Hysterical phone calls about people in labor!

[ceecel.dee, MSN, RN]

OB4ME - I doubt I'll ever get that one out of my head! :chuckle

[NurseAngie]

Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes

rofl OB4ME...Placenta Primavera...ewwww. Might make it easier to swallow.... But did you know, many people who give birth at home EAT a portion of the PLACENTA to (purportedly) stop pp hemorrhage? Yep, it's true. I would have pass on that one and get me the cytotec or hemabate. Sheesh!

Now that is GROSS!

~Angie

[mark_LD_RN]

i oftem wonder what is in the water here. we do seem to get some real winners here lately,

[at your cervix]

General rule of thumb:

If a pt comes in riding on one cheek and screaming, they will be either complete or thick and closed!!!

[CMTMom]

Debbie, I'm slightly north of Bellingham, I live in Ferndale. Where in the PNW are you?

[finallyRN]

The other night we had a patient that ER called up on to announce her arrival and said she is very uncomfortable and pushing. She comes up screaming in a wheel chair. We get her in a room and she says she is so uncomfortable she won't even take her clothes off. She was out of control thrashing all over the place. We take a better look at her and her clothes are filthy and she has grass in her hair. Now mind you she was there 2 hours earlier and did not look such a mess. Her story was she was in such pain and her husband didn't know what to do because she won't walk out to the car. So he decides to try and carry his 9 month pregnant wife out to the car. He gets to the front yard and drops her in the grass so she then is rolling around in the grass in agony. Anyway we finally get her clothes off and check her. She is 2-3/50/-2 ( she was 2cm 2 hours previously)

[mother/babyRN, RN]

Mark, I think whatever is allegedly in the water in your area has somehow traveled to our area. Other night started out not badly, and then we got a lovely non English speaking woman ( in obvious labor), with a history of rapid delivery 2 years before. Her husband, mother and 2 year old non English speaking family was also in tow. I try to elicit if there is anyone in the area who can watch the child. They point to me. I say no way..Get her ensconced in the delivery suite. She is SO in labor that I don't bother to triage her in a labor room...You know how it goes...I ask her if she thinks her water broke and simultaneously try to demonstrate what I am asking by pointing to her vagina and legs with my arms extended down. She rightfully stares at me with "What the hell is up with you?" eyes...Ditto the family. Then she pulls out a saturated green tinged formerly white towel from between her legs and hands it to gloveless me. Question answered...

NOW I get a patient who is screaming, who didn't bother to stop downstairs. She apparently is very uncomfortable. I put her on the monitor and what few contractions she has do not seem terrible on the efm. Long years of practice has me automatically place my hand on the gravid belly (its actually a gravid uterus, right? Oh well, you guys know what I mean) so I can palpate the contractions at the same time they trace. Usually do that right after Leopolds....Anyway, I am not feeling anything horrible BUT she has back discomfort so....First pt ( the non English speaking one) I had already determined was 4 but with what an old timer around our digs calls "a gossamer cervix" the thread like kind that you just KNOW is the only thing holding the baby back...

Meanwhile I get ANOTHER pt with a history of rapid labor ( I should be so lucky in my OWN life), complainig of "the worst pain I ever had mostly on my left side.) I think it sounds renal, as she just completed a 2 week course of antibiotics and dipped positive for not only bacteria but blood. She is afebrile and having contractions AND due....She is, however, a 1 cm posterior hard to reach presenting part type of labor person. Great, we have time..I make her a warm soak to put on the area and mini cath her...

Meanwhile, the second pt who arrived is a whiner who also arrived with her husband and mother. First thing the patient tells me is she has a hate affair with pain. Her contractions, few as they are, slow down even more....SHE ( after I examine her Ultrasound) had a ve by me and was posterior and also FT....I tell her to walk around. She tells me she is crampy and doesn't want to. Her mother wants to know when the baby will be born ( maybe next week, I'm thinking)...They walk, come back and have no change other than a little more regularity in contractions. I suggest they go home and rest. She starts to cry and mom says no way. Husband is ready to sleep, period. He has had it with both of them. Me too...SO, I tell her she is not admitted and if she hangs around she should either walk to get into more labor or try and rest, but remind her her bed is probably more comfortable than our measly stretcher....More whining. So, ( even though the first pt is getting more active and I REALLY need to get back to her)...suggest that I have to call the doc to let him know about the other two and , if the pt wants, I can discuss Morphine for theraputic rest, since she is worried about the 25 minute drive back home...Ok, she says . GREAT, I think...Call him, get the order...She refuses. She changed her mind. Oh well, I gotta go..Talk amongst yourselves, I say....

First pt has had her 1st iv, her labs and alka gold so now qualifies for an epidural. She is 5 cms...This has all happened in the space of half and hour. AND we have a scheduled c/s in the morning so at some point have to get her ready for the day shift with regard to chart, prep, computer room and or set up...AND they floated someone, so I call her back...Great, now I have backup...

Epidural flunks times tow...Can't advance the catheter. NOW we have to do an intrathecal which works, thank God....Reanal pt is crying....Whining pt consents to Morphine after I thankfully convince her of its short half life thus desirability to be given in cases such as this......"Are you SUPPOSED to give that stuff to a pregnant patient?" (No, I just picked YOU for the intial deal)

THEN! I get a call from another pt at home who thinks she is in labor. Come on in, I tell her...Can she tell me anything more. Yes, she says, I was supposed to be sectioned next Monday...S***! I am definitely thinking, as I answer the phone in the room where my intrathecal pt is starting to feel pressure...Somehow we manage to get another table set, and I call admitting to let them know I will at least need labor check paper work for the lady coming in. 15 minutes later I get a frantic call from the emergency room telling me they just received a cell phone call that someone is delivering in the parking lot and of course, it is my expected labor (c/s) pt...I pick up the phone and inform the doc that he has to go down and he tells us one of us has to go too. I volunteer but the newer nurse would rather do it since my pt ( formerly mostly hers) is almost fully. I have delivered kids before. She figures if she has to, it would be nice to have an OB there. Smart girl...Off they go.

They arrive with the pt, who proves to be 9 cms...I say what are we doing, VBAC or C/S? Thank goodness when I heard she was coming, I took the time to open the cs kit and prepare the OR....(Like nights has nothing ELSE to do) Of course, in this facility, the OR and RR get to stay HOME if it isn't busy..

OB isn't sure, but call the team anyway, just in case...(They will just LOVE that).....I do, though, as non English speaking mom comes to the desk with that look in her eye that we all know means "It's time!" Great, I have an OB there.....Wrong, our newest patient is abrupting. NOW WE HAVE TO DO THE C/S!

As he leaves with the other del nurse PLUS the pp Rn we plucked to help out, he smiles and tells me not to have my patient push. Right, I counter, When is the last time YOU tried not to push? He is still laughing as he goes to the OR. I resign myself to the fact that I will be delivering my pt...

Well, baby in OR born about 15 minutes before my baby..Doc arrives in room as head is coming out....Lots of molding and I did as much ironing of the perineum as I could....( I forgot to mention that c/s abrutption pt and husband brought in their 11 month old and wanted someone to babysit so dad could go into the OR. He was unhappy that we couldn't do it OR allow the kid in. So, now we have 2 toddlers on delivery.....In between the 15 minutes between babies, theraputic rest whining person decides she will go home after all.....Morning comes. I am so damn happy to get out of there, as it is my childs birthday and it has been a hell of a night..2 sick calls....GUESS WHO HAS TO DO MANDATORY OVERTIME! And I was coming back that night AND I have a long commute....I was ready to shoot someone ( Just kidding for any law enforcement folks who might be "reading" in here)....This is usually typical of delivery just so all you would be OBs realize it..

Thanks to everyone for "listening:...You know you've had the same stuff, right???:)

[mother/babyRN, RN]

Forgot to mention that somewhere in there renal lady manages to dialate a little but I cant swear to presenting part so I drag the OB out to do a portable ultrasound to confirm vertex...THATS why he was laughing at me while going in to the section. He figured he would get me back. Good thing he is usually a good guy....Already planning my revenge on him. Must be subtle though..Any ideas???

[NurseDennie, BSN, RN]

Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes:

But did you know, many people who give birth at home EAT a portion of the PLACENTA to (purportedly) stop pp hemorrhage? Yep, it's true. I would have pass on that one and get me the cytotec or hemabate. Sheesh!

Actually, I have heard of that, only not for stopping bleeding. It's kind of common amongst the hippies, it's supposed to increase breastmilk. I don't know - I'd never try it! Placenta stew. I actually know people who have done this.

Love

Dennie

[mark_LD_RN]

i have heard of it used for both purposes. i been working on some recipes for placentas. what you think about the following?

1) smothered placenta with onions in brown gravy

2) placenta casserole

3) blackened placenta

4) baked placenta with crawfish almondine sauce

[mother/babyRN, RN]

Hey, WHO knows? Maybe, if you didn't know what you were eating, you might LIKE it...I know I would need NOT to know what it was, but the blackened version sounds good to me and I also like liver and onions the way my gramma made it, so there is hope for me yet..Would YOU try it Mark????Somehow you seem curious and open minded enough for the answer to be yes. Am I assuming here?

[mother/babyRN, RN]

Placenta stew AND placenta primavera....Hmmm, maybe a little entraprenurial endless supply of potential foodstuff here..If they will eat snails, they will probably eat anything...:)