant for the OP. I believe that at the time of my first post, I was reacting to people on the site repeatedly asking for advice and coming up with every excuse why it won't work for them even though it's worked for many before them. I apologize.

[TriciaJ, RN]

Nowhere in my post did I say she had to "like" all of her patients-miserable, obese or otherwise. We all have to take care of patients we aren't fond of, and I have had days where I've been pushed to my breaking point too. But when you start saying things like your patients are "demented" and "disgusting", those are dehumanizing terms and I think it's a sign that something is seriously off. Maybe some professional help or peer counseling would help, maybe a different job would do the trick, or maybe bedside nursing just isn't a good fit for the OP. I tend to think it's the latter, others may disagree. Bedside nursing is a hard, often thankless job and you have to really have a passion for it to survive and not get burnt out. And By OP's own admission nursing wasn't even her first choice, so why stay on the floor when there are so many other things you can do with a BSN?

I also don't see what being obese has to do with a patients likeability, it's not a character defect

I think the point OP was making is that she is working way harder for her pts than they are willing to work for themselves. There are areas of nursing where many of your pts will have problems that are largely self-inflicted; they have no intention of taking better care of themselves, they are not paying their own way and they don't care if you drop dead while busting your butt for them. It's a tough demographic to work with. If you're not supported by your coworkers and management, your compassion will swirl down the drain in a hot minute.

There are other areas where OP can work as a nurse. Even tough areas like psych, corrections and hospice can be more rewarding than the unit OP describes. Doctors grabbing your butt?! Time to burn rubber out of their parking lot. Good luck and keep us posted!